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You do WHAT now?


On 03/02/2013 at 11:42 AM by Ranger1

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For most of my life, this has been a common reaction when people find out I'm a gamer. Sometimes it has been because of my gender, sometimes my age, sometimes my profession, sometimes my other hobbies.  It always stems from the person's perception of what games are and gamers are like. Sometimes it opens up interesting conversations, sometimes I feel that continuing to talk to that person about games and gaming is a waste of my time and quickly change the subject.

My mom was the first person I ran into this with. I was in high school when the whole "D&D causes kids to commit suicide" bullshit was in the news. I think I had played exactly one game of D&D in my life and got myself thrown out of the game for not taking it seriously enough by people who took it too seriously, but my mom (she was sort of a disease of the month mother) was totally convinced that my reading habits (mostly comic books, science fiction, and fantasy), my one game of D&D, and my fascination with the game Wizardry had warped my sense of reality and I was going to be another statistic. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but she did sit me down for a serious talk about whether I understood the difference between fantasy and reality. I just gave her the teenage eye roll and answered with whatever the equivalent of "Really, Mom? Really?" was in 1985. I think my step-dad must have assured her that I was going to all right, because that was the last I heard about it.

My dad felt video games were for kids and any adult who was playing them needed to have his or her head examined. I asked for a Game Boy for Christmas one year and had to listen to a tirade about it. I didn't get the Game Boy (not that I was expecting to in the first place), my brother told me later I just shouldn't have said it was for gaming and I might have pulled it off. It was OK, though, I got a wicked awesome Craftsman socket set instead. It's unfortunate that my dad never got to watch me play Ratchet & Clank or Red Faction Guerrilla, though, because I think he might have liked those games. Not to play himself, but to watch someone else play.

When one of the clerks at my favorite book store discovered I was a gamer, she was incredulous. "You're a gamer?!" When I asked her why, it was because I was so outdoorsey. I informed her that many gamers do, in fact, go outside and partake of active outdoor activities. One of my cousins is a serious gamer, and he's just as likely to be found with a kayak paddle in his hands as he is a controller.

Jason's step-father was poking fun at Jason one day, until I confessed to being the gamer in the household. He was a little shocked, but asked me in all seriousness why. He had the perception that all games were like the old Atari games and didn't understand how much they've evolved over the years. I explained about story modes, RPGs, adventure games, and how many games are now immersive story telling. He'll never really understand gamers or gaming, but I think he understands that there is more to them than just shooting descending rows of space aliens.

I have a very good friend who is a farmer. She and her partner raise chickens for meat and eggs, pigs, and are trying to get a herd of cattle going. We have a lot in common in terms of being interested in natural history, biology, and folk music. I was telling her about how interested people were in my Ranger Stuff blogs and I discovered that she has that old stereotype of gamers firmly stamped in her mind. They live at home in their parents' basements, eat and drink Cheetos and Mountain Dew, and never see the light of day or know how to interact with other people. Again, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but it was pretty close. I have no idea if I've managed to shift that thought or not. 

Kids I do nature programs for are always startled to find out that I'm a gamer. Not because I'm a ranger, but because they think I'm old. One kid who was being a pain became very respectful when he found out I had all 40 gold bolts in Ratchet & Clank. Then they want to know what other games I play, so I have to promise to sit down with them after the program and talk about games so that we can concentrate on what they're supposed to be learning now.

And of course, I get the usual condescension from various employees who work in game stores because I happen to be female. I had one guy point out to me that the two games I was buying were for different systems (Xbox was displayed very prominently across the top of one box, and Playstation 2 across the top of the other), I've had employees who told me that the game I was asking about wasn't very popular with guys (assuming I was there to get it for a boyfriend, I suppose), etc.

My mom's latest was to ask me if I was addicted to video games. That was about five years ago now, and my explanation must have been good enough, because she and my grandmother have given me several gift cards to Game Stop and Amazon since then. Maybe it was my telling her about the game play in Stacking, or the fact that playing DQ IX was one of the few things that kept me sane when she had open heart surgery. I don't know, I'm just glad that she's come to terms with the fact that her eldest is a gamer. She doesn't understand, but at least she accepts.

