Blake's Random Update

On 05/10/2013 at 10:50 AM by Blake Turner

So, tonight was shit. There was a new nightclub opening where I live, well, by new, I mean the only one. Having finished my music assignment early, I decided to head out. Two of my friends were already there, and had rung me up drunk telling me how great the place is, so I was genuinely excited. I got to there at quarter to 11, and it was full. Not only was it full, but the retards let too many people in, and with 30 people in front of us, 60 people would have to leave for us to get in. Oh, and this place closes at 3am. Fuck that. So after waiting there for close to an hour, we decided to go to our usual friday night place, but due to the other place opening, they were closed, as they didn't think they'd make any money. By the time we'd walked there and figured that out, all of the other venues weren't letting anyone in. So, I'm back here with you lovely people, as dry as a Muslim cunt and as bored King Robert was by that pig (GoT reference). Anyway, let's talk about games!

I've been playing two rather underrated RPG gems lately, both quite flawed but otherwise pretty darn great. Those games are Risen, and Two Worlds II. First, Risen.

Risen is a lot like the Gothic game, because, well it is a Gothic game. It's made by the guys who made Gothic and it steals the gameplay from Gothic. So essentially, it's Gothic 4. Now, I know what you're thinking: Blake, there already is a Gothic 4. How can this game be more Gothic than a Gothic game? Quite simply: Gothic 4 is a pile of shit. Actually, that's unfair. It reminds me of a humorless Fable that didn't get anally raped by Peter Molyneaux until it's soul and internal organs fell out of it's orifices, essentially making it a mere shell of it's former self.

Anyway, if you've played any of the Gothic games, apart from Gothic 4: The Version Your Mum Might Like, you'll know that this is a seriously hardcore RPG. You wake up, shipwrecked on an Island. The first thing you need to do is find a weapon. So you break off a branch of a tree. Then you find a retarded looking ostrich. Then it kills you. One thing I like about this game is that when you're killed by a carnivorous monster it eats you. When you're killed by a human, it robs you. It's a cool system that makes you feel like you're killed for a reason, instead of just because you're a twat and nobody likes you.

Once you respawn, you fight the fucker again. And you die. Again. Then you master the combat system, kill that mother fucker, jump up and down on it and say "HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW BITCH!" You then realise you aren't a member of NWA and attempt suicide because of your new found retardation. You fail, and get back to the game, using it as an escape from your meaningless existence.

So, the combat system. A lot of people dislike it, but I actually enjoy it. You have to block blows, and move about to actually get in a hit in. The AI recognises patterns too, so you have to constantly change things up. Another cool thing is that if you swing at the same time as the enemy, you're weapons will clash, and depending on who has the lighter weapon, or the higher dexterity, the AI will either swing again, you'll be able to get a strike in.

Now, I'm not that far in, but I'm already really enjoying this game. Word of warning, don't even think about buying the Xbox 360 version. It's an incredibly bad port. The texture qualite on xbox is PS1 level bad. I saw a review that showed a rock that had the texture so stretched, it looked like there were just fucking grey lines on a circle.

Well. I ranted a lot. I might talk about Two Worlds another time. It is a decent game though, and you should check it out.

leeradical42

05/10/2013 at 11:27 AM

Well Blake let me say if you were in Austin you woukd have been drunk cause 6th street never has thoughs kinds of issues, and back to gaming, i pkayed and beat Risen and lije you said it a little flawedbut a great game i did have fun with it now Two Worlds Two i have a great relationship with that game its flawed true but 1000 times better then that peice of crap two worlds was,but i really like Two Worlds Two of course it may take a month to beat and i also got the dlc the pirates of the flying Fortress which adds a pirate game to an already huge game. And by the way Risen 2Darkwaters got crappy reveiws but i really liked that one to at first its freaking hard but once you get levelef up its a good game to.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

05/10/2013 at 11:31 AM

If I'm ever in Austin, I'll keep that in mind! Yeah, I played Two Worlds 1 and was really disappointed with it, but I was recently told to play two worlds 2 and it is kind of awesome. I love the spell system especially, as there is so much customisation. I heard the combat in Risen was a piece of shite, but I might give it a go anyway.

