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 On 03/25/2014 at 07:14 PM by BrokenH See More From This User » |
"Oh boy,Ben's blogging again! I'm back in business! Is the SWAT van and underaged looking yet sexy undercover female officer ready?? Good,good!"
This is going to be one of those blogs. I do not want to piss anyone off but it’s my tradition to be honest and give my two cents even when I hold the unpopular opinion.
"I'd tap it...oh shit...I mean...Doh!"
I see the word “pedophile” thrown around a lot and to be clear, it implies sexually lusting after children. Guys, I hate to break it to you but “teenagers” are not children. Yes, our modern culture babies teenagers and often groups them under the children category but it is not accurate.
"Every woman wants to be Jacob Black's school teacher!"
Let’s be honest, teens develop adult physical attributes because of puberty. This in turn makes them “attractive” to the adult eye. That in itself is okay. No one needs to feel shame over thinking Raven from Teen Titans is “hawt”, ogling over Jacob Black’s rippling biceps, getting wet over Edward Cullen’s “sparkle moment”, or for saying Chie from Persona 4 is “dreamy”. It’s a pretty natural response! Also there’s another term for this. It’s called “ephebophilia“.
"So,this is what texting looks like in 2013? I did not have green comment boxes you privileged gits!"
When I was in my early 20’s and had just gotten back from college I felt kind of lost and aimless. I was still a hopeless romantic and doped up on a lot of pharmaceutical pills my therapist told me would help with my bi-polar disorder. (Sadly said pills only made things worse) Regardless, I got into a long distance romantic relationship with a teenaged girl. I’m not here to justify what I did or tell anyone it was “right”. Certainly teens are young adults but they also do not know what they want out of life yet.
Because of this I should have broken things off then and there but I felt lonely and needy. For a few years I tried to make it work and perhaps luckily for me, the whole thing eventually fell apart. This was the only time I ever tried dating someone online who was “that young”. (My previous ex was actually 4 years older than me.) For awhile you could say I continued to have a bit of a fixation with teen girls (still at a distance mind you) but eventually it dawned on me I wanted someone closer to my age and someone deep enough to understand where I was coming from. The bohemian romanticist that had been my younger self was put away along with other childish notions!
What I did was wrong. However I do not think the occasional “kinky thought” relating to an attractive teenager is abnormal. So long as you can separate the reality from the fantasy you are in the green!
Perhaps the biggest thing we fail to remember is that there was a harsher time in which teenagers were not babied and coddled. There was a time teens were mature enough to handle kids, jobs, and a marriage. For example, being 15 in the Wild West meant you were old enough to shoot someone and have a beer. During the 1900’s-1940’s being 15 meant you would work in the factory, handle affairs on the farm, or start learning your father’s trade. Teenagers were not always perceived as “fragile innocents” in an unforgiving world. That’s only been the most recent societal trend.
Teens today cannot handle a lot of the harsh realities of yesterday because we categorized them, labeled them, and stopped treating them like the young adults they truly are. Maybe it is indeed better we do that but I’m still somewhat undecided on if “sheltering” is the same as “nurturing” “strengthening” and “teaching”.
Lastly, I’m sorry, but teenagers are not pious sexless angels. Were ANY OF US that way after our hormones kicked in?! I doubt it!
If you want to think less of me after I admitted to all this it’s okay. Yet I think there are a lot of people out there with stories and outlooks similar to my own even if they don’t have the stones to fess up to it!
Now lissen heer yungin' ahm damm neer 60 yahrs owld an mah whoremoans hav neva kikked in. Neva Ah tells ya!
Bak in mah day we didn't hav no whoremoans and we lahked it jus fahn.
Sorry what was this blog about again?
Ok, truth time. When I was in my mid 20's I dated a few girls who were still in their teens. Ok maybe not early teens but teens none the less. So what?
You have to read it,Peter! Sadly,it's time for your pills old man! If you're good I will let you mingle with the other senior citizens and even let you eat some jello! 
I just added another small paragraph related to your blog. I forgot to do it the first time onnacounna I don't remember stuff too well these days/
Memories? Remembering? What are those?
