PixlBit

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged in any form this year. To say that I’ve been very busy would be an understatement. Several life changes have taken effect on my life that has gotten in the way of my other hobbies. I know folks understand such events and I thank them for their understanding. Still I’d like to share a brief update on what’s been going that’s kept me away from the keyboard and the controller. I’ll do my best not to ramble out of fear in boring some folk.

 

Playing less and less games.

Aside from my usual romps in Ace Combat Infinity, I’ve found myself less and less interested in gaming as a whole. The industry and gamers are changing in ways that I’m not sure if I’m interested in keep with. I find myself interested in my retro collection than I am with future game releases. Aside from games like Xenoblade X and Fatal Frame V for the Wii U, I don’t see myself getting into anything new despite being a fan of some of these franchises that will see a future release very soon. I guess you could say gamergate, the business of selling games and the no longer guarantee that you’ll actually get a full product is making me take a collective stock in what was essentially my main hobby. But oddly I’ll find myself buying various digital titles on the pretense that they are super cheap. I’m starting to get spoiled by PSN’s $.99 Flash Sales but even after I buy them I don’t see myself playing them right away. I keep telling myself “for a rainy day” but that day never seems to come. Even as I continue to keep up with gaming news and the happens, I find myself less and less impressed on what is coming about. At least my “Little One” is enjoy my impressive library of physical and digital games.

 

I resigned.

I’ve talked off and on in how my workplace has slowly changed in manners that I wasn’t too keen on. Though I did my best to stay onboard, I decided that it was probably best that I made my exit. Thankfully all parties were professional about the matter and I was able to depart with little to no drama. I know some say change is good but from my experience it’s hardly ever the case for me. So if I mean to change then I’ll make the change myself.

 

I got my Indian Name.

My father decided that it was high time for his children to receive their Indian names. In my culture we were supposed to receive our names right after we were born. But due to circumstances that wasn’t the case. So my father figured it was better late than never and had the ceremony done with the help from one of the pastors from the Native American Church. Honestly I wasn’t sure what to expect in this ceremony given that I haven’t paid much attention to my culture for a long time. I thought it would be an elaborate ordeal when in truth it wasn’t any more elaborate than what one would expect if they were being baptized. I was given my father’s name as it was passed down by his father: Nini’ Baton. It roughly translate to “pipe” as in “peace pipe”, one of the most sacred and honored names in my tribe. It’s actually spelled different than how it looks on here given that my keyboard doesn’t have a means to put the “N” over the “O” so the pronunciation will sound off if one says it right now. It’s one of those names that you have to hear it to be able to say it right. I’m doing my best not to forget it given how I’m bad with names outright. It’s why I now have it as my name on Twitter so that I may never forget.

 

I’ve moved to South Carolina.

If you’ve followed me on teh twitter you probably would’ve guessed this was a long time in coming. I didn’t want to say anything officially till I knew for certain that this move was going to happen. It was about a year in the making so as you can guess anything could’ve happened at that time. But as things turned out it all came together, with a few hiccups every now and then. I was able to sell the house and line everything up to leave with very little complications. But this move turned out to be harder on me than I would’ve expected it. The last time I left my homeland I was looking for adventure and a new start on my life. This time I feel like I may never go back. I had really hoped that things would worked out where I could be like my parents and live on the land that my ancestors lived. To grow old and grew and eventually have a family of my own and perhaps be buried there as well. Sadly things didn’t quite work out that way. I really really really wished things had worked out but life sometimes doesn’t work out in your favor. It was really hard for my folks since they had grown use to me being around. They worried about me terribly during my travels and days away from the homeland. But they took it well and we spent as much as we could before we had to go. In truth I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be on me. I felt like a Baggins leaving the Shire but with no promise I would ever return. Sure I would visit but never would I grow old and die there with teh wife or raise my children in the land where I grew up. As for my thoughts on South Carolina? It’s hot, it has its moments and I can get involved in this whole Confederate Battle Flag fight nonsense. Yeah!

 

I’m now an official guardian.