I'm glad to see that gaming is becoming more mainstream. Hopefully future gamers won't have to constantly explain and defend their hobby like many of us have had to do.


 

Comments

GrayHaired

03/02/2013 at 11:50 AM

Pixl POP.    Now I'll read the blog.

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 12:00 PM

See that you do. Glad to see the classic POP, by the way.

Matt Snee Staff Writer

03/02/2013 at 11:51 AM

yeah I sometimes had to backpedal on gaming when I was still dating girls online.  It's almost like I had to be ashamed of my hobby. Ridiculous. Most girls just think it's a boy thing though, but it's my hobby and I take it very seriously. 

That's funny about the game store employees saying that stuff to you.  What dumbasses.  

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 12:02 PM

Matt, ask any female gamer about their experiences in big box and national chains that sell games. There will be at least one story like that. Game Stop and Best Buy seem to be the worst, but they're both improving. Smaller, independant stores that sell games seem to be a bit better for the most part.

Matt Snee Staff Writer

03/02/2013 at 12:06 PM

I guess it's like how every girl who lives in New York has a story about being groped on the subway.  That sucks.  

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 12:20 PM

Yeah, pretty much. Like I said, it's getting better, though.

leeradical42

03/02/2013 at 12:01 PM

You should see the looks I get when people find out im a gamer, first off im 47 and marriednwith 4 children ages 2,5,15,17 2 boys 2 girls and im a maintenance tech for 5 schools ranging from a primary three elemetarys and a middle school and when kids parents, teachers and employees learn of my gaming there in shock, my reply to my wife who is not a gamer is it could be worst I could be in the bars lol,I love my hobby and I play the drums and people just dont get me. Well my opinion is they dont have to get me they just have to respect what I like, they just cant understand someone who can build a house from the ground up could be a gamer and my answer SURPRISED lol.

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 12:13 PM

It seems to be a phenomenon among us gamers over the age of 35. Our peers just don't seem to get it. I'll have to repost my blog: "why does gaming have to be relevent?" sometime.

leeradical42

03/02/2013 at 12:07 PM

Oh and by the way I went through the im going to hell and probaly will end up in jail cause I played dungeons and dragons its like really grow up already MOM lol.I play games its my hobby like all of you I take it seriosly and I support my family of 6 and do a great job of it and still have time for my hobby

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 12:15 PM

Thanks for the chuckle, glad I'm not the only one who got that sit-down chat about the dangers of D&D!

goaztecs

03/02/2013 at 12:32 PM

Ilike reading blogs like this because it blows up the stereotype of what a gamer is. When I taught an after school Graphics class a lot of the kids behaviors changed. It went from being rowdy to calm and asking a lot of gamer questions. 

I'm glad gaming is becoming more mainstream, especially with all the casual games on cell phones turning people onto a new hobby

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 12:58 PM

Chris, thanks for commenting! Yeah, I'm glad about gaming becoming more mainstream, too. And it's amusing to see that it's now cool to be a geek.

Aboboisdaman

03/02/2013 at 12:47 PM

I love Mountain Dew and don't go outside too much lol. Sealed

That sucks you have to go through all that Tami. I've never had anybody question my hobby. My neices love coming over here because I have so many games. They love playing games as well although I wouldn't label them gamers.

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 12:55 PM

Aaron, you live in TX, if I lived there I wouldn't go outside much, either!

It's not a constant thing, and it has been getting better over the last ten years as gaming has gone more mainstream. I've gone from being annoyed to amused when it happens. Plus, I've been looking at it as an educational opportunity. Yes, I'm female; yes, I'm in my 40; yes, I work in an outdoor profession; yes, I play video games.

Travis Hawks Senior Editor

03/02/2013 at 02:20 PM

I live in Texas and love to go outside! Unless it drops below fifty or something ridiculous. Laughing

I have most of those same issues you have since I am adult and shouldn't be doing something as silly as playing video games.  People get over it eventually, but it can be pretty frustrating.