Who said that? Ben is that you? Who are all these people?
I don't know! I'm scared,Peter! Time for us to brandish our walking sticks and beat our way out of this predicament! Oh,look! Those nice young police officers are here to help!
that twilight shit is serious porn except for the lack of genitalia close ups.
I know,Matt. Jacob is so hawt even I want him! I mean.......
seriously, if I was gay and psychotic I would slip him a rufie
I already did slip him a rufie! (Sounds of sirens outside) Blast it,Batman and Commissioner Gordon are here! Always ruining my fun!
I did not start college until I was 26, so I had 8-9 years on most of my fellow students. Initialy it was awsome, but I realized real quick just how much more mature I had gotten since I was 18. I just could not relate. I did date a 19 year old during the second semester but it did not last for more than a month.
This can be a very tricky topic because in a lot of ways it comes down to culture. Just like you mentioned in terms of time periods, what we percieve as an adult is not black and white. Whats funny is when we have our Mardi Gras parades down here, there will be dance teams from the junior highs. We're talking girls ranging from 13 to 15 doing these very erotic dances, and it is uncompforatble to watch. The high school dance teams are just as provative, but at least they are older. Still this is a huge divergence between real people and fictional characters. I have some hentai and I think its funny that even though it an animation there is still a disclaimer stating all the characters are 18.lol. I think in some ways it is good that teens are sheltered a bit more today yet I think too many are over sheltered and spoiled.
I think our 20's is a weird period too. At that point we still romanticize "being young" and we are perhaps reluctant to fully settle into adulthood. I know in my early 20's I did sort of feel like I was "not quite an adult yet". I also had not mastered things like managing my money more frugally and eating more healthily. It was probably just a case of arrested development on my part!
I agree "teens" are a weird group to define because depending on the culture they're not always coddled youngsters. I dunno, remembering how I was as a teen it's difficult to see teens as outright children. Naive young adults? Most certainly! The same league as 6-12 year olds? Not remotely!
But I do think teens need time to grow up and decide what they want out of life. Granted, there are adults confused about what they want out of life too but at least adults have more skills and wisdom at handling the uncertainties.
Then again, if a 40 year old guy and a 18 year old girl (Or vice versa) can somehow "make it work" I'm not going to judge them. Teens are at least capable of knowing right from wrong and that their decisions have consequences.
I agree with everything except the part where I went to college at mostly expected ages. I dated a 19 year old when I was 22, which is the largest gap I've had in that direction, my girlfriends are typically older.
Technically, the Twilight actors were always legally adults I'm pretty sure, but I've heard people say Edward is a pedo in the books cause of his extremely old vampire age or something.
Funny thing is when I was younger and I would see the girls chasing the older guys and I would think "yeah I'll cash in on that when I get older". But when I did get older those younger girls drove me crazy and not in the good way,lol. Actually they drove me crazy both ways which made it all the more frustrating.
Yeah, I think that's why most of my girlfriends have been older. The 19 year old was and still is mature for her age.
I don't know that I've ever skewed young enough to have the same problem, but I've overheard conversations involving girls I was attracted to at first and thought "hot, but not at all worth it."
The first woman I truly loved was 4 years my senior,Joe. lol. So it was a trip when my next relationship was with a teen girl. At least it was only on the internet. In retrospect I'm grateful for that.
I also agree with Gemini. In my early 20's I romanticized younger girls but when I hit around 28 those same females did not do it for me anymore. Sure, I can still appreciate the healthy physique of a teenaged girl but "admiring beauty from afar" and "hanging out or dating" are drastically different things.
Surprisingly I've known quite a few attractive 30 year old women but admittedly it's been difficult picking up the courage to ask them out. The only thing I miss from my younger days is being more adventurous and having more courage.
You ever saw Shanghai Kiss?
Nope! Is it an Asian romance movie,James? Don't mean to come off as "racist", it is just the wording "Shanghai kiss" comes off as an Asian romance or Asian romantic comedy. lol. Don't hate me,bra!
