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Societal damage: What female gamers still go through.


On 02/27/2013 at 09:34 AM by BrokenH

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Sorry I didn’t make rounds yesterday. I was kind of in a rut and had to go grocery shopping. Beyond that, my cat is still in a fragile shaky state. I want to say he’s getting better but Alex still has to force feed him with a dropper syringe. We’ve also been doing steam treatments to help clear his sinuses. (For those not in the know, my kitty has been sick lately.)

"This bro so tired he picked up his shoe to answer when the phone rang! Wait, his shoe IS his phone. Ohhhh!"

Next up, I got a call that sat somewhere between late in the evening and early in the morning. My head was so filled with the fugue of fatigue at first I didn’t recognize the voice of a dear old friend I haven’t spoken with in awhile. Normally I’d just come out and say who it is but said friend has been going through difficult times so for the sake of conduct, I’m keeping her anonymous!

What she said was important in that “take pause and reflect on society as a whole” kind of way. I honestly don’t have many of those types of chats. Usually my friends and I simply geek out about comic books, discuss videogames, and tell stupid jokes. Yeah, we did that too but that’s not what was profound about our discussion.

Truth be told, I’m not a feminist. (Based on what limited knowledge I have of feminism. It's a rather diverse movement with countless fractions and sub categories!) At least to me it seems like only a woman can know how difficult it is to be a woman and what their own gender needs in order to be happy, productive, and safe. Yes, you can be a “bro” and pick up the mantle of feminism too but that still doesn’t mean you are closer to having a vagina whilst going through the wondrous yet painful process of child birth! Seriously, as guys there are some things we’ll never know about women. We can empathize but I don’t think we will ever fully understand. (And I’m sure women never will fully understand men either)

This train of thought actually started before my friend called. I was watching a you tube video of Raychul Moore’s. For those not in the know, she’s a gamer who is crazy in love with most rpgs. However, Ray drew flak for not loving Skyrim and not loving Dragon’s Dogma. It really pisses me off when gamers post vulgar insults at other gamers for not liking or hating the same games they like & hate. It’s time to come to grips with the fact we’re all unique. Why not just accept that person has a different opinion? But I digress. Raychul also gets the usual “Nice boobs!” and “You’re so pretty I’d rape you!” kind of comments too. I’m not quoting those replies word for word but they’re just as unsettling, immature, and creepy.

If you so happen to be a troll reading this from my 1up days or are a certain arch nemesis of mine with the initials B.M. you’re probably having a stroke! “Ben gets upset when real females in the gaming scene are treated like meat?! But I thought he was a raging MISOGYNIST who occasionally puts out illustrations of soft-core pornographic wank fantasy!”. What can I say? You can’t slap stereotypical labels on people and call it a day. As individuals we all have many layers. Shocking, right? I know! To quote Tenacious D, “I did not mean….to blow your mind!”

Anyway, back to my friend. As a long time gamer she’s entrenched neck deep in “the industry” herself.  Yet she’s been struggling. This wonderful person I know is smart and funny. She’s really sweet too. Thing is, guys cannot stop gawking at her long enough to acknowledge there’s anything more to her than her looks. Fellas (and lesbians), don’t get me wrong! I’m aroused by beautiful women too. I’d be the last bloke to judge someone over them briefly ogling at the metaphorical goddess in the room. Yet I do think when we’re in that mode we have to catch ourselves, breath deeply, and step back. That person wants to be loved for who they are on the inside too. That person has much more to give than their body. Believe me, I know it’s hard  to not eventually assign “wanna tap dat” designations to potential mates when biological cravings kick it into tenth gear but are we not human? Do we not pride ourselves on having more control than other animals?

This person has certainly been through the ringer. She’s had stalkers. She’s dealt with overly possessive abusive boyfriends. She’s even questioned her sexuality. (And who can blame her when men act like such piggish assholes!) If you think you’ve guessed who she is based on all this you’re probably still wrong because more women go through these kind of horror stories than  any of us care to admit. Heck, based on my description she could be your sister, your daughter,your mother, or even your wife.

A part of me cannot help but to feel dead inside when I’m faced with such ugly truths. We like to believe the gamer community is progressive yet how can it be when this shit happens under our noses? Yet before I blame a single niche, let me allude to the fact this a sociological problem that has deeper roots. It’s not limited to gamers and geeks. Men, children, and women are all marketed as products in one way or another. We see them in commercials. We see them in games. We see them in television. They are the ideal “poster-icons” who are either promoted as the American dream or as masturbatory porn.

