PixlBit

It was a hundred million degrees in my house this morning.  The humidity, more than the heat, kept me confined to the air conditioned study where my computer is.  As I finished up a manga review I had Giant Bomb open in the background and was planning on watching some content during lunch.

I've had a premium account since the day 1up closed, because I realized I should support the stuff I love more often.  And ever since 1up started to atrophy I found myself drawn more and more to Giant Bomb's video content.  I'd been listening to the podcast for at least two years regularly but probably three or four off and on.  It's been there to keep my sane at work, and I've become attached to the personalities of the guys that work there.

I can't help it.  DJs, website personalities, you get to know these people without knowing them.  It's not like actors, who only play a role.  When it's just people rambling into a mic hours on end I learned far more about them then I know about some close personal friends.

So I just happened to refresh Giant Bomb right as the story about Ryan Davis passing away over the Holiday hit.

You get than momentary shock.  "Is the site hacked?" Sure, that's got to be it.  They've had problems with that in the past.  It has to be hacked, right?  Why's my heart in the pit of my stomach...  stupid assholes. The dude just got married.  He can't be...  Is it up on neogaf yet?  Twitter?  It's a hack... right?

 

It wasn't a hack.

 

Then it was up on twitter.  

And neoGAF.  

And suddenly everyone knew.

I haven't gotten much work done today.  I keep thinking of his family, friends and coworkers.  Because us listeners are just shocked well-wishers who are angry at a world that takes away a human life just as it's hitting it's stride.

The dead can bury the dead.  Ryan won't know he's gone.  His friends though, how can the bombcrew go on?  They have to.

There was a line at the end of the Muppet special when Jim Henson passed away that was delivered by a distraught and pained Steve Whitmire, playing Kermit.  "Stay tuned for more...because that's the way the boss would want it."  I know it's the same for them.

Tragic horrible stupid stuff happens every day, and I feel stupid being sad that a man I never knew in person passed away.  I've seen other people mention they feel the same way, so at least I'm not alone in this weird sorrow.  I keep choking up thinking about it, about his wife, his friends.  All the well wishes in the world don't bring someone back, and only time dulls the pain.

It took me a long time to be able to watch episodes of Newsradio after Phil Hartman died.  Or any movie with Heath Ledger after he died.  I don't know when I'll be able to watch old quick looks or bombcast clips with Ryan again.  Someday...

 

Giant Bomb, I love you guys.  Take care of yourselves, all right?  All of us video game aficionados are there for you.

[Edit:  A little something that I'll miss.]