It's an American movie. The main character is Ken Leung. It's about a guy in his 30s trying to get a grip on what he wants. He's kind of "dating" a high school girl. He leaves her and goes to Shanghai to find himself. I don't want to ruin the rest if you hadn't seen it, but your blog reminds me of the movie. It's kind of a romantic comedy, but in the the laugh out loud sort of way. There is a bit of dark humor. Or maybe it's not suppose to be funny at all. I tend to laugh at a lot of stuff that may not be funny to some people. 
Seems good! I'll give it a gander! I admit there were high points to the relationship I was in. It was not all bad. But I was at a weird point in my life where I was not all together and my head was on backwards. (Or up my own ass. Take your pick. lol.) I will say the girl I'm talking about was very sexually forward. I did not really have to introduce her to new things. (Thus dismissing the usual older person corrupting the younger person stereotype,heh) But in the end it was all text and phone calls. Maybe it could have been something more but making a relationship like that "work" can be quite problematic. On my end at least I insisted on her staying home until she was 18 or 19. When she finally was almost 18 is when she broke it off with me. I think she realized she wanted to explore life's options before settling down. I do not blame her for that but the way she broke up with me was more dramatic than it had to be and her excuse for doing so was kind of based around a lie. Aka, breaking up with me was fine but I did not agree with her methods.
Damn I re-read my post. I meant to say, "It's kind of a romantic comedy, but not in the laugh out loud sort of way".
It's cool,James! I'm a fan of more subtle unforced humor anyway. It can be a pleasant change of pace from the usual.
There's also a place for toilet humor and obvious humor too!
Your right, teens use to handle a lot more then they are today but remember, things are different. Its hard for teenagers to do any supporting in anything to be considered young adults. In my mind a young adult is a 17 year old. Anything below that is a big no and a no. Its okay for others to feel differently but for me thats were the line is. Not to mention I try to always date older. Young ones dont know jack shit about where their going,not even 21 and 22 year olds. Not in my area anyway. Half of them act like their still 16!
Eventually I came to the same conclusions. I think teens are young adults but I also think they are "not quite there yet" when it comes to logic and being independent. (Though yeah,I've known a few exceptions when I was growing up myself)
I feel kind of guilty about my relationship with the girl I mentioned but I actually dissuaded her from coming see me irl before she was 18. I think I just wanted "something" to fill the void of loneliness I felt.
In the end I'm glad the relationship fell apart because I know for a fact she did not really know what she wanted and wouldn't have been mature enough to be in a real relationship.
A lot of it, honestly, is that we've learned a lot more about neuroscience than we used to know. The human brain doesn't reach full physiological maturity until well into your 20s Teens are very vulnerable to exploitation, and even back in the 1800s and early 1900s, frankly, most of those teens going out into the world ended up the way too many teens trying to go out into the world too early end up now - involved in drugs, crime, prostitution, shackled to abusive partners, or dead. Many girls died in childbirth. They really weren't any better equipped to handle the "real world" back then than they are now, and they suffered just as much for it. Back in the good old days, life was simply cheaper than it is now. If one kid died, oh well, you had six others to fall back on.
In the 1960s, a teenager was "old enough to kill, but not for votin'" in the words of Barry McGuire (from the song "Eve of Destruction"). And that was true. Teenagers not considered mature enough to drink or vote for public officials were given high-powered assault rifles and sent over to kill people and break things in Vietnam by Robert McNamara. Since we had active conscription, they weren't even given a choice in the matter. The only options these kids had were to get on the bus to Basic, go to jail, or escape to Canada. The ones that went came back with PTSD, little to no help from Uncle Sam in dealing with what they'd seen and done in Vietnam, and no adulation from the American public, indeed, they were often greeted as "baby-killers." Vietnam vets made up 25% of the total homeless population as recently as 2007. The Vietnam tragedy and subsequent advances in our knowledge of human brain development are a big part of why things are different now.
I agree to an extent though I think "cultural/economic upbringing" and "the individual" still play a role in development speed. For example, at 15 I was very introspective and wise for my age but compared to certain other friends they were either a bit behind me or even a bit ahead of me. (And we were all in the same age group) Some of them were better at social situations and others excelled more at general survival. Truthfully despite my intellect I had neither street smarts or social charisma. To be frank, I personally was not ready to be out on my own yet,Andrew.