 There is a part of the male psyche that hordes pretty things. We fear losing these pretty things so we put them on shelves or put them in cages. This is why we collect games, music cds, and dvds. Sadly, this mentality also occasionally applies to the women in our lives too. Unfortunately, what man cannot imprison forever he often tries to destroy.  

I know at least one female is reading this and is thinking “Um, this is all heartwarming and all Ben, but what about us gals who aren’t “beautiful”? What sage words would you depart to us?” To which I would reply “You are beautiful. And it’s a shame entertainment and the media has such a narrow perception of what beauty actually is.” You see, society has a funny way of tricking us and making us feel unworthy. There are so many attractive people who don’t see themselves that way because we are all bombarded with exaggerated and ridiculous imagery on a daily basis. We live in an age where a super model’s blemishes and imperfections can be brushed over using photo-shop. That’s the thing. “The pretty ones” are just like us. It’s just that’s not immediately apparent due to all of the hair gel, skin cream, and last minute photo edits!

Having stated all this, don’t expect me to be a messiah, okay? I am still going to be socially awkward and I’m still going to drool over my favorite comic book, video-game, and anime babes! However, I do accept “real women” deserve the same courtesy allotted to every other living organism. It’s not a crime to break out the porn or adjust the camera angle in Resident Evil 6 to get that perfect shot of Ada Wong’s “assets”. Be that as it may, we must realize a real female is not polygons and pixels. There’s a soul in there so we must adjust our behavior accordingly!


 

Comments

Matt Snee Staff Writer

02/27/2013 at 09:33 AM

hey BRoken, I clicked on this on Twitter, but I'm not seeing it in the main blog feed on Pixlbit.  IS this a draft?

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 09:35 AM

Thanks for bringing it up, Matt. It should be "live" now! Doh!

Matt Snee Staff Writer

02/27/2013 at 09:37 AM

no problem, man!

Ranger1

02/27/2013 at 09:47 AM

Funny you should post this today...I'll email you something later with relevence to your blog.

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 09:48 AM

No prob,Tam! I'll check my email soon!

Chris Yarger Community Manager

02/27/2013 at 09:57 AM

The problem with a lot of online communities is that woman are all judged and juggled the same. Court refused to play online with anyone except the people she knows (Or I know from my friend list) because of all of the perverted comments she would receive via voicechat and sms message on PS3 and XBL. It's a shame..

I know that I for one have quite a few 'gal pals' on my Online lists, and all of which I treat with the same respect I would expect back. Of course, there are 'jokes', but all within a set and unspoken boundry based around mutual respect and friendship.

Ranger1

02/27/2013 at 10:03 AM

I agree with Court. She should join GH and me some Friday night for some LBP.

Chris Yarger Community Manager

02/27/2013 at 10:07 AM

I see how it is.

Invite her.. Leave me hanging...

Thanks Tami!! lolSmile

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 11:11 AM

I've been guilty of "flirting" once in awhile but I quickly back off or change the topic if a female seems uncomfortable. I do that with guys too. (Not the flirting part but the changing of topics if something brought up offends them. If I was gay though I'd be such a man whore!)

I'm glad you and Courtney have a good circle of friends, Chris. Still, I feel bad she gets the usual "Nice tits,hurrrr!" nonsense.

FAF101

02/28/2013 at 10:13 PM

To Chris's comment I am actually still like that to this day. It has happened to me before and I was actually called a prepubecent boy, random dudes trying to hit on me with vulgar comments made me hate playing online by myself. I always needed someone I knew in the game with me to feel comfortable. And that made me really nervous about playing with new people. For example when I decided to play my frist xbox game with Chris I was so nervous because I kept wondering in the back of my mind is he going to be like those other guys I have tried to play games with before?? Even though he does not come across like that at all and I knew he was an awesome guy the little question just nagged me and made me super nervous. But I got over it. Chris if you read this I don't mean anything mean by it Friendship Hearts <3 <3!

Anyways I also agree with you about how people get so annoyed or angry that you don't like a game they like. That just bothers me when someone just blows a fuse over. Everyone has their own tastes and others just have to get over it, too bad for them cause the gaming community does not revolve around their world. 

