First off, let me say that I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Second, I think moving to that new apartment complex is probably the best thing for you right now.
i want to move very BaDly.
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 On 02/02/2016 at 09:57 PM by Julian Titus See More From This User » |
Hey, Day two! I can't remember the last time I sat in front of my PC two days in a row to write something. Hopefully this BaD month will help me get back into the writing groove. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to write about today, and had planned to focus on why my output ground to a halt. Something happened today that I wanted to talk about first.
I've talked a bit on Nerds Without Pants (and on this staff blog) about how I was coddled by my mother. I was very sickly growing up, and she just got used to taking care of me. That extended into adulthood, and my "failure to launch" was epic. I lived on my own for a few years before my mom retired when she had to relocate to Houston, but once she retired and moved back to Austin we began renting a house together.
I'm not proud of that, and I'm not writing about it because I think it's something good. But Austin is expensive, and I wasn't making a lot of money. My mom was now on a fixed income and really couldn't afford a nice place on her own, so it made sense. Fast forward 8 years, and I was still living with my mom. It was comfortable, even if her strict religious views stifled a lot of my personal growth. But that's not what this is about.
My mom is gone now. She was taken from me in a hellish car accident. I've been living in our house for the past six months, and the place feels empty and, to be honest, kind of scary. I feel like she's here, and she's not happy with me and the way I'm barely taking care of myself. Even with all the organizing, pre-packing, and throwing stuff out I've been doing, the place looks run down. It's time for a change of venue.
Things have changed a lot for me recently. I have a better job, and I am finally in a financial place where I can take care of myself, albeit as long as I watch how I spend my money. My lease on the house is up at the end of May, and it's time to look for a new place.
Today, I checked out a brand new apartment complex, just 15 minutes away from my office. My current commute is between 45 minutes to an hour, so right away that's a huge help with gas money and personal time. I like the idea of living in a new complex, too.
I freaking fell in love with this place.
It's slightly outside of my price range, but when you factor in the fact that I am debt free for the first time in my life, the actual monthly bills end up coming to around what I'm paying now. The key difference is the sheer sense of peace that washed over me when I stood in that apartment. That's a feeling that I haven't had for six months, and I am not a good enough writer to accurately describe what was going on in my head.
I have another place to check out tomorrow, but I was very close to signing a lease today. I haven't done much living in my 35 years on this little blue planet, and I am ready to rectify that.
Oh, and vidya games! I started Rise of the Tomb Raider over the weekend. I don't have much to say about it yet, but it takes everything I loved about the 2013 Tomb Raider and builds on it in the best ways. I thought I would want to wait longer to start it, because I just finished Tomb Raider Definitive Edition a few weeks ago. I can already sense myself getting sucked in all over again, and the game is bloody gorgeous! Easily the best-looking game I have played to date, and I think that includes the Final Fantasy XV demo.
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