White Knight Broken rides a silver steed!

On 04/01/2013 at 05:38 PM by BrokenH

It saddens me to say the "Old Ben" you once knew is dead and gone. No longer shall I acknowledge my biological attraction to women. No longer shall I ogle at Ashley Graham's panties with Leon Kennedy's sniper scope and no longer shall I look up hentai of my favorite videogame,cartoon, and anime females!

Today I am a white knight! I've finally accepted females are delicate helpless creatures who ALWAYS need my intervention. (Even when they say they can fight their own battles I know better!) From now on I will come to the aid of damsels in distress and flog myself repeatedly when I gaze upon their flawless perfection for I am merely a lowly mongrel in comparison!

In addition I will find constant ways to bitch how games are counter progressive & misogynistic even though I have a history of actually enjoying them! This will make me seem sophisticated and intelligent amongst my esteemed peers!

As for women who "enjoy" objectifying themselves by creating sexy avatars in mmorpgs, cosplaying at conventions, and playing Jrpgs let me just say YOU NEED TO BREAK YOUR CHAINS OF OPPRESSION! Don't be a SLAVE to the PATRIARCHY!

Now if you excuse me, I have to go to my neutering ceremony. I expect you all to be modestly dressed when I return. I have also decreed all copies of Lollipop chainsaw, Hyper-dimension Neptunia, and Devil survivor will be burned in giant brush piles soaked with gasoline!

Matt Snee Staff Writer

04/01/2013 at 05:43 PM

Have fun at your neutering party. Be sure to drink a lot of beer before, well, you know....

BrokenH

04/01/2013 at 06:09 PM

Thanks,Matt! I didn't want to get "the snip" sober!

Cary Woodham

04/01/2013 at 05:46 PM

Yeowtch! That would be painful!

Your silver steed should be named Turbo Horse.

04/01/2013 at 06:06 PM

Turbo horse.....perfect!

chocobot

04/01/2013 at 05:48 PM

Bravo Ben, allow me to make you a sandwich to congratulate you. I planned on selling my copies of Lollipop Chainsaw, Devil Survivor and Neptunia but I shall donate them to you so they can rightly be burned. I can't believe what a sad person I once was, playing those games instead of trying to make babies.

04/01/2013 at 06:08 PM

I'm saving your soul choco! Sometimes love includes fire and matches! Now, please wear this burka so we cannot see your "womanly" physique. It's to protect you from the gazes of objectifying womanizers! (Which all men are!) Now burn Juliet Starling,burn for being a harlot!

Angelo Grant Staff Writer

04/01/2013 at 06:15 PM

I tried to warn you not to listen to that guy, now look what happened!

04/01/2013 at 08:56 PM

Angelo,won't you join my cause? The neutering isn't as bad as it seems! (When you're drunk)

04/02/2013 at 02:13 PM

Put that rubber band AWAY!

04/02/2013 at 02:17 PM

Bwa ha ha ha! (Walks closer,rubber band stretched between my fingers) You will not feel a thing, Angelo! Fellow knights, restrain him!

Super Step Contributing Writer

04/01/2013 at 06:43 PM

Not going far enough. I think I'm turning myself into a eunuch and foregoing food for forty days as a self-punishment.

During that process, I expect to see a radical change within myself.

I'll go from the dumb, scared Joe on the left, to the righteously embittered Joe on the right. And I will see you all as heathens.

04/01/2013 at 08:58 PM

Those two cats look loaded and dangerous! To the field,sir Joe!

SanAndreas

04/01/2013 at 07:21 PM

This post reminded me of this video (start at 2:40)!

04/01/2013 at 09:02 PM

I had it when errors occur and it asks me to please try again later. Especially since I love Married With Children,Andrew. lol.

Coolsetzer

04/01/2013 at 08:06 PM

Cool. Enjoy your new life as a eunuch. I also want your balls.

04/01/2013 at 09:00 PM

Too late, Setzer! My balls are already gone! But I rejoice for I will never see women in perverse ways EVER again!

GrayHaired

I still have my tonsils, but I've lost my balls years ago. Like 25 years ago!

04/01/2013 at 09:01 PM

Then you are well on your way to becoming one of the elite white knights, sir James!

GeminiMan78

04/01/2013 at 10:06 PM

You do plan to keep them though right? You know, get them freeze dried so you can hang them from your rearview mirror. Fuzzy dice? Nah, those are the real deal!

04/02/2013 at 12:06 AM

I will wear my balls around my neck like prayer beads of chastity!

Blake Turner Staff Writer

04/01/2013 at 11:06 PM

So... essentially what you're saying is that you're going from one type of misogynist to another? Fair enough.

