dude I would totally watch this show. I'm kind of pissed actually I can't. Real TV sucks.
This would certainly be more interesting than my current lifestyle!
The Ben Show!: Better Than Big Bang Theory!
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 On 06/18/2013 at 06:05 PM by BrokenH See More From This User » |
Dear Entertainment Network, (This one is for you, Blake. Lulz!)
After watching Big Bang Theory it come to my attention you don’t know shit about geeks. This is why I’ve gathered archives & routines of my personal life to make into an ongoing TV show. Yes, it’s about time people know what it’s like for underprivileged low income nerds!
Characters
Ben
Ben lives in a small apartment on the second floor. When he’s not drawing almost naked women, diddling around in rpg maker, gaming, listening to Heavy Metal, and writing blogs he’s looking up heterosexual anal porn on Xhamster and cybering other guys who are pretending to be girls in “isexychat” under his id “Assman77”. Because Ben doesn’t have a car he walks everywhere and often gets mistaken as a hobo, retired wrestler, or a washed out musician! (Ben has long hair you see. He’s not a clean cut wanker in a suit! I swear you execs think all nerds look the same!) In general Ben is a “nice guy” but his odd behaviorisms, shitty low income, and silly quirks have doomed him into platonic friendships with all his female friends.
Alex
Alex is Ben’s more reasonable best buddy. In general Alex is better with money and even has “real women” visit him once in awhile. When Ben is being delusional, overdramatic, or being a complete dick-wad , Alex has clever sarcastic clips to put Ben in his place. Alex often fixes Ben’s computer because Ben is a technologically inept idiot! Let’s face it. Everyone watching the show will end up liking Alex more than Ben. It’s inevitable! (Both Alex & Ben get annoyed when people assume they’re gay just because they hang out a lot together. By the way, Alex has a beard! Would that make him “the bear” within this bromance? )
Kara
Kara is Ben’s social worker and is “totally hawt”. (In a modest nerdy kind of way) In general she checks up on him to be sure he’s paying his portion of the rent on time and to be sure he has not “gone emo” due to his bipolar disorder. Ben brings up things around Kara he wouldn’t normally bring up around the other characters. It’s through her you find out about his mom’s suicide and the period in his life he used to cut on himself. The audience will often think Ben & Kara should end up as a couple but the thing is Ben is too dysfunctional & introverted for that to happen. (Unlike the other characters based entirely on real people Kara is more or less made up with only partial traits relating to real people.) One of the biggest mysteries is what Kara is like outside of work. No one knows whether or not she’s a geek, a hippy, a club-chick, or a Goth.
Gavin
Gavin grew up in what everyone else considers a privileged family. However, his family has always been fighting their own debts and their celebrity house keeping service in “the islands” isn’t doing so well. (Apparently rich people can be stingy when it comes to paying off their hired help.) Sauntering from shitty job to shitty job, Gavin often has funny horror stories about where he works! Though Gavin is often drunk, at least he’s a happy drunk! Deep down Gavin has a heart of gold and is a bit more world-wise than he lets on. He also looks like a more heavy set David Borandez!
Wisdom
Wisdom Sky Star hates his namesake given to him by his hippy parents. Gavin’s best friend and also friends with Alex & Ben, Wisdom is the shortest amongst all of them. Winning phrases from Wisdom include “Silence, fools!” and “I despise you all!” His most prized heirloom is a pink shirt that reads “Real men wear pink.” In general Wisdom is there to take care of Gavin when his oafish yet lovable side kick has hit the alcohol a little bit too hard.
John
Ben’s dad who is dying of hepatitis which he contracted while visiting The Philippines and his “way too young” mail order bride girlfriend. When his stomach ulcer broke John was rushed to a Pilipino hospital and given a transfusion of bad blood. Since then John’s Pilipino wife has divorced him and he is often seen driving around in his black ford truck with his small chiwawa at his side. In one episode John visits Ben just to ask his son for a piece of his liver. Luckily, Ben was taking anti-depressant medications at that time so a “liver transplant” was out of the question. In general John is selfish, short sighted, and comes off as a braggart-know- it-all. He’s also a closet alcoholic and used to grow and sell marijuana.
Bartley
A “chubby rich brat” right out of college who used to table-top roleplay with Ben, Alex, Gavin, and Wisdom. Bartley always swore he was going to work for Lockheed Martin. (Apparently he is a huge aviation buff.) Additionally Bartley makes repulsive jokes about killing his own mother just to inherit her wealth and raping his younger teenaged sister. (Based on his twisted sense of humor Bartley also has a thing for underaged Asian prostitutes and moe lolicon.) Bartley would often give people rides, pick up munchies, and do other acts of pseudo kindness just so everyone would feel indebted to him. Needless to say, Ben and his friends ditched Bartley because he was a giant jerk-bag. An antagonist in the series, Bartley often flaunts having the newest game console or the newest “hip” tech device just to make his “ex friends” envious. If all this were not bad enough, he’s a total loot whore!
Matt Mackley
The “big cheese” in town, Matt Mackley is a “geek hipster with connections” who often organizes large events just to keep in everyone’s good graces. He has a long standing rivalry with Alex because they’re both “tech gurus”. Alex and Matt always seem to love opposing name brands thus this continues the heated contention between them. However, Matt still likes Alex, Ben, Gavin, and Wisdom because they’re his most loyal customers when it comes to his gaming & comics store!
Rob Mackley
Matt’s younger brother, Rob is a self labeled feminist. In general Rob loves to dig up the dirt on everyone else so he seems that much more impeccable by comparison. When Ben had an art booth at a comic con one year, Rob organized protesters against him. Some of the most memorable signs were “Eyes up here!”, “Big boobed misogyny” and “Put clothes on those poor objectified damsels!” Rob is often unaware he’s a big offender of “reverse sexism” through his fanatical white-knight ravings.
Sybil
Sybil used to be Rob’s girlfriend and a radical feminist. Before that she was a goth wiccan and before that she was a punker. The truth is Sybil is in a constant state of transitional flux. At times she’s been totally friendly towards Alex, Ben, Gavin, and Wisdom and at other moments she’s been a total bitch to them. It really all depends on her mood! Sybil said she broke up with Rob when he was against her exotic dancing career. Presently she’s romantically affiliated with Wisdom but who knows how long it’ll last. Flightiness aside, Sybil is a prodigy when it comes at the electric guitar and she’s not too shabby at videogames either. When around Ben she often teases him for his ass fetish, makes fun of his art, and calls him “Big Bird”. (Because he’s tall ) Beyond all the heckling, the two of them actually share a rather touching friendship. (A brother/sister bond if you will)
But hey, suffering is the best way to find comedy oftentimes. I could see an actual show like this being both funny and dramatic. Could really hook people.
But, I laugh about it later when I use the money I was going to spend on them on my next gaming purchase. Hell yeah! 
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