Those who have kept up with my various blogs, twitter and instragram postings would have noticed that I spoke of a “Little One” very so often. You’d also know that there have been times that I’ve taken her under my wing during various circumstances. Off and on during her young life I have been somewhat of an “unofficial” guardian to her in making sure she is properly taken care of be it helping her out given that we are family to ensuring she gets a well-rounded education in gaming.  This time around things are a little bit different. I can’t go too much into details but as of now I am her official guardian. For the most part she seems okay with this new arrangement, going as far as actually calling me “Daddy” when she wants to get under my skin. Sure I’ve watched over here since the age of 3 but this will be the first time I’ll have to contend with a 13 year old girl. It’s been 10 years already? I do feel old….

 

I’m with one less parent.

Not a week had gone by since I moved down to South Carolina that I received a call from my Mother that my Father had passed away. It was a shocked to literally everyone that knew him. Just the weeks prior he had a full physical done and was shown to be in the best of health. Everything came back great with no sign of any problems. He was even told his lab work was something that a middle aged man would kill to have. And yet after halfway thru the day of doing what he always does, being seen by several people in perfect health, he suffered a massive heart attack and died in the presence of my mom and other family members.

Honestly I could put a “thank you Obamacare” blurb in here but I’m in no mood.

I didn’t expect the last time I would see him was when we said our goodbyes after my move. I had plans to eventually visit with possibly some grandkids for him to spoil. I even told him before I left that I specifically demanded he not die on me. Even now I don’t know if he did this on purpose just to make me look bad or if there is some kind of conspiracy that he was assassinated by some shadow organization if only to silence him about a secret that would rock the very fabric of our society. I and teh wife hurried back to Nebraska to be with my Mom and help her coup during our time of loss as well as help plan his funeral. Given he was one of the old guard and the last to have full Indian blood in him he was given a traditional burial as proscribed by our tribe. The same man that oversaw our Indian naming also took part in the wake/vigil/and public display of my father. Even now it’s still a shock to me in how everyone arrive to pay their respects. From elders from the tribe to prominent business men and farmers. His funeral was so large that we had to hold the service in the local town hall than at the church. From locals in town to people he’s done business to, he’d been known my many in so many different social circles. One of the people who spoke during the public display seemed to sum it up best: 60 years ago if we had the same people here in the room like we do now, we’d either be angry or yelling at each other due to our cultural/social/racial differences. That’s what made my Dad so unique. Unlike some who had a hard time trying to bridge that cultural/social/racial divide that still exists with the generations, my Dad was able to not only bridge that gap but also continue to remain true to who he was. My dad was indeed one of the old skool hardasses that we don’t see these days. You know the ones: doesn’t care about political correctness, tells the truth no matter how much people would hate to hear it, always outspoken and lived by his own code that he would expect from his children and would literally do anything to keep those he held dear safe from any harm. Even if it meant going to jail for it. You’d think someone like that wouldn’t be able to play the part of mediator and get along with most people but somehow my Dad found a way. Some days he would’ve reminded me of Vlad Tepes: extremely generous to his friends and family yet deadly to what few enemies he had. While at other time’s he’d remind me of Duke Leto the Just of House Atreides: A man who would make any decision than no decision at all.

Even now I am still finding it hard to move on given how big Dad was in my life in his own way. Even my “Little One” was devastated by his passing and said she was going to miss being his “special one”. We have means to remember him but it may take a while to get use to the fact that someone I thought who would live to 90 isn’t going to now.

That pretty much sums what I’ve been up to these past few months so you’ll forgive me if I haven’t kept up with my mailboxes or blog readings. As you can see a lot has changed and even though things have slowed down a bit for me to get my bearings, I still have a lot to process in what I should do. Though I have a lot of time on my hands I still need to find a job and make sure my “Little One” is properly taken care of. I’m not sure how I’ll begin a new my bloggings but we shall see since Octoberween will soon be upon us. We shall see. In the meantime I thank you for reading. Here’s to see if I return soon.

Ta-ta

“N”