One thing ladies: If you don't want us to look at your chest, don't put writing there. You can't judge us as perves if you're wearing a geeky/funny shirt. We're admiring the shirt, not the cause of your back issues. Also, just because we are attracted to you, doesn't mean we objectify you. Just because we want to fuck your brains out doesn't mean that's all your good for in our opinion. You women ogle men as much as we ogle you, so shut your damn trap.

04/02/2013 at 12:04 AM

Blake,why you critique me?! Also, you're speaking too much rationality! Townfolk,Blake is a warlock! Tie heavy chains to his feet and drown him!

04/02/2013 at 12:35 AM

...No thanks. I almost drowned a week ago. Got caught in a rip for like 20 minutes. Had to go to hospital because I had water in my lungs. Twas shit.

04/02/2013 at 01:06 AM

For real? Damn man, sorry for choosing the worst joke ever. lol. You have my condolences and I'm glad you're "alive".

04/02/2013 at 07:40 AM

Lol it's ok, you didn't know. And eh, I don't mind, I joke about it already too.

04/02/2013 at 10:54 AM

That's you in a nut-shell. lol.

"Hey guys, I almost died! That shit is funny so imma gonna joke about it!"

~Blake

04/02/2013 at 10:19 PM

What's the point of tragedy if you can't find the humor in it?

04/02/2013 at 10:25 PM

100% agree! Have lemons? Make some lemonade!

asrealasitgets

04/01/2013 at 11:24 PM

Umm you mean white knight like the ones from game of thrones who like to get down and dirty with loads of ladies right, right? Am I right?

04/02/2013 at 12:02 AM

Damn, you saw right through that deception!

Halochief90

My guess is you'll be doing your white-knighting... via Xbox Live. It's difficult to save real, live women!

04/02/2013 at 12:05 AM

Real women ARE difficult to save! (pouts) They're too self reliant and capable these days! We need them defenseless and meek again! Either that, or I'm out of a job,Kev!

Chunopo

04/02/2013 at 01:46 AM

Now where do I go to read witty blogs, now that you ve 'turned' my skills as an anti- mysoginistic mole are not needed. Back to the feminist mole hole for me.

04/02/2013 at 01:58 AM

I knew bunnies were afoot but moles too?! This quest for the holy grail is harrowing indeed!

Chris Yarger Community Manager

04/02/2013 at 05:54 AM

Neutering Appointment...

Wait.. You must be my Wife's 4 o'clock appointment.......

lol

04/02/2013 at 10:49 AM

Ah Chris, the ol ball and chain! In all seriousness your wife seems like a peach though. lol. I don't see any "complaint blogs" about her. However, I know she tasks you with hard as hell videogame challenges when you lose bets to her.

atrophycosine

Another one lost to idealism. Such a shame.

04/02/2013 at 10:59 AM

I'm too far beyond logic to listen to you! Videogames are not just for fun. They're for pseudo philosophical debates that make me seem "smart" and as if I have a HUGE e-penis!

If you disagree with me I'm going to tell my feminazi girlfriend and she in turn will break out the trolls of war!

Now, will you kindly cease and desist before you get a non physical thrashing of words that will make you VERY annoyed! Tremble at my power,TREMBLE!

04/02/2013 at 11:01 AM

*Tremble*

04/02/2013 at 11:09 AM

That's better you sexist peasant!

smartcelt

04/02/2013 at 03:54 PM

I'm putting together supplies for you. I'm sending you a crate full of burlap sacks. The itchy kind! Each one has holes cut out for arms and heads. You can take them to gaming and anime conventions. Then cover up the cleavage of all those cosplaying girls. The chains must be broken by YOU!!! And I think the Dead Or Alive game series is in need of your attention. Collect and burn all copies before it's too late. Away on your fine Arab charger......coming to their emotional rescue. {Mick Jagger has nothing on you,btw!]

04/02/2013 at 08:33 PM

Thanks for the burlap burkas. They will totally help me quell the booth babe population! Modesty and itchiness for all!

jcal94

04/03/2013 at 12:59 AM

Just gonna say this...YOU'LL HAVE TO PRY LOLLIPOP CHAINSAW, HYPERDIMENSION NEPTUNIA, HYPERDIMENSION NEPTUNIA MK2, HYPERDIMENSION NEPTUNIA V, DEVIL SURVIVOR OVERCLOCKED, AND DEVIL SURVIVOR 2 FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS!!!!!! And don't you think of touching my Highschool of the Dead blu-ray or cel. That will incur a Lollipop Chainsaw-esque manuever from me. You can tell I take my misogyny seriously. All women hate me. Especially the one in my picture. Cause us males who like boobs and butt are just terrible people with NO SOUL

04/03/2013 at 11:28 AM

You have High School Of The Dead dvd?! You are the enemy! I will have you trolled sir,trolled to infinity! Now,would one of my docile female followers please show this guy where he went wrong? With words of course! I am civilized! (Prepares backstabbing +1 techniique)

PixlBit

White Knight Broken rides a silver steed!

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