LOL. And I still like you, even if you are one of them.
Who do I blame for 1up.com's closure
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 On 02/27/2013 at 11:25 PM by NSonic79 See More From This User » |
As I’m sure many others have done before, I’m slowly coming to terms with the loss of a site I’ve frequented for a little over six years. And as expected I’m showing the steps of loss. Sadness has come and gone and now it’s time to play the blame game. Of course we all know the reasons why 1up.com is shutting down, but that’s not stopping me in finding a few more scapegoats to throw under the bus.
Former President George W. Bush
Well we did “inherit” the mess he made over the last two terms. He’s been blamed for the economy and the two wars he started. Why not blame him for 1up.com’s closure as well, he’s pretty much to blame for everything these days…
President Barack Hussein Obama
1up.com doesn’t give us much HOPE for the future of other gaming related websites but I do have to say this is indeed a CHANGE for all of us gamers out there. And given all the changes he’s trying to do I would not be shocked if 1up.com was cut because it had the misfortune to be owned by News Corp for a time…
Global Warming
Who knows how much of a carbon foot print 1up.com’s data servers are leaving on the environment. Trying to keep the juice running to store, cool and keep the servers maintained must be taking their toll on the local area from which they are housed. We need to manage our resources better for more important sites like askmen, various porn sites and all those youtube videos about cats…
Sequestration
To date congress and the president have yet to come to a deal on MAJOR budget cuts that are supposed to lead us back into the stone age. Perhaps 1up.com was meant as the “sacrificial lamb” to help appease the budget gods to ensure that reason and common sense could make a glorious return in Washington, and a deal could be reached by Friday. So far it seems that hasn’t worked….
Gay Marriage
Okay I got nothing on this one but this one sounds like a good scapegoat to pin the blame on 1up.com’s closure. We’re still waiting for the fall of traditional values and the “Gay Marriage Armageddon” to begin as more and more states allow gay marriage. So far the world hasn’t ended yet and maybe 1up.com’s loss can be attributed to this…
Gun Control advocates
Video games have guns in them. People are against guns. 1up.com had yet to form an opinion on the matter so in the eyes of the government (and gun rights advocates) no opinion means 1up.com was for less gun control. So we better shut down that website before it becomes a bastion for pro-guns individuals who happen to play video games.
Pot legalized in Washington and Colorado
I can see it now! Two powerful people brainstorm at an undisclosed location: Those freaky deaky, anarchist, pot heads got that law passed in two states! The HORROR! What are we going to do? I know! Pot heads like playing video games right? Let’s get rid of one of their videogame websites and show them who’s boss! But which website? Oh I don’t know, let’s google "#1 videogame website" and see what pops up...
The Eurozone debt crisis
I’m sure there were some fancy, rich investors that put their money in sites like 1up.com. And I’m sure they also pulled their money out of the market once the debt crisis continued to stretch on month after month. Where do you think the money comes from for the big companies who own, run and maintain sites like these…
Chinese Hackers
It's now come to light that the lastest hacker attacks against the US have originated somewhere in China, presumed to be by the military. Well no duh! 1up.com has been fighting spam bloggers for years! Even now the site is being bombared by many spam blogs. I'm sure this is yet another tool in China's arsenal against America! Spam blogs are just the first assault and sadly 1up.com is the first casulaty in this new "cyber war".
President Barack Hussein Obama, again…
What? I’m a republican. I’m supposed to blame him for all the nation’s troubles right now. Also I’m supposed to call him a closet Muslim, a socialist, an imperialistic president and the enemy of gun owners and those of faith everywhere. Might as well blame him for shutting down a gaming website…
I think that covers the most (obvious) reasons as to why 1up.com is shutting down (besides the real reason of course). Let me know if I missed something.
Ta-ta
“N”
If 1up.com's gotta go, let it go out with a song!
Join me won't you in the countdown....to INSANITY!
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