BrokenH

03/01/2013 at 09:28 PM

You're safe with me, Ash. I know you have a BF and I have no desire to disrupt happy relationships in progress. lol. Incidentally other female friends of mine have been insulted via being called prepubescent boys as well. Guess that's a common one.

I also agree insulting someone based on their gaming tastes is kind of low. (However, I have been guilty of making snide remarks towards the gamers who only play COD & Madden. It was a moment of weakness, I swear!)

FAF101

03/02/2013 at 12:00 AM

Haha no worries Ben! I figured out anyone who I have added from 1Up/here has to be awesome and won't be jerks like some people are out there.

I actually have had a moment of weakness like that too! And it is actually about the same games haha XD but that was when I was less knowledgeable on gaming and figured that sports games and CoD were stupid. While compaired to now I just feel they are uninteresting games for me to play and let others have fun playing them instead.

BrokenH

03/02/2013 at 12:21 AM

Same here. Realistic military shooters and realistic sports games just don't light my fire. I think it's fine to like those games but I'd encourage any gamer into them to also broaden their horizons.

Chris Yarger Community Manager

03/06/2013 at 03:59 PM

I just lol'd at her wondering if I was a perv.

Thanks Ashley!

Joaquim Mira Media Manager

02/27/2013 at 09:58 AM

I have come to several conclusions in my life, and one fits this blog. Thousands of years of "civilization", and yet humans still remain unchanged in regards to social interactions. Only tools have gotten better. I'm not saying that there aren't small groups of humans that have decided to take the next step, but in the general viewpoint humanity has yet to take that next step.

I'm waiting. Patiently.

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 11:07 AM

Exactly. Sure, our technology has made phenomanal leaps but the way we treat each other? Not so much. But you're right, good people have taken the next step. I just wish they were more common.

Chunopo

02/27/2013 at 10:14 AM

Ah.... I'm still non the wiser, but then again I'm sure my wife would say the exact same thing about me, but she can't be right becuase...... I'm always right..... arn't I.........yes im sure of it. I think.

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 11:05 AM

I've created a world for myself where I'm always right too,Adam! It's a world of heavy metal majesty where I'm fed pizza and hamburgers by hawt love slaves yet I keep the figure of a Greek Adonis! I can also majestically shred on an electric guitar like you wouldn't believe! 

Townz90

02/27/2013 at 10:14 AM

I must say I have been guilty of this. Not in an open kind of "you've got nice tits, let me smash your back doors in" kind of way but in the way I percieve some woman. Especially an attractive woman walkigndown the street. I will happily view her as a sexual object and maybe that's just because other than looking at her across the street, I don't intend or hope to have any interaction with her, she's a stranger after all. In that regard I don't think female gamers are exclusiove of that kind of behaviour. This kind of mysoginism is rife across the whole male spectrum. We're regressive animals in that sense. I'll fight my animal nature but I can by no means make any promises. If it makes it any better that girl walking down the street I apologise for viewing you as a piece of meat...

Ranger1

02/27/2013 at 10:33 AM

There's a difference between admiring a beautiful woman and treating her like she's a piece of meat or like a sub-standard human being. So admire away and don't feel guilty!

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 11:02 AM

That's true there is a difference,Tam! I especially think after guys get to really know and befriend females it helps them see those women as valuable individuals. My relationships with females (including you) have helped me a lot as a developing human being. And yes, I appreciate you!

Townz90

02/27/2013 at 11:14 AM

I think the message of the blog got lost on me somewhere, I thought you were addressing our mentalities rather than actual coming on to and abusing a woman's sexuality. If that's the case I'm as sheepish and innocent as they come!

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 11:15 AM

It's not bad to have sexual fantasies about women we see, Townz. I just think when we're forced to interact with said women we should treat them with respect and kindness. It's okay if they're love-bots inside the harem of our minds but we should accept the "real them" are different people from their imagined facsimiles we fabricate in our spare time!

Townz90

02/27/2013 at 11:30 AM

Yeah I absolutely agree with you there. It's unfortunate that there are so many men who think they can treat women as such. Female gamers are susceptible more so because especially online they are more likely dealing with adolescents and immature people who are shielded behind a computer and anonymous identity, that's who I feel the main culprits are. I have a feeling you are talking about mature men who should know better though?