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 04:24 PM

Travis, I'm a New England girl, we melt when the temp gets above 75.

Super Step Contributing Writer

03/02/2013 at 08:16 PM

I live in TX, but have Wisconsinite parents/family, and the coolest (not weather-wise, awesome-wise) place I visited was Boston the summer after their 04 World Series win.

Somehow, I feel I can adapt to most of anything, probably in part due to this indisputable fact:

Travis Hawks Senior Editor

03/02/2013 at 09:35 PM

75 Celsius?  

Everything just takes some adjustment.  The biggest babies about cold weather down here seem to be people from the midwest or even farther north.  

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 09:40 PM

I'd be perfectly happy if it never got about 68 F. And as I get older, I become less and less tolerant of the heat.

Travis Hawks Senior Editor

03/03/2013 at 08:29 PM

I guess I'm the same (well, opposite).  The older I get, the more I can take it being hot.  I'm the only fool out mowing in August at 3 p.m. when it's 105.  It's awesome.

mothman

03/02/2013 at 01:51 PM

I've never been bothered much by people who are surprised that I play videogames. I tend not to bring it up around people my age outside of family. I have a son and daughter who are both in their early 20's and we occasionally have gaming conversations. More my son than my daughter. 

When I was staying with my brother-in-law my nephew used to ask me my opinion on games all the time and my niece's boyfriend bought Conker's Bad Fur Day off me.

It's just part of who I am. 

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 04:29 PM

I've gotten over being bothered by it, now it just amuses me. I guess it comes up in conversation more with me because I write about a lot of different things in my blog and invite people to check it out. My farmer friend has actually been featured in one of my non-gaming entries and I wanted her to read it and tell me what she thought.

TripOpt55

03/02/2013 at 02:30 PM

I get this sometimes from people. Not to the level you do it seems. But I am a very active person. Love working out and playing sports, so sometimes I guess what is looked at as such a sedentary hobby like gaming comes as a surprise.

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 04:30 PM

Trip, these examples are over a 30 year period, so it's not quite as bad as I make it out to be. But I do like to do my best to debunk the gamer stereotype.

chocobot

03/02/2013 at 03:08 PM

I still get pretty annoyed when I get asked if I actually play games at my job. I work at GameStop, of course I enjoy video games! I also got a few odd looks this morning at the salon when I pulled out my Vita when waiting for my haircut. I don't care too much what people think of me or my hobbies but its a shame so many still think video games are just for kids or men living in their parents basement. 

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 04:31 PM

Now why can't you work at my local Game Stop? The current crop of employees there don't help with the stereotype at all...

HEKTR0

03/02/2013 at 05:46 PM

Hey, quit ragging on children and men who live with their parents. They're people too...  But I agree that there is a stigma attached to video games that will probably take some time to undo. 

I never go into gamestop because I hate the aggressive salesmanship that has become so prevalent in retail nowadays.  Apparently life is so much better with magazine subscriptions, rewards cards, and credit cards specific to every store.

KnightDriver

03/04/2013 at 01:17 AM

I'm still working on playing games in public. I would love to play my 3DS at the coffee shops I hang out at before work, but I end up reading instead for fear of attracting attention or be thought of as childish. My desire to get SpotPass content however may push me to ignore public opinion.

ActivisionStoleMy360

03/02/2013 at 03:17 PM

That's pretty normal, I mean i'm a guy and I get those looks and I am a guy! I'm also an avid hunter/fisher, I have a higher degree (Masters of Accounting) and a few professional credentials such as my CPA, CFA (pending), and CMT (pending). 

Not only do people give me strange looks when I tell them I'm a gamer (and have been), they give me even stranger looks when I tell them I'm an avid outdoorsman and survivalist. They expect me to be this obnoxious walstreet finance person that has no concern but money and sex...I guess I'm not narcassistic enough to live in my own shoes for public opinion lol.

