It's Never Too Late! Serious Blog!

On 04/02/2016 at 03:58 AM by NintendoFanJon

So I caved in yesterday and decided to myself...you know Jon...the Wii U just ain't cuttin the mustard anymore. Speaking of which what does that expression mean? How does one cut the mustard? Are we assuming one is cutting a mustard bottle? Is it simpler? Are they cutting a hardened frozen mustard blob? Perhaps it is like cocaine in that you can cut lines of mustard.

Speaking of mustard. I enjoy nice strolls in the park. Parks are great ya know. Do you think that parks are cool? I think they're the bees knees. And what of bees knees? Bees don't have knees! Why is it expressions don't make sense. Oh I'd rather...I'll tell you what. It's like I'm a relief pitcher who fumbles the ball. Did I just mix up two sports metaphors? No I couldn't do that.

Anyways the point I'm trying to make is that sheep are evil creatures. They're always looking at ya. Yeah I see you... Eating your grass. Bah-ing and making sheep noises. You think that sheep are docile creatures but mark my words they're plotting. They're plotting my friends.

And wouldn't you believe that I ran out of coffee and milk this morning. I mean of all the nerve! How am I supposed to mix the two together? How am I supposed to eat my breakfast now? I made bacon and I put it in a bowl and what do ya know!? NO MILK! Dry bacon is no good without milk! And without coffee how do I make vegetable smoothies? The smoothie recipe specifically calls for blended carrots, tomatoes, lettuce, and coffee! It's all the fault of my dog. That dog doesn't go shopping! He just lounges around the house all day with his ball expecting me to fetch. Well I'm not going after that ball! No siree! I already catch the frisbee with my mouth!