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 On 03/22/2017 at 11:47 PM by Blake Turner See More From This User » |
I... didn't get a new Bicycle. I just have the the Queen song stuck in my head.
And now it's in your head! Mwuhuhahahahahaha!
Ahem. So, you're probably wondering what I'm up to. If that is the case, you clearly haven't been following my Twitter because it's FUCKING ZELDA BABY!
Fucking Zelda Baby
First of all, don't google Fucking Zelda Baby with safesearch off.
Second of all, THATS FUCKING LINK BABY, NOT FUCKING ZELDA BABY! BLAKE RAGE!
It's fucking adorable.
Anyway. I've also been playing Zelda: Breath of the Wilds.
Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wilds
Okay... I should clear something up before I talk about Zelda. I was not fucking the Zelda baby. And if I was, look at what the fucker is wearing. HE WAS ASKING FOR IT!
Ahem. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Nubiles is a game where you play as Link - Who looks about 14 - and dresses up as a woman and constantly gets hit on by shady men who are trying to spy on a town full of women.
This game is turning the freaking frogs gay!
It's also a game where you climb towers, because apparently Breath of the Wild stole the ones that were supposed to be in Watch Dogs 2.
In all seriousness, if you know me, you know I'm not a huge fan of Zelda games. I like some of the weirder ones, and the 2D ones are always a good time, but the 3D ones have just never been my bag. Which is odd, because I seemingly adore every game that is either inspired by or completely ripping off Zelda. Looking at you Darksiders!
That is until this one. Possibly because it's not actually a Zelda game. It's Far Cry 2 in Hyrule. It's also one of the best games I've ever played and I can't stop playing it and OH GOD WHY AM I WRITING THIS BLOG I NEED TO PLAY MORE ZELDA!!!!
At this point, I have put about 60 hours into the game and completed two of the main dungeons. I have spent a lot of time dicking around though.
I should also mention that this game is HARDER THAN FUCKING DARK SOULS! Or at least I died more. That could be because I really like sliding down hills on nearly broken shields. Or because the lock on system somehow sucks more dick than the Dark Souls one.
Anyway, this is seriously a top 10 of all time kind of game, so if you ain't playing it... oh what am I saying. You're all retarded Nintendo fanboys who preordered this with their Switch and their two gallons of Reggie's cum.
Bojack Horseman
This show is a comedy. At least that's what Netflix told me. I'm not convinced:
God. This show is depressing. Like the most soulcrushingly devastating thing I've ever watched in my life. It's also hilarious... but fuck. I'm going to take Bojack's idea:
-Blake Out. To cry. And/or set fire to orphans.
Harder than Souls? In FF15, I primarily did monster hunts and dungeons, but mostly hunts for like 70 hours. The dungeons were actually very short and light in content. Zelda games usually have a lot going on with dungeons, like the meat and potato of zelda games are the dungoens I guess, so how are the dungeons and is the open world fun or empty?
Also, what are like your top 5 games then?
Zelda's open world is the best part of it. It's not Skyrim style packed, but it is very interesting to explore and there are a lot of mechanics and attentions to detail that make it very fun to inhabit.
The dungeons are pretty fun. There's only 4 traditional dungeons, and the puzzles are really cool and intricate, though far from the most complex in the series. They're all inside of giant robots that move/fly about while you're inside them, and just getting in them involves a puzzle/boss fight that is very reminiscent of Shadow of the Collossus.
As for my top 5 games... well I'm kind of working on my top 100 games list and adjusting the orders. But games that are generally my favourites in no order: Dark Souls, Resident Evil 4, Silent Hill 2, Doom 2, Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3, Half Life 2, Morrowind, Risen, GW2, The Witcher 2/3, Phantasy Star IV, Jak and Daxter, Ratchet and Clank 3, God of War 2, Fatal Frame 2, Viewtiful Joe...
And that's a lot more than 5 so I'll stop haha.
So did it just take a really good game like Zelda to break your gaming lull, or a break from gaming in general? I remember this happening to me a year or two ago and I ended up just trying different game genres and replaying favorites TV, Movies, Books, Comics. I've played a lot of the games on your list, so I approve.
I'd probably add to mine Links Awakening, Majoras Mask, Deadly Premonition, Resident Evil Remake/RE4, Super Metroid and Metroid Prime, Vampire Masquerade, Left 4 Dead, Xenoblade Chronicles Wii, etc.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/16YLc1yfc9yIH-7MY3rJ3rvrtfrWRe-s0IbciDD3KrMU/edit?usp=sharing
There's a link to my top 100 games of all time if you're interested. It's not complete and only the bottom bit is in order. And it's on page 2. Page 1 is blank.
I think it took a really good game that was outside of the typical genres I was playing. Zelda might fit into the open world action adventure but it just has this tone and feeling that makes it feel entirely different. Plus, it's so mechanically complex that its insane.
I played a bit of Deadly Premonition a while ago. I need to give that game another go.
Also, I might actually buy a Switch for the new Xenoblade. Can you imagine the world that team could create with more modern hardware?!
Actually, I think the team behind Xeno helped Nintendo with Zeldas open world. They did amazing job w/ Wii game, and WiiU is super pretty. I've posted screencaps before. Although Xeno1 is more story driven, while Xeno2 is more open world go-at-your-own-pace kind of like FF15. I will wait until Christmas to get Switch, that way there will be more games, unless I cave and get it on my cakeday in July. I don't want the device to sit there for a year collecting dust.
Deadly Premonition is more story and characters if you ever watch Twin Peaks TV show, its basically a remake which is why people liked it. Its controls are very clunky, and you have to drive everywhere like GTA, but it's such an odd game it stands out to me.
Wow! You sure are busy writing again!
I like that you put Phantasy Star 4 on there.
I just beat Breath of the Wild yesterday. So you're saying it's harder than Dark Souls, and I beat it? Does that mean I really am good at video games? Oh don't say you were only joking, I want to enjoy this moment. :)
I was joking a little, but that early game is tough man. Exploring a world where almost everything can 1 hit kill you...
You only have to give me the title of a Queen track and it's stuck in my head. No listening required.
I really want to play the new Zelda but I'll wait until I can afford a Switch to do it. I hope Xenoblade 2 is more like the original than X was though.
I hope X2 combines the two honestly. Xenoblade X's world was one of the most interesting open worlds I've ever explored, but it would be nice to have characters and a story I cared about again.
Zelda on Wii-U is very much playable, but I feel like it would be better on Switch. I just don't want to spend money on a console that might not even have games on it - much like the Wii-U.
Soon as I saw bicycle bicycle, all I could think of was "meat bicycle", a phrase used often in the Borderlands games.
I held the Zelda Breath of the Wild cart in my hand the other day. So small. How'd they crunch so much digital real estate in that thing? I had rented it thinking I'd have a Switch by now but I don't. Boy are people raving about how good it is. I guess I missed the Nintendo boat yet again.
I'm playing it on Wii-U. Am nowhere close to being able to afford the $600 a Switch costs in Aus.
Yikes! Markup's a bitch.
"while I ride around town in my lowrider bicycle bicyle bicycle bicylce...."
Beastie Boys
I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike...
When I was growing up a local bike shop used that song in their commercial. I'm immune to that song being stuck in my head. 
I like referring to Link as Zelda. It angers Nintendo fanboys, especially at GameStop.
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