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 04:33 PM

Ya gotta admit, it's kind of fun seeing the looks on their faces when they find these things out, isn't it?

ActivisionStoleMy360

03/02/2013 at 09:49 PM

Yeah, maybe I'm not enough of a narcassistic terrible person lol!

GrayHaired

03/02/2013 at 08:21 PM

Funny thing about that, is at my work most of the older workers used to laugh at me, but when video games became more mainstream and they had to buy consoles and games for their grandkids or even kids, they would always come to me first and ask my opinion.

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 08:31 PM

It's good when we become the go-to people, isn't it?

Super Step Contributing Writer

03/02/2013 at 08:34 PM

I'm sorry you've had to put up with that. When I was growing up, it was still nerdy, but ultimately it was just something the guys did that the girls thought was stupid. Not really harmful to anyone, just one of those "boys are dumb" things, which I can only imagine dateless Gamestop employees are now getting their vengeance on you for, unaware you actually like games. lol

My mom still is the computer teacher at my old middle school, and from what I'm hearing, now it's a lot of the girls drawing anime and playing games, though I'm not sure if that still makes them nerdy or not to their peers.

While having been an Assistant Hall Director last year (and I'll be honest, not getting out much, but not being much of a gamer at the time, note my long hiatus from 1up before downloading Sonic CD on my Android) made me want to smack most of the incoming Freshman, I'm glad at least my generation now laughs at things like this, which might partly be what inspired your mom's D&D fear:

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 09:12 PM

The D&D thing was all over the news for a while, however I doubt that film had anything to do with my mom's worry. Heck, if she's seen that first, she would have urged me to go play some D&D!

Super Step Contributing Writer

03/02/2013 at 11:29 PM

Yeah, if I were a parent, I'd probably tell my kids to do the opposite of whatever those two said to do as well. lol

Angelo Grant Staff Writer

03/02/2013 at 08:51 PM

Ahem...

Ranger1

03/02/2013 at 09:13 PM

My point exactly.

Angelo Grant Staff Writer

03/02/2013 at 10:02 PM

I feel like we should fist bump or something...

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/02/2013 at 11:09 PM

I have this conversation with myself at times. I constantly ask myself whether I should give gaming up because while I love the hell out of it, the reality is that it doesn't matter and I spend way too much time on it. Then I think about the other things in my life: Reading, TV, drinking, friends, and the reality is that none of my hobbies really matter, they just make me happy. If something makes you happy (unless it's something heinous like having sex with animals) nobody has any right to take it away from you. Then again, 90 percent of people are ignorant assholes who think every single person on earth should be the same as them.

smartcelt

03/03/2013 at 12:12 AM

This blog made me laugh out loud! Mainly because I've had very similar experiences in my life.  My father wrote software for a living,so he was kind of supportive of my gaming as a kid. He liked to play Pac Man,Joust,and Defender with me. My Mom was not as enthused......she thought I needed to study more! Your story about the lone game of D&D you've played is exactly how it went for me. A college girlfriend of mine,who was a bit nerdy,much like myself, took me to a game at the college. It took place in this very annoying fellow's dorm room. All I can say is...worst dungeon master ever! It was absolutely ridiculous to me. He kinda made up rules so the hot girl he was flirting with would win. As for the Game Boy? I had one when I was in the Navy. It helped me stay sane and entertained me many hours out at sea. You gotta remember,this was back before the Internet even. My Sony Walkman,books,and Gameboy were all I had. Much better than watching lame VHS movies we all had seen 100 times before. I have taken flack from friends,girlfriends,coworkers and even total strangers for being a gamer. Like it's something I should have stopped at a certain age. Do we stop watching movies? Do we stop playing sports? Do we stop riding bikes? No! But those are things I loved as a kid. The only folks who have it worse are comic book collectors. Kevin Smith is doing wonders to lift that stigma with his TV show and his podcasting. But I think society may be coming around on gaming. Main reason is the money involved. Tons of it being made. I read an article about the new Tomb Raider game in Entertainment Weekly today. Just like it was some new movie or TV show. Things are starting to change.

