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Cary's Pretend Christmas Present Party 2020!


On 12/13/2020 at 08:59 PM by Cary Woodham

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Merry Christmas everybody!  We’re going to continue my tradition of having a pretend Christmas present party on my blog.  Here’s how it works.  In the comments section, you give me a pretend Christmas present.  It can be anything you want.  It won’t cost anything, and it’s the thought that counts…literally!  Then I’ll give you a pretend Christmas present when I reply.  It’s fun when it it’s fun.  And I’ve got some more Christmas presents for you all, too!  More recent game reviews I’ve written over at GamerDad.com.  Just what you’ve always wanted!  Please click on the links and read as many as you can and maybe even post a ‘like’ or comment or two.  I’d appreciate it.

I hope you all can participate in this silliness this year especially, as I could really use some cheering up right now.  Of course 2020 has been rough on all of us, with the pandemic, riots, politics, and more.  But I also just found out that my mom has breast cancer.  Granted it’s very small and the stage 1 type that’s easiest to treat.  But it’s still scary and 2020 can just go to hell as far as I’m concerned.  So please pray for her and also pray for me, too, because one thing I’ve learned about 2020 is that I don’t handle this kind of stuff very well.  Or at least not as well as what I’d like to.  Anyway, sorry to bring this blog down a bit.  Let’s get to the reviews.

Video Game Themed Hallmark Christmas Ornaments 2020

We’ll start out with something very Christmas-ey!  Hallmark always has a wide annual selection of new Christmas ornaments and series, and in the past few years they’ve even done video game related ones!  This year they had more than ever, and I got most of them, so I thought I’d share them with you here.  Most are from Nintendo games.  I took lots of pictures, so make sure to check them out!

Hot Wheels Unlimited (Mobile)

And what would Christmas be without toys?  So here are two toy related games.  First is Hot Wheels!  For generations, kids have played with Hot Wheels toy cars.  Heck, I certainly did back in the day.  Even now I’m really tempted to get those Mario Kart Hot Wheels, but I have to practice restraint and not do that.  Sucks being an adult sometimes!  Anyway, now there’s a Hot Wheels game for the younger fans called Hot Wheels Unlimited.  Build tracks and race on them in this free-to-play mobile game.

Funko Pop Blitz (Mobile)

Those big-headed, soulless black eyed Funko Pop figurines are EVERYWHERE!  And pretty much any movie, TV, comic book, even food commercial characters have their own figure.  I’ve tried to stay away from them, myself, since I’m already so bad with amiibo figures, but even I have a few of them.  I had to have all the Pac-Man ones, because you know I would.  Plus I’ve got a couple of other video game related ones I’ve found on sale.  And now there is a match three puzzle game on mobile devices featuring Funko Pop characters!  Which Funko Pop figures do you have?  Like I said, I have all the Pac-Man ones, but I actually got most of them with tickets at an arcade!  I also got some on sale, like one of Cammy and She-Hulk.  I also have one of the bunny eating pancakes from Wreck-it Ralph 2.  Recently I also got one of Shantae!

The Jackbox Party Pack 7 (PS4)

If you have a bunch of people over to play games during the holidays, but not enough controllers to play with everyone, then Jackbox has you covered!  Their latest batch of party games is out, and all you need are cell phones to play them!  Just connect to Jackbox.tv on any phone and enter in the room code and you’re in!  It’s pretty simple and works well, and in some games, even people who don’t have cell phones can be part of the audience and participate.  The Jackbox Party Pack 7 is available on most anything that can play games, but reviewed on PS4 here.  I like how the menu screen in this one looks like parade balloons, a perfect fit for the season.  Anyway, let’s take a look at all the games!

Wallachia: Reign of Terror (Switch)

Vlad the Impaler, otherwise known as Dracula, has torched your family home and kidnapped your brother.  You are a tough as nails female archer who now must exact revenge on Dracula in this 2-D side scrolling action game.  Wallachia: Reign of Dracula combines elements from classic 8- and 16-bit titles like Castlevania and Contra.  Your heroine in this game is way cooler than Simon Belmont from Castlevania, though.  Simon always controlled like he ate a big breakfast that morning, slowly lumbering around with a puny whip.  But this lady controls like she took her vitamins and ate a can of spinach that morning!  My kind of woman!  Only problem is the game is way too hard.