Yet I had friends that were "independent" at 16. Others "stayed home" well into their mid 20's.
That's the rub. I do not think "maturity" and "puberty" can always be measured by an age marker. However,maybe it can be rounded off to a certain "higher percentage" that is the norm for most people?
In a way, you're right. We set the age of adulthood at 18 because we've determined it to be the best balance between peak physical prowess (especially with regards to the Armed Forces) and emotional maturity, even though very, very few people are truly mature at that age. We also amended the Constitution to allow 18-year-olds to vote - if a kid is old enough to pick up a M16 and kill people with it under military orders, why isn't he old enough to vote for the folks sending him to war? The age of consent is 15 or 16 depending on the state you live in. At some point we decided that it generally wasn't a good idea for 14 year olds to legally be able to engage in sexual relationships or make such a permanent decision as marriage. You can't run for POTUS until you're at least 35 years of age, and even at that, a 35-year-old is not going to be seen by the general public as being experienced enough to lead the country. But by and large, teenagers are still not equipped to deal with life on their own. Some of the ones most easily preyed upon are the ones that seem the most "mature", because their false sense of confidence leads them into situations that they get trapped in.
At the time he became a general in the Union Army, Ulysses S. Grant, later the 18th President of the United States, had been living with his parents at the age of 39 because he had been unable to make a living on his own after being forced to sign a letter of resignation from the Army several years earlier for showing up for inspection drunk, as an alternative to a court-martial. When he got his commission as General, his father wrote him and told him that now that he had a good-paying job, he'd better keep it!
I agree teens are easy to prey upon but gullible adults are as well. Under my therapist so many different meds were prescribed to me. Everything from geodon,to eskalith,to paxil,to prozac,to lithium,and depakote! I still believe that in my 20's I was used as one of many human lab-rats. lol. Usually that bothers me but every once in a blue moon I can get a wry chuckle out of it!
As for "running for office" I think that "young blood" can be good sometimes. I personally do not understand why we usually insist our politicians be up into their 50's or 60's before we give them more credability. Yes, there is wisdom with age but in addition many of our elders are reluctant to adapt to change or embrace new better ideas. I even notice at 36 I'm rather "set in my ways", heh.
That's kind of funny about Grant. I knew he was assigned as a general in his 30's but I did not know he was on the verge of being 40 when he left. I bet when he finally set off for the battlefield his dad celebrated!
Twilight continues to be a source of unintended entertainment, at least for me. I have no doubt in my mind if the genders of the characters were flipped that it'd be demonized for 'sexualizing' young women, even though the 'young' part of that is questionable at best. As far as the vampire characters go, anyway.
I bet that too! Sexualizing young women? A filthy man has to be behind this!! Get the torches,ladies! Sexualizing young men? Tee-hee,Tee-hee! Edward is so dreamy!
Needs more Pedo Bear. lol
And I agree. Our society likes to label things. If she's under 20, it's "hands off, mister!" I blame parents for being bigots and "sheltering" their children, knowing full well that they ran the roads in their youth. American culture as well, since it's perfectly normal to see blood and guts and torture in movies, but GOD FORBID any gratuitous sex.
I should have included a picture of Pedo-bear...and "Booty warrior" to compliment Chris handsome!
thanks for the word lesson.
I understand what your speaking of when it comes to teens of the past, Infact back then once you hit your teen years there was no such thing as "teen years". once you were 12 or older you were pretty much an adult in the eyes of the socieity at large. That's how it was not just in the past in the US but all over the world. Even now in some areas of the world that age limit still applies.
But as we become more "civilized" we no longer see teens in that light. And given how stupid teenagers can be this day and age, moreso with very few punishments for being a dummy teen" they don't have the meants to understand things like they could back then. Sure teens are different from kinds and adults which is why we need those categories. It' makes things more complicated but that's what you get when you progress as a socity.
Just look what happened with that 13 year old Smith girl on instragram with a shirtless 20 year old family friend and the debate that's caused.
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