Why did people think this game was going to be easy and made for casual players? Everything I've read about it is that the Director of Dark Souls started on Bloodborne after Dark Souls 1, and this is his response to people thinking his games were easy. It sounds like it's one of those sequels that are actually harder then the previous entry, like in the 8-bit days. Isn't that what all gamers should want?
I hope they fix loading time with a patch. I just can't imaging playing a Souls game and then waiting to get back in after every kill. Oh Hell No!
Bloodborne Impressions
|
 On 03/27/2015 at 01:51 AM by Blake Turner See More From This User » |
Life is a cold bottomless abyss of broken promises, defeat and death. There is no love. There is no beauty. Everything is darkness. Darkness is ugly. But ugliness is beautiful. Death is the only certainty, but the question is when. And the answer is always. But sometimes not, because even the certain things are uncertain. For that is life. A box of chocolates that have been smuggled into prison in a fat hookers asscrack. That has needles in it. And the hooker has AIDS, and she dies if you don't eat the chocolate. And she has 19 kids because she's catholic and doesn't believe in protection. And we're all doomed. We will all die. We are a cocoon of death. When we finally spread our wings they will fall off and we will die.
So, Bloodborne is pretty good. Pretty damn good. Like, super spectacularly awesomely fantasmagorically good. Like, possibly better than Dark Souls good. The problem? It's harder than my cock after watching Schindlers List.
Let's start with the combat. It's amazing. Seriously, this is the kind of gameplay that God himself could not create. That could be because he's not real and more of a voice in the back of your head saying "Kill people, burn shit, fuck school" but that is irrelevant. If this gameplay existed centuries ago there would be no war, for no one could stop playing long enough to give a shit about anything. It's more fluid and tight than my vagina after watching Schindlers List.
But the enemies are smarter than you and you can't really take your time and scout out your surroundings. Gone are the days of circle strafing while figuring out your enemies attack pattern. Now it's do or die. Fight or flight. Kill or be killed. The lack of defense gives the game a challenge beyond Dark Souls.
Also, the art direction is amazing. Gothic horror is a great setting, and this game fucking nails it. There's werewolves, Lovecraftian elements, and steampunk shit. How can you not love it?
So, apart from difficulty, do I have any problems with this game? Fuck yes. The Loading Screens are longer than my nipples after watching Spongebob Squarepants. 42 seconds long is ridiculous, and if this were any other game I'd give it a 4.2 and throw it at a homeless person. But it's Bloodborne, so naturally I can't stop playing. Which is infuriating because I die a lot. Which means a lot of loading screens. Which means at certain sections of this game you'll probably spend more time on twitter than the game itself.
There is also a boss with a really cheap instant kill maneuvre that it conveniently forgets to telegraph and IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!
I'll leave it there. YOu should expect more Bloodborne blogs. Or follow me on twitter where I've been posting my status in the game. Or ignore me, you cruel heartless bastard.
I shall leave you with some words by Shakespeare: !Ye Should drink and be merry, for the night is dark and sometimes spooky, and if you are not careful, you'll probably die of cock death." Truer words have ne'er been spoken. Amen.
Comments