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 02:24 PM

Anonymity is the culprit for a lot of bad behavior. What's kind of sad is that type of attitude can come from adults as often as it comes from adolescent boys! But hey, it's not all doom & gloom. I've met wonderful people of both genders! We just got to keep pushing forward,bro!

smartcelt

02/27/2013 at 11:09 AM

It is truly shameful some of the nonsense Raychul has to endure. She was one of my 1up friends as well and she was always so nice. I think she is one of the most knowledgable women around when it comes to games. Just because she is very pretty is no reason to assume her opinions are a bunch of fluff. But it is a fact that there are a lot of Neanderthals out there trying to drag themselves into the modern age. It must get really old for her at times,though.

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 11:18 AM

Ray often used a Cammy avatar I think. I believe it's one of her favorite characters! It is too bad she puts up with that crap but at least she has not let it stop her. I'd advise females to "Never shut up & never give up" when it comes to dealing with trolls.

ActivisionStoleMy360

02/27/2013 at 11:49 AM

Gaming culture is what you make of it. Before its "mainstream" debute, it was mostly a culture of the nerdier varaiety, the people who were exceptional with computers who built power rigs on the weekends to go to LAN parties and socialize with other nerds!..Those were the days! 

And to be fair, back then, gamer girls were like finding diamonds in your backyard (if you lived Nevada) so pretty rare to non-existant. Usually when they cropped up, they were simply assimilated because as nerds we were accepting of other nerds (because no one else accepted us). Today, its not the same, when everything went mainstream, this invited a level of immaturnity to the party! a lack of tech and gamer sophistication that really shows itself (play CoD for 1 hour, I promise you can't miss what I'm talking about).

The issues here is that with the mainstream gaming co-mingling with what we enjoy, you will get the people with little to no maturity, the people who hoot and hollar at girls on the streets will be in your game lobbies doing all the creepy things they do in life. That is the price we pay for being in the mainstream. 

If you want a good example of this...go to "askmen.com" and see what kind of things they talk about there..then associate that with IGN and 1up.com...That should be conclusive enough to see what it means to be in the "Mainstream," and why small tight knit gaming communities mean so much to those in them...With our communities, we are able to control the level of mainstream we endure, and we are able to keep that level of maturity and sophistication! 

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 02:29 PM

Gaming does seem to be treated as a VIP club, Matt. I've noticed females with "gamer or geek cred" will get grilled alive if they're proven incorrect over select tidbits of nonsensical trivia. Heck, it's happened to me too. I remember some nerds got pissed when I kept referring to Ridley Scott's Xenomorphs as "aliens". It's as if not knowing their real designation was a hangable offense!

I admire the passion of gamers and geeks but I swear we RAGE over the stupidest crap sometimes!

But you're right. Old school geeks seemed more accepting! We didn't sweat the small details. We were happy as clams if our girlfriends so much as watched Star Trek or Star Wars with us. (Even if they didn't know every character and location by name)

ActivisionStoleMy360

02/27/2013 at 02:34 PM

Its being a geek though! Its like people who are really really knowledgable about baseball, or any sport for that matter. Its a capital offense to misquote their stats or fudge their name! I guess thats just the way it goes. On that same token though, girls who join the club of geek/nerd will get equal treatment for being wrong! (unless said geek or nerd is afraid of girls, in which case said offense will go on unchallenged). Its why, in geek company, I do not refer to Star Trek or Star Wars (like in good company you're not supposed to talk about religion or politics :p ). It is just the way of things, but I mean, at the end most are friendly, and socially off, but thats just geeky culture for you.

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 02:40 PM

It's true both guys and girls get roasted for getting geek trivia wrong. You're also correct our passion sort of makes it where it cannot be helped. lol. However, I think females tend to get grilled for it harder than we do. Aka, if they mess up enough we start to think they're fake and just trying to get attention. Though I've been wrong about many geek topics, my geek brethren never once accused me of being "fake". Certainly they rub a bit of salt into my wounds but I was still considered "one of them" so to speak.

It's complicated,yo! I definitely don't have all the answers,Matt. lol. I'm a work in progress!

Machocruz

02/27/2013 at 02:47 PM

All I can tell people is to stay off that in-game chat shit. Unless it's among friends, nothing good can come of it.  There is really no need to interact vocally with strangers in 99% of all video games ever made.  I think the first ARMA game is the only time I willingly used mic and headset, and that's only because the game is serioulsy tactical and lethal.