Flipon (Switch)

One of Nintendo’s best puzzle games is Puzzle League.  Originally called Panel de Pon and only released in Japan on the Super Famicom, it was later released in the US on the SNES under the name Tetris Attack (even though it has nothing to do with Tetris), and they replaced the fairy characters with Yoshi ones.  Later on the N64, it was rebranded Pokémon Puzzle League due to the popularity of the franchise.  And then on the DS it was just plain old Puzzle League.  Most recently, there was a version of it you could unlock in the Welcome Amiibo update on Animal Crossing: New Leaf (they should put it on New Horizons as well).  I’m surprised they haven’t made a Switch version of Puzzle League, although now you can play Panel de Pon on the SNES Virtual Console if you have an online account.  Anyway, at my old job, there was a plaque on the wall that read “If we don’t take care of the customer, someone else will” and that’s exactly what has happened here because Flipon is on the Switch), and it plays EXACTLY like Puzzle League.

One note about this game is that it’s VERY hard. I thought maybe I had gotten rusty, but I went back and played Panel de Pon on the Switch SNES Online service and I did just fine on that one.  But then I saw that Mario’s Picross was on the SNES list now, and I played that for far too long and was then tempted to try other SNES games on it, but I forced myself to stop.  Why are SNES games SO addictive to me?  I guess that’s why it’s my favorite game console!

Shoot 1UP DX (Switch)

Usually when you play a video game, like a 2-D shooter, when you get an extra life, it goes into reserve and you use it when you lose the ship you’re playing as.  But what if when you got 1ups, you’d use them all at the same time?  That’s what happens in Shoot 1UP DX, a classic styled (mostly) vertically scrolling 2-D shooter with a unique twist.   Really weird bosses, too, but you’ll just have to read the whole review to find out what they are!

Alpaca Ball All-Stars (Switch)

Play soccer with alpacas in this crazy sports multiplayer party game for Switch and PC (reviewed on Switch here).  It’s wacky and alpac-ey simple silly fun for all ages.

Tin & Kuna (PS4)

Kuna is a purple monkey…armadillo…thing, who can roll into a ball to get around.  He/She/It lives in a world full of floating islands and when the balance of the world is thrown off and evil emerges, it’s up to Kuna to save the day by…rolling little white balls into holes.  Tin & Kuna is a 3-D action puzzle platformer that combines elements of Marble Madness, Super Monkey Ball, and…golf?  I liked this game, but I lost interest in it pretty quickly because I just played so many games like this to death back in the GameCube/PS2 days.

Rusty Spout Rescue Adventure (Switch)

I’ve saved the worst for last.  One of my top three favorite puzzle games is Puzzle Bobble, also called Bust-A-Move in the US, although I prefer the former name.  My other two favorites are Super Puzzle Fighter 2 Turbo and plain ol’ Tetris.  Anyway, in Puzzle Bobble, you aim and fire colored bubbles to the top of the screen to match three or more so they’ll disappear.  If that sounds familiar, it’s because the game is also one of the most copied puzzlers on mobile devices.  Makes me wonder if Taito wishes they would’ve gotten a stricter copyright on their creation.  Anyway, while you see many imitators on mobile devices, you don’t really see any on consoles.  But now there is one with Rusty Spout Rescue Adventure.  Help the good pirate bird Rusty Spout stop the evil demon pirate from kidnapping children from Rusty’s home village…by popping bubbles.  Yeah these kinds of games really don’t need a story, do they?  This is one of the worst versions of this kind game I’ve ever played, though.

And that’s all for now!  Thanks for reading and posting comments, I do really appreciate it.  Merry Christmas, and don’t forget about those pretend presents and prayers!  Later!  --Cary


 

Comments

Matt Snee Staff Writer

12/14/2020 at 11:33 AM

Well, I've probably given you enough PAC-Man and Ulala gifts, so this year you're getting a life size, fully operational Burger Time level, so you can experience the thrills and dangers yourself. Just remember to bring your salt shaker! 

Cary Woodham

12/14/2020 at 09:51 PM

Thanks.  It's a pepper shaker, not a salt shaker, though.  Why do you think his name is Chef Peter Pepper, silly! :)  You know, when I was a kid, after I played BurgerTime in the arcade for the first time, when I got home I cut out a paper chef hat and pepper shaker and played 'pretend' BurgerTime around the house.

Your pretend present is a dinosaur from Dino Crisis that you can keep as a pet!  Who wouldn't want a pet dinosaur?

Matt Snee Staff Writer

12/15/2020 at 04:07 AM

As long as it doesn't eat me. Surprised

Cary Woodham

12/15/2020 at 08:18 AM

Just keep it well fed.  Go to PetsMart and stock up on Purina Dino Chow.

