PixlBit

Oh right, I was supposed to have a bunch of complaints in my blogs as per the theme I said I decided on before BaD started on February 3rd. Oops. 

Well, I guess I'll just give you a rundown of my day and see what I can complain about from there. *Ahem*

So I woke up pretty early, actually, but then I decided to go back to sleep because I was still tired and it was raining, thus the perfect combination for sleeping in. Hell, yesterday I was thinking the school would be shut down due to inclement weather, but nope, just raining and cold.

Complaint #1 I love rain, so no complaints about today. I'd love to live in Seattle. But it made me think of all the previous days when there was no precipitation of any kind, it was just cold, which is scientifically proven, by way of my own personal and empirical research, to be the most useless, bullshit kind of weather there is. Oh, so I have to put a jacket on, but I don't get a snow day? Mother Nature, you're a cunt. And fuck yourself harder when it's sunny and cold outside and I forget to check the weather, having to deal with shorts and flip flops as I rush to work with icicle balls. I hope the polar vortex gets polar vortex AIDs, just like rodeo cowboy Matthew McConaughey, now with cocaine accessories. Make rodeo cowboy Matthew McConaughey the life of your Barbie Funhouse ... you faggot.  

See that text the idiots at Perez Hilton put there, talking to McConaughey? Those are AIDs. Know how AIDs happen? When weather is cold, but it's sunny outside.

Complaint #2 Why in the fuck has science not made an alarm clock that is also a beer hat that serves caffeine instead of alcohol when it goes off and is able to be comfortably worn in bed? Fuck flying cars, I want my Wake Up Barbie Not-A-Beer-Hat you white-coated, tiny-dicked pricks! What is taking you so goddamned long?!

The fact this is on a fat white guy drinking beer instead of an Indian physicict drinking coffee is exactly why China should scare us. 

Complaint #3 All school districts, please decide whether or not you are going to shut down; and furthermore, if you say you're thinking about it, just go ahead and fucking shut down, this country ain't gonna get any better at science just because you're open, please accept our fuckedness and move on; the night before, and let us all move on with our lives and sleep in. The previous awkwardly worded run-on sentence, the terms "ain't" and "fuckedness," and the lack of any real citations or evidence to back up the claim that school closures will not impact scientific literacy were brought to you by whichever United States school district you want it to have been brought to you by.

Meanwhile, at Liberty University

Complaint #4 The fact rainy weather, the Superbowl and Halloween do not result in national holidays is also horseshit. Some of us are respectful enough to honor the wishes of the brave young men and women that fight for our right to sleep in, stuff our faces with candy, and watch television all day, you fucking government heathens. Do your jobs and give us holidays, none for you! You haven't earned it until you actually punish Goldman Sachs et al. like a good government. An Icelandic one. No soup for you. 

Look at what you did, Louie Gohmert! I blame you most of all, cause you misrepresent me so!

Anyway, upon waking up, I got a bunch of texts from DJs asking about CDs, because I guess they were working on the computer today. Since literally everything I'd be doing in my office would have involved that computer and answering questions, and obviously they all have my phone number, I decided to stay home and just make up the office hours at some later date. 

Complaint #5 Why do robots not already do every job? Where are all the fucking robots? Why can't I manipulate the time-space continuum with a PowerGlove and join Bill and Ted on their excellent adventure, which was depicted in a movie I'm aware of because of pop culture, but never actually saw? 

Oh right, cause Fred fucking Savage just had to go and stop the mating ritual that would have allowed that to happen. Thanks for not sharing the wonder years with the rest of us. Dick.

 So I hopped on Facebook and was greeted with posts of a PolicyMic article saying the Twitter hashtag #SochiProblems that consisted of journalists and others mocking the piss-poor conditions in the Olympic Village hotels in Sochi said more about privileged Westerners (specifically Americans in the title of the article) than about struggling Russians. Dissenting comments noted that a Canadian started the twitter feed, not Americans, and that no one said Russia should have been paradise, but the fun-poking was at the corrupt government that pocketed 51 billion dollars for the event and did little or nothing with it, as evidenced by the tweets. 

Complaint #6 I have sympathy for the people of Russia (especially the unpaid and exploited workers the government made work on setting up), but their homophobic government can drink some of the piss water they've claimed they can prove is being wasted by the cameras they put in everyones' showers and lick my balls. Except don't, that's nasty. On a happier note, female snowboarders can Russia my mother any time ... I think. Finally, The Daily Show's take on all this made me laugh more than PolicyMic's, and is therefore the correct take.

Oh but y'know, we should keep our tweets more sensitive, like they do.

Complaint #7 What city doesn't have NBC available on broadcast (only on cable)? What the fuck, Nacogdoches? I want to ogle some snowboarders. Stop being Communists. 

The real reason to watch the Olympics

 Then I saw a Buzzfeed article, which is good, because those are all complaints. http://www.buzzfeed.com/reneeallday/23-things-all-servers-will-understand-jggc 

A lot of these I understand from the customer's perspective, even having been a waiter, but one in particular will make me rip your eyes out if I ever see you do it when your service was fine:

Complaint #8 (18 0n the Buzzfeed List): Seriously, if you don't tip your servers (in the U.S., where they are paid $2.13/hr like I was "plus" tips; plus in quotes because taxes), you are a little shit of a boy (not a man, regardless of your age) and you deserve to be curb-stomped American History X style. I worked at Outback Steakhouse, where a table not tipping meant your tip share paid what was expected anyway. In other words, employees, some of whom had children and serious responsibilities, trying to do their best with the job they were able to get, could lose money going to work. It did happen, I saw the service, it was fine. Anything that happens to you as a result of not tipping a decent waitstaff employee is deserved. 

Yes. ANYTHING.

Then I vomited my cafeteria food, which literally made me sad while eating it. 

Complaint #9 Corned beef with coleslaw and chipotle mustard is not good when cold. Granted, the problem could be overeating or lactose intolerance, but those things didn't make me sad. 

Not remotely what I ate

Then I did my cardio in the gym. Before going, I sat for a while and made it to level 7 in Spanish and French in duolingo.

Then I hopped online back at the apartment and got on here where I read another Buzzfeed article a former co-worker mentioned. http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/real-struggles-that-ras-understand

Complaint #10 (12 and 15 in article) Oh God, the shame. I felt like a Nazi during their prominence, even if I never did anything wrong (not even underage drinking around or near campus; seriously) during my tenure as a CA (we were called Community Assistants at SFASU). But I totally did and would have done those things had I been in any other job.

"The key to success is not to smoke the mary jew wanna. Also, I totally smoked it my Freshman semester and got a 4.0, but none of you can. Meeting adjourned.

As for 15, drinking is not an excuse to make me your babysitter, asshole. And don't tell me your rich parents will pay for damages when I check you out. People who take this job often do it cause of financial struggles, and saying that after being a pain in the ass is not going to help you. Jackass. 

Finally, to make this game related 

Complaint #11 Writing this blog cut into my Ghost Trick playing time. Damn you all.

Before I cease to exist, I will ... zzzzzzzzzzz