Typing While Intoxicated

On 04/28/2013 at 02:47 PM by Super Step

Well, according to an IGN article I read recently, the new XBOX will in fact be always-online, as confirmed by an unofficially official source named Thurott, a blogger who, based solely on that last name, I assume to be a huffy Englishman. Also, the article writer was a guy named Goldfarb, which I believe is a slang term heard on the streets of Ice Compton; it's an Eskimo name for "goldfish wo farts many times," and as we all know those things don't tend to get along with huffy Englishmen, so take the news with a grain of salt.

The mother of both Goldfarb and Henry David Huffington: Mother Earth

Also, Thurott said that while always-online will be a thing, it'll be less Draconian than everyone thinks it is, meaning it'll take place in the actual year 1984, when Lady Gaga was still Madonna, and feature less Draco Malfoy.

Finally, the last bit of rip and read from IGN I'd like to do, is the phrase "Get Horn Free," which they're currently promoting, that I'm guessing is some sort of sexual appetite suppressant. They have their methods, I have mine. Mine being that picture of Jesus that every old white person has in their house that judges you with its eyes.

This one.

And that's all for me, now I've got to finish my sobering up journey that began at sometime around 2am today. I think. Well, whenever it was, it was before we started playing Presidents and assholes, which was a long-ass time ago, and someone owes me Whataburger money, but I want a baby calf with a laser for a penis instead. I'll let you know how that goes.

Nicoleb1989

04/28/2013 at 02:51 PM

Joe you need to take it easy on the tequila and rum over there,lol!

Super Step Contributing Writer

04/28/2013 at 02:55 PM

I had no such thing! All I had was Jameson, Dos Equis, Keystone, and a jug of sweet tea laced with meth. That's it! So I'm good ... 'cept the meth may have rotted my teeth a bit, I guess. Wait ... nah, it was the sweet tea. Definitely the sweet tea.

Matt Snee Staff Writer

04/28/2013 at 05:03 PM

I'm about to have a beer myself!

04/28/2013 at 05:27 PM

Well, I guess as long as you don't have three-four of every beer you have, you should be ok. I just popped an Aleve, and I'm feeling a little better.

transmet2033

04/28/2013 at 09:33 PM

I do not remember where this thought came from, but what if th "always-online" just means that you need to have an xbox live account. Not that you would have to be online everytime that you play, just that you have to pay the subscription fee for xbox live. those money-loving bastards... making me pay a fee just to play games... grrr.

04/29/2013 at 01:43 AM

Didn't think about that, but then why would Thurott say the rumors are mostly true? Paying a subscription fee for an online service, and having a console that needs to be online to work at all, are two very different things. Maybe you're right though, and that's what he means when he says "less Draconian."

Alex-C25

04/28/2013 at 10:45 PM

Lady Gaga was Madonna? Damm! I always thought she was David Bowie....

04/29/2013 at 03:55 AM

Haha

Chunopo

04/29/2013 at 03:40 AM

There are lots of things you shouldn't do whilst drunk, but don't worry this English man doesn't believe that includes blogging.

04/29/2013 at 04:00 AM

I like English people a lot, I've actually looked into media (i.e. Master's of Cinematography) programs in London, but I guess in my drunken stupor, I saw that name and an American stereotype of stuffy Englishmen popped in my head. Looking at it sober, I'm really confused by how my mind works drunk.

If you ever get drunk and imagine me as a gun-toting cowboy, I won't judge. lol

This reminds me, I really do need to find a copy of the movie Ruggles of Red Gap ...

04/29/2013 at 08:33 AM

your not necessarily wrong, I ve met a tonne of stuffy English men! and If I get drunk I might imagine you as a cow with a laser penis....... classic. Try milking that!

Chris Yarger Community Manager

04/29/2013 at 08:15 AM

Manti T'eo.. He'll go great with my San Diego Charger's imaginary Super Bowl win. lol

04/29/2013 at 07:05 PM

I think he found those trophies while catfishing.

smartcelt

04/30/2013 at 09:27 AM

Did someone say rum? Where is it? Oh crap....too early in the AM and I'm now at work. Maybe later on. Microsoft is the evil overlord that we all love and revere. I think it will be okay.

04/30/2013 at 09:39 AM

No rum, but I did have fun the night (and morning) before I wrote this, I'll say that.

I would hope you're waiting to get off work to drink your rum, you've got an important job!

Once you get off work remember to treat yourself with some rum, you've got an important job!

05/01/2013 at 12:00 AM

I did find some rum,a little bit anyhow. This stuff called 10 Canes,really smooth and tasty too. My job does prevent me from becoming a lush. No way to keep up that nonsense with all the overtime I pull.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

05/01/2013 at 03:57 AM

You type well while intoxicated. How many did you have?

05/01/2013 at 04:08 AM

I can't remember exactly, but I was drinking since I got to the party at around 10:15pm, and didn't leave until like noon the next day. Key Stone, Jameson, Dos Equis. Also, other thing(s).

To be honest, by the time I wrote this I was probably sobering up, but I sure as hell wasn't planning on getting out of bed much that day. lol

PixlBit

Typing While Intoxicated

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