Ranger1

03/03/2013 at 06:53 AM

Yeah, you and I are pretty close in age, so I figured you might have had some of the same experiences.

smartcelt

03/03/2013 at 12:18 AM

Oh,and one other thing I wanted to add. My boss is a huge gamer. His collection even rivals mine! He will take an entire day off when big games come out. Stays home and plays for hours. I talk to him about games quite often. Pretty cool!

Joaquim Mira Media Manager

03/03/2013 at 12:29 AM

I have never had this happen to me. Then again I talk about my hobbies quite openly, so everyone around me is already used to it. I'm also young *cough*... I look younger than I am, so people don't judge me so ignorantly? Yup, that too.

I don't even remember my parents ever giving me a "sit down" in regards to my hobbies. Then again my older brother was into similar stuff as me, so I was kind of under his wing, and they trusted the older brother. Not that i don't have anything to not be trusted with MWUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ranger1

03/03/2013 at 06:58 AM

Joaquim, you're just that much younger than smartcelt and myself. Most of the flak Wayde and I get comes from our peers and our parents' generation.

avidacridjam

03/03/2013 at 03:07 AM

It's a good thing you don't let this thing get you down. It's a stupid, discriminatory, antiquated way of thinking that just needs to die off.

Ranger1

03/03/2013 at 06:59 AM

It is, slowly but surely. It's a generational thing, I think.

smartcelt

03/03/2013 at 05:46 PM

Kinda like how politics are changing now,too. As the older generation dies off,the younger people change the country. Goes for people's attitudes about a lot of things. Gaming is now part of our culture. It's global and here to stay. 

angelfaceband42

03/04/2013 at 02:29 AM

Most people just don't understand things outside their own comfort zone.  The Gamestop near me is pretty cool.  Although I don't see to many other females in the stores buying games while I'm there, I'm treated very well.  

I can tell some people at work think it's childish, but that doesn't bother so much. 

  I'm 35 and have always been a strange female.  I grew up on metal music in the 80's, loved horror movies, played guitar, did video games, and now play drums in a band.  I never wore makeup, enjoyed shopping for clothes, shoes, etc.  BORING. In fact I found out recently that for a while my family questioned my sexuality and whether I would ever get married because of my strong Tomboy interests.  My husband does question my gaming sometimes, he thinks it's bad for me because I play instead of sleeping enough at times.  At least he means well.

  Anyway, funny story.  I used to visit my grandma and stay with her a week every year.  She was a VERY DEVOUT Christian.  One night I left out my Stephen King book, The Eye of the Dragon.  When I came down stairs the next morning I saw her bible laying open by the chair with my book laying on top of it.  She then lectured me on how that stuff was evil and showed me in revelations that the dragon was the devil.  Good Times.  :)

Ranger1

03/04/2013 at 11:49 AM

We aren't strange, we're non-traditional, lol. Sounds like we've had a lot of the same experiences growing up. Glad to know there are more like me out there.

Coolsetzer

03/04/2013 at 09:34 AM

Nice story. I enjoyed reading it. I don't really tell real life people about my hobby because I have gotten negative reactions in the past. They'll never understand how fun it is. I also have to leave it out of resumes and such because I don't want the stigma. When those people think video games, they think about FPS's, and that's not me. I enjoy running, hiking, being outside and visiting state parks as well.

Ranger1

03/04/2013 at 11:52 AM

I don't put my hobbies on my resumes. I keep those completely work-related. I think the more we let people know that we're not those stereotypes, the sooner we can change people's perspective of what gamers are: everyday people who enjoy an interactive entertainment experience.

Homelessrook

03/04/2013 at 04:14 PM

I know some of my friends still play video games but they are not into it like me or my friends here on Pixlbit. Well it is okay. I have my friends here, so if I want to geek out about games I do it here. Back before I retired I would start talking about a game coming out at work and I would get that  blank stare from my coworkers, I would just stop and walk off LOL.

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