Goat Simulator 2014 Review

On 04/06/2014 at 11:35 AM by Blake Turner

Ah, Goat Simulator. You naughty minx. You seem to have taken the Dead Island approach to game development by spending all of your money on a trailer that will dupe the internet generation and making a game so utterly terrible that it took me roughly twelve hits of my head against the wall, six pints of blood, and eventually complete and utter amnesia to forget what it was. Of course, since I had amnesia, I watched the trailer again, thought the game would be phenomenal, and tried to buy it again. Fortunately, Steam had a better memory than me, said "Oi! You've already bought this game and should spend your money on someone who'll actually use it wisely." So, I just went back to playing Goat Simulator for the second time.

To find out what happened when I played it again, dial 666-BLAKE-OWNS-YOU-NOW. Or if you prefer to keep your soul, click this link http://plus10damage.com/blog/2014/4/4/goat-simulator-review

Matt Snee Staff Writer

04/06/2014 at 11:56 AM

damn. all hype, huh?

Blake Turner Staff Writer

04/06/2014 at 12:40 PM

Yep.

Super Step Contributing Writer

04/06/2014 at 12:11 PM

666-BLAKE-OWNS-YOU-NOW is more than ten digits long, and therefore not a viable United States phone number as far as I know.

Actually, I'm quite certain 666 is not a U.S. area code, but I wonder what area would have had it before getting rid of it out of superstition.

Well, I'm Australian... So I bypass all superstition and laws of area.

04/06/2014 at 12:43 PM

I know, I'm just saying I can't call that number. It's a sad day in America.

Alex-C25

04/06/2014 at 04:05 PM

Hmmm, i'll be careful with this one because I was also atracted to the idea of the game because, well, who would have thought of doing that before? In any case, maybe if it's around 1 Euro or so.

Speaking of those Simulator games, ever played Surgeon Simulator? It's also one that is made intentionaly bad, but as far as I know is more enjoyable.

04/06/2014 at 04:41 PM

Yeah. It's not bad. The difference is A) content. There's actually stuff to do in that game, and the ridiculous stupidity of the game comes as a biproduct of the objective, it's not the objective itself.

If Goat Sim was free, I'd recommend it. I giggled a few times. But for 10 bucks? Fuck that.

KnightDriver

04/06/2014 at 04:32 PM

I loved hearing about this game just like I loved hearing about Cookie Clicker, but I have little interest in actually playing it.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

04/07/2014 at 03:55 PM

Does it have to be my soul? Can I get one of the dozens I own and give that to you instead? I've grown pretty attached to mine.

PixlBit