PixlBit

You’ve been duped!  You were expecting a review of the NES game, weren’t you?  This isn’t that.  No, wait, please don’t leave.  You know the Nintendo version of Bionic Commando is a classic, but you don’t know anything about the Gameboy version, do you?  This is a sad state of affairs for a purported expert of classic games, like yourself.  Well, this is a review for that version of the game, and hopefully you will learn something from this review.  But you probably won’t.

Extremely unrealistic depiction of the action in this game.

Bionic Commando for Gameboy feels like Bionic Commando for the NES.  I don’t know kind of reaction that evokes in you, but my response after playing the first two stages was roughly “Fuck yes!”  No, seriously, is there a game out there that needs true sequels more than Bionic Commando?  I just don’t get it- why aren’t more of these games?  BC: Rearmed was okay, but it gave me a hankering to play the 8-bit version.  Lalalalala I can’t hear you when you say there were a few sequels for the current generation consoles.

Bionic Commando for the NES is awesome; Bionic Commando for the Gameboy is awesome.  I only continue to mention the NES counterpart because the two games are very similar- you’d be forgiven after playing the first few levels for thinking that it was close to a direct port.  It’s not, but it’s pretty damn close.  The formats for many of the stages are taken directly from the NES game, and the story involves stopping some evil army from using the Albatross to destroy mankind.  Hitler is nowhere to be found in this version, having been replaced with some guy named Wiseman and his henchman, General Rile.  Not that you’ll care, as Bionic Commando’s story was always more laughably cheesy than compelling.  Actually, I did miss some of the more ridiculous Engrish errors found in the original’s dialogue, especially “This base will explod in 60 seconds.”  Classic.

So really, the only reason somebody might want to play the Gameboy version is because the action in the Nintendo version was so awesome.  Lucky for you that the amazing playability of the original is ported intact.  Rad Spencer, our hero in both games, actually moves faster than his NES counterpart, running back and forth with admirable speed.  He hasn’t yet learned to jump or climb over knee-high obstacles, but his bionic arm is as flexible and easy to use as ever.  Though the move-set is identical to what was available in the first game, the arm is quicker, granting increased maneuverability and access to tricks that may save a careless gamer’s life.   This is all pretty important, considering that the environments that Rad must navigate are much trickier this time around.

Look familiar?

There are many stages when you are forced to swing across wide expanses, clenching to a roof or rock that is the only thing preventing you from plummeting to your death below.  It isn’t like the Nintendo version, where there was usually some sort of floor below to stop your fall if you weren’t quick enough with the trigger finger.  After the first few stages, death will be a constant as you attempt to swing your arm frantically, hoping against hope that there is some far off platform you can clench to avoid falling into oblivion.  You will cringe as you attach yourself to some awkward, solitary rock face, losing forward momentum as the sensitive controls pull Rad vertically into a position where forward progress is impossible.  There are times when the game requires continuous Tarzan-swinging toward some unseen goal; no floor below, the next platform offscreen.  It can be a little frustrating, not knowing what lies ahead, and I wasted more than a few lives attempting to discern the layout of a level so that I might finally proceed.  But most of the time I didn’t care.  Swinging the Bionic Arm is a sort of gaming Nirvana in and of itself- freedom of movement allowing mastery of the environment that I don’t believe any other eight or four bit action game can match. 

So, again.  Why aren’t there more of these games?  I’m thinking hard- there is the NES game, and everyone in the universe loves it.  There is this Gameboy game- I don’t know how popular it was when it was first released, but it’s damn good in its own right.  I consider myself a guy who follows pretty much every single game that gets released across all platforms, and I forgot that this game even existed.  I knew there was a Bionic Commando: Elite Forces, which will obviously be the next game in the series that I will attempt.  That game got near uniform praise as well.  Then there was Rearmed, which was met with a high level of adoration from the critical masses.  The less said about that which came afterward, the better, but for a while there, the Bionic Commandos had a hell of a track record.

I’m still thinking hard.  What other games eschewed the standard jumping mechanic in favor of something like Bionic Commando’s swinging arm?  I can pretty much count them on one hand, and consider yourself an expert of worthless gaming trivia if you’ve heard of all of these games.

1) Miracle of Almana- a Konami game for the NES where you can only grapple diagonally.  Horrible controls pretty much ensured this game would not be translated for American audiences.

2) Faussete Amour- PC Engine game where the stiff heroine can get a boost to her jump with a grappling hook.  Nothing worth the time- a stiff and boring game.

3) Umihara Kawase- The best of the three; a SNES game about a girl who grapples around some surreal world, navigating maze-like levels and avoiding enemies.  Almost a puzzle game in its deliberateness.

Just wanted to add some color to this post..... Umihara Kawase- it's worth a try.

There are probably more.  I’m not counting Hook Champ and the like.  Console releases using the same or similar mechanics to Bionic Commando- were there any others?  I’d be interested to hear about the ones I missed.  And no counting Super Metroid, Magical Pop'n or other games where the grappling hook is a special item that is used only in particular instances.

It seems that most companies were scared or simply uninterested in creating something that went against the Mario-model of jump run jump.  Or maybe these companies just knew they couldn’t do it justice- nobody wanted to walk in Capcom’s mighty 8-bit shadow.  And I guess I don’t blame them- you have seen Capcom’s resume, haven’t you?  Seriously, list your ten favorite games from the 8-bit era, and I bet six of them are Capcom games.  Absence makes the heart go yonder, as they say, and the lack of Bionic Commando clones probably helps enhance the game’s legacy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOWzQICU2Cs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESVgil5LsJI

Oh, back to the review.  The music (some links above) in the game is awesome.  It remixes some of the NES favorites, but the new ones are pretty much just as rocking.  It’s a nice looking game, and it’s fun as hell.  The limited real estate of the Gameboy screen makes some blind leaps inevitable, but those are easy to ignore as you swing your way into gaming bliss.  Simply put, Bionic Commando is one of the best games on the entire system.

 OVERALL SCORE: (36/40) A Great One Here, One of the Best