it's pretty tough to run yourself over. But Trump could do it!
The Bi-Millennial Update on Blake
On 06/01/2016 at 02:01 PM by Blake Turner See More From This User » |
Hi. I'm Blake. You know me, I'm that guy who used to post here who never does anymore because he's just the worst kind of person. A real shitlord if you ask me. Someone should totally massage his bollocks with honey and unleash the ants on that rectum enfused cunt.
My personal fetishes aside, I've been up to a lot lately. And by a lot I mean not very much. And by not very much, I mean the amount of activities I've been partaking in are less than the amount of sense having Donald Trump as president or even having that fucker alive in 2016. I would have thought someone with such alarming idiocy would have accidentally run himself over by now.
Anyway... things I have been doing. I got death threats on IGN again, this time for disagreeing with peoples opinion. I disliked the last episode of Game of Thrones (the hodor one), but seeing as how the end was good everyone forgot how fucking amateur the rest was. "Yay, explosions, we can forget that the dialogue, pacing, and even fucking music is really awful in a show that usually excels in that shit." It's almost like the director said "fuck the plot, here's a twist," which makes sense since the director was also a lead director of Lost.
Anyway, the point is that IGN gave it a 9.5 whereas I would have given it a 5.5 and I got my IP address tracked and people threatened to kill me. Then my comment got deleted, presumably to stop the clusterfuck of 14 year olds trying to murder me for insulting their wank machine. Oh well.
I'm also playing DOOM and I don't know what to think. It's been getting a ton of love, and not just from people who usually like this sort of thing. People keep calling it a revolution, which is odd since they've been giving 7's to similar games for years.
And while this is a good game, I don't think it's really a Doom game. It's more like Halo and Painkiller fucked than anything, which is cool, but ID could have named it literally anything else. I do like how after you kill everything in an area you do some Metroid Prime style exploration for secrets. It's somewhat nice in terms of pacing. I do hate the amount of jumping there is though.
I'm also playing this on PS4 and can't wait to upgrade my pc to play it, as playing this game on a controller is wrong and I feel ashamed of myself - and I don't even feel ashamed when I rub my bollocks in honey and cover it in ants.
Something is seriously wrong though. I think I must be sick or something, because I enjoyed an Uncharted game more than a Doom game. And I enjoyed it more than Casey did. Not that that means anything, mind you. Casey doesn't like The Witcher 3, so his opinion on everything is actually invalid and you should continue pointing that out in the comments to every one of his reviews. Starting with his review for Uncharted 4, which is objectively wrong because I say so.
This isn't as good as 2, but it's a metric cuntton better than the rest of the series. The combat is the best it's ever been, with a nice mix of stealth, platforming, and shooting that doesn't feel limper than my dick when ants and/or honey aren't present.
The story is kinda shit but so is every other game in the series, and the character moments are nice so eh.
I'm sure there's more to talk about but I'm sick of writing and hope you all contract Lou Gehrig's disease.
-Blake out.
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