So basically I came to a realization when 1up closed down: people actually think I'm entertaining. Like I saw people comment, but I always thought they were drunk or tried injecting crack for a change. But no, I'm legitimately entertaining. So I thought, "Well why the fuck am I doing this for free?" So, I'm going to make some changes to turn my blogs into more of a service for the rest of you. Now, how is this a service you ask? I don't know! All I know is that it gives me more money! So in the future expect...
Picture pass
So basically it's going to be this simple: My blogs always have pictures, which I have to look up on the internet MYSELF!!! So I thought I might as well earn a little extra cash on this for the side. So here's how it's going to go: I'm going to start putting up pictures, but also advertisements. Now, if you have adblock off* you can see both fine. If however, you have adblock on and would like to keep it on, then you'll have to pay two dollars per series a year, and you can enjoy these without the ads.
What you'll look at if reading my blogs does not end with me getting money.
As for series, I will divide my blogs into five series: Reviews, Top 5 Lists, Editorials, Rants, and "Drunk Greenman Talks..." Why not just let you have everything by paying up, you ask? Well, it's simple: I want more money. Oh, and Drunk Greenman Talks will be an extra dollar
Micro Examples
Those of you who regularly read my blogs will notice a few games that appear up commonly. Mass Effect and Pokemon are easily the most common of these, with a lot of mentions towards series such as Halo, Mario, and Zelda. But what about games that I played, but never really bring up like Final Fantasy VII, God of War, and Phoenix Wright? Wouldn't you like to see those used more?
Well, if you're willing to pay twenty five cents an example, you can get extra ones. Not only will I let you buy these individually, but for just five dollars a year, you get unlimited access to them. Now, I'm not going to tell you which games I bring up and which I won't until they're actually there or how many you'll get. So if you want a lot of Advance Wars mentions, you may be out of luck. BUT there is a chance there will be an AW mention every blog, so why not try?
You know it's worth twenty five cents apiece.
Always Online Implementation
I know what you're saying now, "But Greenman, I have to be online to read, so how can you make this always online?" Well, it is possible for people to get around these changes by having one person copy and paste them or pirate them. So I'm going to split my blogs into multiple sections. At most these sections will be a paragraph, some will be a picture with a caption or a couple sections.
Now how do these fight piracy you ask? Well, they make it harder to copy and paste. I mean, I suppose pirates still could get it done and I'm only really punishing those who are still reading despite these new changes. But you know what? I don't care. I have a gut feeling they'll be pirated less and I'll still have control over my readers. And that's what matters.
Kickstarter
Now, there are sometimes things I write about, but just don't have enough motivation to do it. So, what I plan to do is fund a kickstarter for these things. Now, sometimes the money will actually go to something like buying 20 copies of Assassin's Creed 3 to chuck at cars. Sometimes they'll just be because I really value my time and if you want to see me play and blog on a game I really hate like Crash Twinsanity**, well, it's going to take a lot of money to get me motivated to play it. Because all I care about is money at this point.
Who knows? Maybe every blog will be Kickstarter funded eventually.
That's not to say there won't be anything given back to you though. In fact, here are some prizes I have:
$5 gets you a photo of me flipping you off. Seriously, you only donated $5?
$20 gets you a signed photo of me flipping you off
$50 gets you a Bidoof from one of my Pokemon files. This Bidoof will have my trainer ID so you will have a piece of Greenman with you everywhere you go.
$100 will get you a used condom I have lying around here.
$1000 will get you 5 minutes to do whatever you want to whatsacow alone. These can be just talking to him or you can get a sexual favor. Now, I haven't asked him if he can do it, but he's not one to break a promise. He'll be a pal and keep me from being a liar.
Expect these changes soon along with changes to the content that will include these more. I don't give a fuck whether they make them better or worse because they give me more money.
*On a more serious note, thought I'd just mention that this is the only site where I turn ad block off and everyone else here should do the same. Yes, 1up overdid the pop up ads which is why you got it too, but these guys do a good job keeping them out of the way.
**And on another more serious note, I got a copy of Crash Twinsanity last month and plan to replay it at some point so I can let you see what makes this my most hated video game ever. If you thought I was pissed at Assassin's Creed 3, wait until you see my reaction to that.
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