Matt Snee Staff Writer

12/14/2020 at 11:39 AM

Also, I'm very sorry for your mom. It sounds like it will be ok, but when you have cancer, it's always scary. My dad had chemo treatments last year for colon cancer, but now he's cancer free. I think the thing is, no matter how upsetting it is for you, remember to put her first. 

Cary Woodham

12/14/2020 at 09:53 PM

She is going to have her breasts removed, which will lessen the chance of the cancer coming back and she won't have to have chemo or radiation, so that's good.  Surgery's in mid-January, so thanks for all your prayers!

Super Step Contributing Writer

12/14/2020 at 06:50 PM

Wishing your mom a speedy recovery and my Christmas gift to you is a date with Jam from Guilty Gear at her restaurant for Chinese New Year. I hear she's got a gold Pac-Man arcade cabinet in there, too. 

Cary Woodham

12/14/2020 at 10:00 PM

One good thing about going out on a date with Jam, or any other fighting game lady, is that you don't have to worry about bad guys because she will beat them all up!

Jam is one of my favorite Guilty Gear characters, but I don't know why.  Other characters I like include Faust, because he has a bag over his head, May, because she fights with an anchor, I-No, because she has a cool hat, and Dizzy because her name is funny.  I can't think of any other characters right now.

Keeping with the Guilty Gear theme, your pretend present is backstage passes to one of I-No's rock concerts.  I'm assuming she has concerts, since she fights with a guitar.

Super Step Contributing Writer

12/15/2020 at 12:25 AM

I-No has a lot going on ... that whole series does, which is why the "Story mode" in Xrd is an eight-hour anime whackamole epic. lol

Cary Woodham

12/15/2020 at 08:20 AM

I just wonder how I-No is able to keep from falling out of her clothes...

I think I got a press release about there being a new Guilty Gear game coming out next year.  I wonder if I'll get to review it?  I have a pretty good relationship with Arc System Works and usually get to review most of their games.

Super Step Contributing Writer

12/16/2020 at 02:38 AM

Yes, Guilty Gear Strive. 

I hope you get a copy! I've seen some gameplay of it on YouTube, so there might be a beta version or some such already out. 

Cary Woodham

12/16/2020 at 01:06 PM

Yeah I just got another press release about the new Guilty Gear game this morning!  Looks like it comes out in April.  I've seen videos about it on YouTube, too. Maybe it's already out in Japan?

SanAndreas

12/14/2020 at 11:54 PM

Sorry to hear about your mom. Here's hoping she will have a speedy and complete recovery, and make sure you take care of yourself as well.

For Christmas, I'd give you one of those old Pac-Man candy mazes from the early 80s. My mom got me one when we were on my first car trip, from Arizona to San Diego, when I was 5. The Pac-Man candies were like SweeTarts or Smarties (the US version, not the UK kind that look like M&Ms).

Cary Woodham

12/15/2020 at 08:24 AM

I'm trying to remember if I ever had a Pac-Man candy maze as a kid.  Even as a kid, I never liked candy that much, so I doubt I did.

Your pretend present is one of Donkey Kong's barrels.  Barrels are kind of expensive in real life.  I've checked.

KnightDriver

12/15/2020 at 07:28 PM

My mom had a similar cancer scare but is clear of it now. Seems it just comes with old age. I wish her well. 

You get the Widowmaker (from Overwatch) action figure.

widowmaker

She's strong and will beat up all your enemies for you. You'll have to cook her meals and polish her weapons for her if you want to get in her good graces though. 

Cary Woodham

12/16/2020 at 01:12 PM

You know, even though games like Overwatch and Fortnite aren't my cup of tea, I have to say, they have a lot of cool and neat and interesting character designs.

So do you think I would pick Widowmaker as my favorite character in Overwatch?  You know what kinds of characters I usually like.

I could polish Widowmaker's weapons no problem, but I don't know what she eats.  I'll feed her lots and lots of spinach so she can be really strong!

YOUR pretend present is a real life farm, so you can play out all your Farm Together fantasies.  Oh boy, doesn't that sound fun.  What kinds of crops will you grow?  Grow me lots of spinach so I can feed Widowmaker!

KnightDriver

12/17/2020 at 09:30 PM

It'll be all spinach and vitamins. 

Cary Woodham

12/18/2020 at 08:31 PM

What're you trying to do?  Turn her into Super Strong Widowmaker?

(I'm ok with that)

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