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 03:04 PM

In game chat is at least good for friendship. For romance? I just don't know,Chris. I'm sure there are some beautiful love stories that started when a guy & a girl began playing WOW, Halo, or COD together but I wouldn't call that the norm. (Maybe I'm just cynical?)

ActivisionStoleMy360

02/27/2013 at 03:10 PM

I know a WoW story that started with a chance meeting in WoW and ended with an accidental pregnancy...ya those 2 were pretty messed up individuals *face palm* I still don't understand what they saw in each other...I was just sorta glad they didn't see it in anyone else lol

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 03:16 PM

Oh, the stories we gamers can tell! Epically messed up stuff,bros! That's why I like watching The Guild. It portrays gamers as lovable nice people yet shows how screwed up we can be too. I personally can relate! (thumbs up)

SanAndreas

02/27/2013 at 09:05 PM

Gotta love the Internet's power to let anyone act like as much of an a$$wipe as they want with impunity, whether it's your whacked-out political views and prejudices or telling some anonymous female stranger exactly what you want to do with her! I'm with Macho. I don't use the headset unless I'm talking to people I know and like. I used to use headsets in public matches but got tired of all the nastiness coming from 20-something morons. And when you consider that most games only let you communicate with people on your team, that just reinforces the old saying, "With friends like this, who needs enemies?"

BrokenH

02/28/2013 at 09:54 AM

I was lucky on the 360 over all. Most of the people I talk to are really nice. However, I remember being amongst a few "competitive gamers" who got too salty over the smallest things. The team couldn't make it to wave 50 in horde mode? RAGE! They couldn't get their trophy? RAGE! We lost against the other team? RAGE!

I don't want to say anything bad about competitive gamers but I really cannot understand taking gaming so seriously. It's at that point a fun hobby becomes "work" and that's not what I want.

Aboboisdaman

02/27/2013 at 06:19 PM

I don't blame Raychul for not loving Skyrim. The Elder Scrolls games are overrated. They are all basicly the same thing. I love them, but after about 30 hours of Skyrim, I lost interest in it. Damn trolls!

I guess since she's a girl she faces more criticism from her opinions? Undecided

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 06:41 PM

I would say Skyrim is overrated too but honestly I've only played Oblivion and Morrowind. I can say that much akin to Raychul I haven't been as "enchanted with elder-scrolls" as most of my gaming buds. Different strokes for different folks,Aaron!

Super Step Contributing Writer

02/27/2013 at 06:21 PM

I'm just going to say I don't think it's exclusive to the gaming community (lots of female movie reviewers get this "nice tits" crap in online threads, one, Christy Lemire of AP and RT, received death threats from people cause she didn't like Dark Knight Rises), and that's unfortunate.

Interesting my ex girlfriend would post on facebook today about the dfference between finding someone cute and liking them. lol

BrokenH

02/27/2013 at 06:33 PM

It's true, Joe. I think it's a deeply rooted societal problem not specific to the geek/gaming realm. I also never stop to be amazed and dumbfounded by the tards sending death threats via keyboard! Internet tough guys to be sure! (sarcasm)

As for your ex, I don't think I know her. Then again, it's a small world and stranger coincidences have happened. However, I doubt your ex would describe you as "abusive" and "stalkerish". You don't seem to fit that profile.

Super Step Contributing Writer

02/27/2013 at 10:15 PM

Oh no, you wouldn't. Sorry, I have a separate account for personal life on facebook than the one I use to talk to 1uppers; it's not a slight against you guys, I just tend to post different things on each, so I keep them separate.

To be honest, the death threats didn't seem serious to me, but I understood the actions RottenTomatoes.com took, as it's a serious thing, regardless.

Oh, and, this blog was mentioned on that PB & Jason podcast on the front page ... I could have misheard, but you might want to clarify your sex, I think he thought you were a "she." lol

BrokenH

02/28/2013 at 10:22 AM

Actually that's smart,Joe! I probably should have created two separate accounts too but so many people know me it would be too easy for them to connect the dots at this point. Actually, I did make a separate account on FB but it was kind of forced on me. My first account got hacked temporarily so I had to make a back up. Weirdest stuff ever!

I don't take that personally, by the way. It's fine to keep some things private. Heck, we all do that to some extent!