05/10/2013 at 11:57 AM

Its just because its hard at first once you get through a few levels it starts getting good.

05/10/2013 at 10:42 PM

You've sold me good sir, I shall buy this game soon!

05/10/2013 at 11:04 PM

Oh and Joe was right Austins music scene is awesome the bars and clubs on 6th street are just a bonus lol

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/10/2013 at 11:51 AM

Well, leeradical42 has a point (http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/Americas-Drunkest-Cities/Austin-TX.php), although that's not the best of reasons to go there, I'd say the diversity of the place is a better reason to go, it is an awesome city. You can get drunk on most days in any U.S. city, especially ones with a nearby college, trust me. lol

Anyway, sounds like a fun game, now I'm going to check out this poorly textured rock review.

Angry Joe - Risen. He hated the game, but he played it on xbox.

Fair enough. I could usually get drunk here at my college, but everyone was out at the new nightclub. I went late because I had to finish an assignment first.

05/10/2013 at 12:33 PM

I haven't watched Angry Joe in a while. The fact he lives in Austin. TX kind of ties this all together, though. lol

05/10/2013 at 10:43 PM

Lol. I like him. He used to annoy me, but he's really grown on me.

asrealasitgets

05/10/2013 at 03:58 PM

I've played Two Worlds 2 and it is kind of awesome. I used ranged weopons a lot if I remember correctly.

05/10/2013 at 10:44 PM

I've been using magic, because that system rocks!

KnightDriver

05/10/2013 at 04:38 PM

Risen left me desperately poor, beaten up, and hopeless in Harbour Town. The police even took my weapon away!

Did you enjoy your despair though?

05/13/2013 at 12:38 AM

Yea, I kinda did.

05/10/2013 at 11:08 PM

The Risen games can be brutal lol but well worth the attempt and two worlds two magic in one hand and a sword in the other is rare for a rpg usually if your a magician you have to leave the swords alone but not in this game and your right the magic system does rock.

05/11/2013 at 02:45 AM

Risen is clawing it's way into being one of my favourite rpgs. It's sucked me in like cazy.

05/11/2013 at 06:27 AM

You know the funny thing about Risen is most people dont give it a chance, cause its starts very slow and kinda ho hum, but onece you get into it a bit it really gets goo, what i liked about it is the llittle details like cooking meat you get etc, not being able to walk into someones home without it ending badly lol, and thats how Risen two is, if you base the game on the first hour or so you think lame but stick with it and it rewards you good.oh and if you like two worlds two, get the dlc,pirates of the flying fortress it give you a pirate themed game and is very big and you get to sail around the rest if the world you couldnt visit before,ut may be pricey i think on the 360 i paid 3600 ms points, it may have dropped by now but totally worth it.

05/11/2013 at 06:33 PM

Yeah I bought the Two Worlds 2 collectors edition for 30 bucks and got that with it. Also picked up Risen 2. I shall finish the first one first though.

daftman

05/11/2013 at 12:25 AM

I see Two Worlds II every time I go to GameStop and have always wondered if it's any good. Hope you get around to writing that blog sooner or later.

05/11/2013 at 02:44 AM

It depends. It's very flawed, but it's also a really deep and engaging rpg. The magic system is great, as you can make your own spells out of cards and there are HUNDREDS of combinations. I prefer Risen, but it's pretty good on it's own right.

05/11/2013 at 06:32 AM

Its like Blake said it is a little flawed but if you can get passed the little hicups the gsme has it offers alot of cool things, and the update on the 360 anyway fixed alot of the bugs it had, and im sure by the tine three comes out it will be alot more stable of a game.

PixlBit