I dare to challenge that memes are never funny.
Dear Fanboys
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 On 02/25/2013 at 02:00 AM by Blake Turner See More From This User » |
This is an old blog that not many people read, and due to a certain argument I had recently, I feel I need to make these points again. Also, since DMC has already come out, I've reviewed it and it's fucking awesome, the point that was made in this blog is even more substantial. Anyway, just read it. Please?
A lot of my blogs on here are written to point out an issue, or to help procrastinate assignments and neglect the education I'm paying 15000 dollars for. Every so often however, I write something with one purpose: To piss off fanboys. This too serves a point, as fanboys are like an alcoholic's wife, in that even though their husband pisses away their money, neglects her interests and beats her repeatedly, she still loves him and sings his fucking praise down the street. They make up excuses, stating "It's ok, he's doing this because he lost his job" or "I must be the one in the wrong, since he'd never do anything to hurt me..."
It is important to realise, however, that while you may love your favourite game developer or console, that not everything they do needs defending. They've got people who write apology speeches for that. You're job is to buy their products, and hopefully enjoy them, and show them respect in the form of opening your wallet. However, when said developer fucks you over, or makes mistakes, it is important to point these out. It is important to request that nintendo make a new IP before I use mario's moustache to suffocate him, and it's important to tell Bethesda that they should treat all their customers with respect, not just the ones who take microsofts cock to the mouth every so often. Also, it's evil to sue indie companies for using a word, thus taking away free fucking speech. Are you going to sue the bakery down the street for selling cinamon scrolls Bethesda? Or what about every pc user ever for hitting scroll lock you evil fucks.
Anyway, I think you get the point. However, I will ask one thing: Play the fucking game before you judge it. Don't whinge because Dante looks different until you play it. Does his lack of hair throw his center of gravity off? Does all the My Chemical Romance he listens to cause him to give up and let enemies finish him off once and for all? Little things like that aren't anything to get up in arms about, especially when the game itself could still be orgasmically great. People whinged about David Tennant's Doctor Who when they first saw him, and guess what? He was fucking brilliant, so shut your festering gob you tit.
So in closing, fanboys: It's ok to admit that your favourite game has some flaws. I will: Dark Souls has a level called Blighttown which is the worst level in anything ever. Resident Evil 4 is one big fucking escort mission, and the person you're escorting is an autistic broom handle with legs; and STALKER needs to be modded to even be remotely playable. If you point out these flaws, you are not betraying your favourite gaming company, you are doing them a service. IF you keep lapping this shit up, they will keep pumping it out. However, it's also important not to judge things off a knee jerk reaction. Wait till you've experienced said problem first hand before you throw chainsaws at it. Oh and one more thing: Memes. Are. Not. And. Will. Never. Be. Funny. Stop saying I took an arrow the knee or I'll force you to take a bladed dildo the throat!
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