Video Games Are a Waste of Time. Let's Make Babies Instead!

On 04/01/2013 at 04:30 PM by chocobot

Well it's been awhile since I've blogged here so I think today is finally the day I share what's up. I came to the realization that I'm almost 23 and my life is still going nowhere and I have yet to think of a goal to set for myself. My social life is also quite sad/non-existent. To remedy this I have decided to quit gaming and completely sell my collection. I finally realized what a waste of time video games are. And also so unlady-like! Yuck.

Instead of playing video games I can now just focus on finding the perfect man to marry so I can fulfill my role as a woman and be a housewife. I will be so happy to just cook and clean all day while popping out babies! No more time will be wasted dating fictional anime boys in otome games. In fact, that particular activity will NEVER be mentioned again.

Nope. Never again. Nuh-uh.

Of course, I have also quit my job at GameStop and have applied at Subway, where I would much rather be making sandwiches.

Best of luck everyone! Now I must cancel my preorder of the Neptune Game Machine.

Oh, and here are a few of my favorite April Fools jokes this year so far:

Deus Ex: Human Defiance, an 8-bit adventure!

New FFXIV race, Viangaa. A mix between Viera and Bangaa... ew.

A new game from Nippon Ichi starring Asagi. Atleast, it must be an April Fools joke, right?

Kayshire Cat

04/01/2013 at 04:55 PM

Why would you need to find the perfect man when you've already found the perfect woman? :P

Anyways when you have a chance let's talk soon okay :)

chocobot

04/01/2013 at 06:27 PM

Two women can not be together and properly make babies of course. I am a sophisticated lady and must follow what society dictates is right. :P

04/01/2013 at 06:46 PM

Come here on my bed and sit next to me and try saying that ;)

Matt Snee Staff Writer

04/01/2013 at 05:00 PM

you can have the babies, I want a PS4!

04/01/2013 at 06:24 PM

The PS4 will be such a waste of money and there is no way I am looking forward to it all. I am absolutely not already saving my money for such a pointless object. No way.

BrokenH

04/01/2013 at 05:10 PM

What you talkin about choco?!

04/01/2013 at 06:22 PM

Don't question me, Ben, since I am a woman. Just faithfully be my white knight and agree with everything I say. <3

04/02/2013 at 12:09 AM

Oh yeah,right. (Ahem!) Choco, you should get married and become a baby factory. God speed!

Jesse Miller Staff Writer

04/01/2013 at 05:19 PM

You killed it with the Subway line. Seriously, I went into a fit.

04/01/2013 at 06:20 PM

It is no joke Jesse. Do you not also foresee my bright future in deli meats?!

Coolsetzer

04/01/2013 at 05:24 PM

Cool. You should change your name to BabyMaker2K. That would be hot.

04/01/2013 at 06:17 PM

I have no use for a new username here since I have quit gaming. But I will use it at match.com where I will continue my search for the best baby making husband.

Cary Woodham

04/01/2013 at 05:44 PM

I didn't write an April Fools blog this year. Nope. I always tell the truth. :)

04/01/2013 at 06:16 PM

And I did not read and comment on your April Fools blog. April's Fools is a waste of time like video games, atleast we both understand this.

Super Step Contributing Writer

04/01/2013 at 06:33 PM

I am also 23 and need to quit my PA job and pop out some babies with a woman that makes sammiches. For an upfront fee of $10,000 to be paid to me in three dollar bills, perhaps we could help each other out. Of course, if you don't wind up finding me in any way attractive, any amount of dollar bills, especially hundreds will still be gladly accepted, as would a minted trillion dollar coin. It'll be your first step to subservient womanhood.

04/02/2013 at 04:21 AM

As long as your sperm count is high I'm down. I'm on a baby making mission!

Casey Curran Staff Writer

04/01/2013 at 07:38 PM

I'd rather eat a three Gamcube discs between two Wii discs than a sandwich from Subway so you might make better sandwiches at GameStop.

04/02/2013 at 04:22 AM

That... just sounds painful. I'll stick with smooshy Subway sandwiches thank you.

leeradical42

04/01/2013 at 07:56 PM

Kids yea right keep that thought for the late 30s lol i got 4 take mine for a day and you may become a monk lol, and yea deli meats is an awesome job make babies clean house and eat subway oh thats the life I think I will stick to getting a new system lol!!!.

04/02/2013 at 04:24 AM

Gotta start popping out those kids now so I can have as many as possible of course. Nothing will stop me! Enjoy your time wasting game machines :PPP

NSonic79

04/01/2013 at 09:59 PM

No you fool! you'll kill us all!

04/02/2013 at 04:25 AM

With an army of babies? YES.

GeminiMan78

04/01/2013 at 10:21 PM

You know there probably is some obscure japanese game thats a baby making sim. Why have real kids when you can show up the Duggars with 50 digital kids.

04/02/2013 at 04:27 AM

Basically Conception: Ore no Kodomo wo Undekure, a game I was very interested in. Not anymore. Not at all. Nope.

Halochief90

04/01/2013 at 11:56 PM

Women don't play video games anyway, they just make sandwiches!

It's been a pretty disappointing April Fool's, but this blog was very funny.

04/02/2013 at 04:30 AM

Yeah, this April Fools was a little lame. But we had some fun with it here at Pixlbit! Lots of great laughs.

Jason Ross Senior Editor

04/02/2013 at 12:11 AM

I'd be afraid of a Neptune game machine. When I reviewed the first Hyperdimension Neptunia game, I think I was scarred for life.

04/02/2013 at 04:33 AM

I'm sorry for reminding you of that experience. I hope you didn't have too many nightmares about repetitive gameplay, recycled dungeons and boob jokes. I have a confession though, I actually enjoy the series and the characters. The battle system improved a lot in the second game :P

Captain N

04/02/2013 at 02:44 AM

You know, I'll actually be 23 years old in 18 minutes, I'm serious. But yup, vidja gaemz are a waste of time. We should be doing something more productive like uhhhh..... ah fuck it I don't know.

04/02/2013 at 04:36 AM

Happy Birthday Captain! Now go do something productive with your life! :P

Blake Turner Staff Writer

04/02/2013 at 07:53 AM

This blog may have the greatest name ever. Kudos to you madam/mam/ms/sir/person/thing.

daftman

04/02/2013 at 10:02 AM

Dang, that Amnesia picture...I'm only sure that the fourth character is a guy. The first three are girls, right? Right? I mean, not that you care anymore, so whatever. And you know, it just occurred to me that pregnancy and childbirth is kind of like a nine-month dungeon with a heck of a boss at the end. Just sayin'

jgusw

04/02/2013 at 09:20 PM

I must be awesome, because I play games and make babies. Though the babies do interupt the gaming playing quit a bit.

smartcelt

04/08/2013 at 11:11 PM

Making sandwiches.....and babies! Sounds like you have your hands full with all that. There were some pretty good April Fools jokes going on around here this year,gotta admit.

PixlBit