PixlBit

So, South Park:The Stick of Truth came out last week. Having beat the game, I can say that it's really fucking good. A little too vague, particularly with the puzzles and the fart mechanics do not quite work as well as they should, but that doesn't change that the game is every South Park fan's wet dream. It doesn't ignore any of South Park's past, jokes, gags, and characters they don't really touch anymore such as Mr. Hankey and Professor Chaos are present. It's just great.

And the gaming press seems to agree. However, Polygon being Polygon decided to write an article about how the game should have let you play as a girl. I mean, I can't stand that fucking site because they write articles just covering hot topics such as this just to get hits, then if they are called out on anything from a questionable opinion to getting their facts wrong, they silence all dissenting opinions.

They do acknowledge the show's dynamic with regards to gender but that begs the question: Why would you write this article in the first place? The boys play with each other and, except for Stan, Clyde and Butters, tend to think girls are "icky." You know, like how 3rd/4th graders generally act. Because South Park is about 4th graders. The episodes "Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset," "Majorine," and "The List" specifically are about this. If you've seen those, you should know there's no issue.

This clip is from the show. Notice how everyone is a 4th grade boy.

The article argues for a dynamic between how the boys act towards a girl, it generally would not really fit. One of the quests is to get the girls to trust you because you're a boy. And this isn't some short thing either, it involves a dungeon in an abortion clinic then a lengthy trip to Canada. They spend time explaining it, the writer acknowledges it, what else needs to happen? This game exists simply to be South Park, not to advance a feminist agenda. 

And you know what? If you were a girl, Princess Kenny wouldn't be as funny. It wouldn't make sense as there is another girl, and that would just be distracting. And I'm very happy they fit Anime Princess Kenny into this game.