I was mentioned in a podcast? They thought I was female too? Heh, I'm actually strangely flattered by that. lol. Still, I'll bring it up to them. lol.

Super Step Contributing Writer

03/02/2013 at 12:38 AM

Whenever my facebook was "hacked," it was just fellow staffers posting vulgar statements about me when I forgot I was logged in and they took advantage. lol

Sorry you had to make a whole new account, though.

Justin Matkowski Staff Alumnus

02/27/2013 at 11:57 PM

This blog is great because it addresses the issues in a human, rational way, especially taking into account our animal sexuality but the fact that we have an intellect to carry ourselves and treat others with respect. It's something that boggles my mind - a million years of evolution, and some people still lack self control, common sense, or respect so as to not verbally rape a girl just because she happens to be attractive and sharing a physical or digital space. Our brains are the reason we as a species survived, and it's time we start utilizing them in social situations more.

And you are absolutely right about an airbrushed culture's influence effecting people's self esteem in a negative way. The funny thing is, I truly believe there is something in the human brain that knows something is wrong with manipulated images of humans when we view them. Nature is assymetrical; trees have knots, rocks have scuffs, and the little wears and knicks in things make them beautiful, and that holds true for people as well.

Also, anyone who would threaten someone because of their entertainment preferences is a goblin who is in dire need of reevalutating their priorities in life.

BrokenH

02/28/2013 at 10:04 AM

Most air brushed photos have a whiff of uncanny valley. Aka, "Man, this looks so real....but not completely real!"  It's the same equivalent of looking at an android I imagine. lol.

As for biology, we all have to deal with it and I certainly notice women I find attractive. However, I'm not the type of guy to do those loud annoying whistles or who makes lewd gestures when behind a female in the check out line. Sure, maybe a few women like the whole jerk approach on some sort of weird evolutionary-backwards level but that's not me.

I'm a pervert but I'm nice about it. lol. As for threatening or insulting other gamers because they have different preferences yeah, that's lame. Those people ARE goblins.

jcal94

02/28/2013 at 02:58 AM

Ben, I don't have too much to say on this topic, mostly because I've been raised to treat women right and to only associate with other decent fellows. All the girls I know are either from my church, where all us guys make sure nothing happens to them, or from my guy friends. So really, I can't give much opinion on the prejudice women face.

I can say this though. I hate how the media demoralizes women so much these days. Nowadays, you need to be like, a size 2 or whatever to be "average". It makes life so much harder on regular women, especially teen girls, who think they're fat because society idolizes the skeletons. Heck, my girlfriend is 130lbs and skinny. Even double-checking my profile pic to make sure, she isn't fat. She's just tall and has curves, but isn't a skeleton. But what do I hear so often from her? That she feels fat, or looks fat, etc. This terrible society we live in (for all the "progress" we make, we really actually get worse) makes women think that being a twig is what makes you beautiful.

In fact, weight shouldn't matter at all. All we should care about, as humans as a whole, is if we are obese to an unhealthy extent. Back to my girlfriend quickly here. I'm only 115 lbs, 5'6". Same height as her. But she's 15 "heavier". This too makes her feel terrible, because once again, of society. Society seems to think everyone shares the same body and body type, and it's just our choices that make us our weight. As you know, I've had some serious sickness in the past few years. Because of it, I'm now missing three organs, and most likely have some bone damage (such as maybe a little hollow spot here or there. Either way, they're very thin, but keep themselves together). If I didn't have all that, I'd most likely easily be at least 130lbs also. But, because I went through hell and back: almost dieing, a couple years of continuous internal bleeding, being one of those aforementioned "skeletons", and intense pain, I now have the "perfect body" weight-wise. There's a lot of people I know that are jealous of my weight. I wouldn't wish for anyone to be my weight with my height, because it is really hard on the body. But, because of society, the fact that I literally can NOT gain weight through food makes my case "dream-like".

When you spend long enough being extremely skinny, whether you're male or female, you eventually tire of it (both mentally and physically), and just wish you could be "fat" like everyone else, when in reality, it's wishing to just be a regular human. You know the language I normally use in comments and blogs Ben, so when I say that society sucks big, fat, hairy, rotting donkey balls, you know it's bad.

