Blake's Random Opinions.

On 09/27/2013 at 10:59 AM by Blake Turner

Hi I'm Blake, and I have some opinions for you.

Always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.

The Beatles were bigger than Jesus. This is not disputable. Jesus was 5"2. Fuck, I'm bigger than jesus and I'm a short cunt.

The word cunt is perfectly acceptable to say at church.

We should have midgets at the zoo.

Penguins should have the right to carry guns. Also, I think it's great that they can't fly. They are too short to be pilots.

"Everything is bigger in America." The average penis size there is 5.5 inches. The average penis size here is 6-7. Suck it.

African Americans Are friends, not food.

Bricks are bad for your teeth.

Giving Sharks lazers is cruel. They already have an image problem, why amplify that?

Games should have to register to the government. That way we can see who keeps buying Naughty Bear games and allowing it to get a sequel.

I liked Dexter before it was cool. When he was an underground scientist.

Masturbation is an adequate substitute for cardio.

Cardio is not an adequate substitute for masturbation.

Marijuana is better for you than alcohol. I've never been in a fight with a stoned person, but if I ever do it will be hilarious.

There. Those are my opinions. If you have any, I don't care. Please die.

Matt Snee Staff Writer

09/27/2013 at 11:13 AM

I've known a few angry stoners. Shit is wack.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

09/27/2013 at 11:36 AM

So have I. But even when my brother is angry when high, he's too lazy to try anything.

leeradical42

09/27/2013 at 11:20 AM

Wow man thats groovy peace pot and microdot man heavy lol!!

09/27/2013 at 11:37 AM

Weed makes for the best comments...

09/27/2013 at 11:48 AM

Lol well I dont smoke anymore but boy back in the day ha ha!!

09/27/2013 at 11:55 AM

Yeah I gave up early in the yeah. I used to smoke a decent amount, but it didn't do great things for my depression. The high was good, the comedown was a bitch. In the end, though, it was money that stopped me. That and the fact that if you got caught with it on college you got kicked out and I wasn't risking it. Occasionally I'll smoke with my brother, but that's extremely rare.

09/27/2013 at 12:56 PM

L welll personally I would rather people smoke then drink I have never heard of someone stoned killing a family but hey thats my opinion.

09/27/2013 at 01:20 PM

I'm the opposite, but then again college life kinda makes drinking a lot more fun, so eh.

transmet2033

09/27/2013 at 11:22 AM

Well, I guess that it is time for me to go and die.

I'll join you! Pixlbit themed mass suicide!

Seriously though. Don't die. I'll miss you.

09/27/2013 at 12:30 PM

Wait, were you telling us that our opinions should die, or we should die?

09/27/2013 at 01:19 PM

That you should die. But it was a joke. Seriously, no dying!

ThatKidOverThere

09/27/2013 at 12:37 PM

I am 8 years old and what is this?

09/27/2013 at 01:21 PM

It's a guide to life. Live by this code and the world will give you a balloon.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

09/27/2013 at 04:32 PM

Midgets should not be in a zoo. They need to be in a wrestling ring. Nothing is funnier than a midget beating up a big person.

09/27/2013 at 06:47 PM

MIDGETS WRESTLING AT THE ZOO! Prepare to get rich, son.

09/27/2013 at 08:26 PM

They'd only be fighting each other though. I mean, don't get me wrong, midgets fighting each other is hilarious, but nothing beats them kicking a regular person's ass. Why do you think those Seinfeld episodes with Kramer's friend Mickey were so damn funny?

09/27/2013 at 08:36 PM

Midget wrestling a penguin?

09/27/2013 at 08:49 PM

GOD DAMMIT WHY IS THIS NOT A THING?

Alex-C25

09/28/2013 at 02:35 PM

Another rule: every Velociraptor shall always wear a top hat and a monocle. Wait, cross that: every living being in the entire universe (including bacteria) shall always wear a top hat and a monocle.

Homelessrook

09/28/2013 at 08:41 PM

I think it is inappropriate to do a money shot on a magazine and let you friend borrow it.

PixlBit

Blake's Random Opinions.

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