Great blog though! Cool

BrokenH

02/28/2013 at 10:11 AM

Dude, I'm so with you. The first woman I ever loved was voloptous and had curves. I thought she was friggin gorgeous but I'm sure she felt pressured by the media & entertainment industry to some extent. I've seen some gorgeous women flat out tell me they're "fat" and it really breaks my heart.

Not everyone should be a size 2. Sure, for women already lithe and short that's fine. But not every human being is short and lithe. If I was a size 2 I'd be in seriously screwed up shape. My muscles would be so deteriorated I probably couldn't move at that point. lol.

smartcelt

02/28/2013 at 02:49 PM

Machocruz brought up a great point. The sexist,racist crap that passes for chat on XBOX Live is astoundingly awful. I understand that a lot of these gamers are very young,and a bit immature. But that is no excuse for having a swastika as your emblem on COD:BO2. Been seeing that frequently these days. I'm not even Jewish and I find it horribly offensive. And then any time a female gamer enter a match guys either insult her or try lame lines on her. It's pathetic and ruins the experience for everyone involved.

BrokenH

02/28/2013 at 03:34 PM

I count myself blessed. The reason? Probably because most of my Xbox live friends are my 1up/pixlbit friends. I'm kind of naive to that world of racist/homophobic/sexist bullshit. The worst that's happened to me is getting chewed out for supposedly not pulling my weight during horde mode. All things considered that's "mild sauce"! Still, even the most competitive hardcore gamers I played with had tact. Certainly we'd tell dirty jokes but only because we knew amongst each other no one would take it the wrong way. Aka, we didn't go out of our way to make other gamers feel unwelcomed. Our context wasn't to "grief".

ActivisionStoleMy360

02/28/2013 at 02:55 PM

I'm sorry, I mean i've seen some beautiful women in my days (was a Pi Kappa Phi fraternity member), lots of beautiful, societally conformed women....when they opened their mouth I had to walk away...Maybe it's something to do with me, but I can't stand a ditsy person or someone who acts dumb to get attention! it bugs me!

Morale of the story? be yourself! don't try to be something for anyone else or act a way to attract attention..and for the love of God, the Jersery Shore, Buckwild etc.. dumb shows are not the way to sort out what society deems as "pretty." 

If there was justice in the universe, space junk would land where they were filming that trash..

BrokenH

02/28/2013 at 03:41 PM

Ditzy women don't do it for me either, Matt. I mean, what are you gonna talk about with them when not having sex? I need more things in a relationship to stimulate me than what is in the bedroom. I find that I want a "friend" and not just a lover out of a woman. I tried the whole "sex without really knowing the other person well" shuffle once and it fell apart on me big time. 

I'm not saying randomized fast sex is an immoral sin but it takes a certain kind of mentality to pull it off. I just don't have the juice! No Sex-God here!

ActivisionStoleMy360

02/28/2013 at 03:44 PM

Its not that...Its just that people like that annoy me way to quickly...idk, something about when they talk, you can tell its fake or purposely that way! but ya, our "culture" as we see it, really needs help....

BrokenH

02/28/2013 at 06:53 PM

I get ya. Aka, when potentially smart females act "dumb". lol. I've seen it happen but once again, I can't understand it. Snookie doesn't do it for me,mang!

I'm actually more turned on when a female can hold a decent conversation. I also have a glasses fetish. Seriously, some women look great wearing glasses. Maybe that's playing into my sexy teacher/ sexy librarian fetish?

Machocruz

03/01/2013 at 02:29 PM

I think the type of women ActivisionStoleMy360 is talking about aren't really smart. They're "educated" but utterly vapid, the waters run shallow when it comes to atypical thinking. They do everything right according to the status quo which, along with being attractive, opens up doors for them, makes them accepted and seen as really together, but it's all rote.  Smile at the right time, nod their head at the right time, say the right things in the right tone of voice (all these girls have the same speech patterns ), have the right opinions, listen to the right music, watch the right shows, etc. Conform in every aspect.

 

 Well, that's my interpretation at least.

BrokenH

03/01/2013 at 08:18 PM

You're probably right Chris, thanks for clarifying. lol. In my college days I did know quite a few college girls who were "educated" but not exactly deep or smart. There is a big difference there. Luckily in college I also got to know many females who were in fact deep & smart so at least that balanced out to a degree!

Jamie Alston Staff Writer

03/01/2013 at 05:51 PM

I gotta hand it to you man-- you know how to get people talking.  Great article.

There is much I could say on this matter, but I'll to keep it short:

There's obviously quite a few layers that factor into why there's so much idiocy directed at lots of lady gamers out there.  On the one hand, I think it has a lot do with what you and several others mentioned already about how the "ideal" man or woman is defined in the eyes of the entertainment and commercial industry.  They dictate how we should look, how much we should weigh, what clothes to wear, so on and so forth.  For men, we're taught that a real man doesn't really need to put in much effort in getting to know that big-breasted-yet-perfectly-curved lady he's staring down across the room in the Porsche dealership (because being able to afford one is the only indication of success and self-worth).  Nope, all he needs to is say some smarmy sexual one-liner, and *BAM*, they're in the sack together 30 minutes later.

One the other hand, you have the fact that, prior to the late 90's, gaming used to be always assumed to be a pastime that only male "nerds" or otherwise socially undesirable people played.  The only imagery of a girl playing video games usually involved coke-bottle glasses, braces, and pigtails...which was totally okay so long as the girl didn't look anywhere near the shallow definition of physical attractiveness.

But thanks to ploys like those famous E3 "Booth Babes" pushing games more and into the mainstream, suddenly sex and "beauty" spontaneously became apart of a gaming industry that just a while ago was looked down by "beautiful people". 

I could go on and on about this, but I gotta get some dinner.  But like I said, great article.  Really enjoyed reading everyone's comments on here too.

BrokenH

03/01/2013 at 08:30 PM

Ah, coke bottle glasses and braces are fine by me,Jamie. If every woman looked the same my life would have no luster at all!

But I get what you're saying about the "car dealership ploy". Suddenly we started to see the attempt to push gaming into the mainstream with handsome hipster nerds and super model bombshells. On one hand, some of those aforementioned people probably are sincere. Just because someone is physically appealing it doesn't automatically make them "fake". However, there have been "fakers" so this creates an ugly scenario where gamers and geeks are asked to prove their credentials more often. (And females get this pushed onto them more harshly than we do I think.)

Regardless, thank you ever so much for reading Jamie! You're the man,sir!

Coolsetzer

03/01/2013 at 09:11 PM

Very cool read. I think it's terrible that kind of behavior is still around. I myself have always respected women. In my opinion, they just want to be accepted like everyone else. The sexual object thing comes into play because women try their best to look attractive and desired, and men think that they can get a hook up somehow. Guys, just give it a rest! Stop that, because chances are, you are not their type and will never be. They are our gamer Sisters, and should be treated with kindness. Those people need to stop projecting their inadequacies onto others.

BrokenH

03/02/2013 at 12:10 AM

It is unfortunate said behavior still exists. I wouldn't say I've always been "graceful" around female gamers but even when I fumbled the ball, I didn't mean them any harm.

Some guys get so angry they troll women with death and rape threats and that isn't acceptable. Yeah, they're just words on a screen but words still effect people. This whole "Why so serious! You mad,bro?!" mentality should die out. There's a difference between joking around and really going out of the way to hurt someone's feelings. (Or trying to outright shut them up and make them leave a community)

smartcelt

03/03/2013 at 12:34 AM

Rangergirl put up a great blog about how she has been treated before. Made me think about how it is tougher for women. Women like Raychul as well. I'm sure she get's that a lot. People must assume she is doing it to get noticed or because she wants to become an actress. But she just loves games! And reviewing and talking about them. There is the opposite,though. I've heard women say things like " I would never date a guy who plays video games. It's childish and immature. Besides,he should be focused on me. Making me happy! I have needs that need to be taken care of. "  And these were not very bright ladies,either. Their stuff is okay,but men's stuff is for stupid pigs! 

BrokenH

03/06/2013 at 03:54 PM

It is strange it's okay for females to like games but when guys do it's brought up as a demerit. (At least when brought up in public) Personally, I believe there is a "zen flow" to it all. Aka, a guy can make his woman happy & play games. I don't understand how one necessarily cancels out the other.

These women ragging on men for liking video games seem to have an archaic outlook on things. Did they say the same thing about guys liking model cars or guys who read books? What self absorbed rubbish!

However, it is a same female gamers have to put up with more shit just to prove themselves within the community. Back in the day when I was a teenager I would have been super nice to any girl expressing an interest in gaming. It's not as if I'm happy with a 100% sausage fest!

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