Well, don't worry about commenting on any of my back blogs. I get to a point and I can either read all of them or I can read some and leave comments. No need to make life crazy :)
AFK: BaDs Mission Failed
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 On 04/11/2014 at 11:31 PM by NSonic79 See More From This User » |
Time to come clean
It’s about time I finally get around to blogging why I’ve been “AFK” for this long. It just doesn’t feel right to blog again until I get this off my chest. Aside from my brief “April Fools” blog I haven’t done much on my various SN sites, besides commenting on other people’s blogs of course. But basically here is what I’ve been up to in a nutshell.
Interwebs finally kapoot.
During the last week of February my ISP finally decided to work at a snail’s pace. I wasn’t even able to DL the free DLC offerings of Burnout Paradise over it. Even now I’ve finally been able to DL my free games offered in Microsoft’s “Games with Gold”. It was so bad I had to file a formal complaint with my ISP. That got me a month’s credit of internet use and so far it seems I’m back to normal when it comes to internet access to my home. Hopefully they’ve finally upgraded their network enough during the 1st quarter.
BaD second guessing
I had big plans for blogs during February’s Blog A Day Challenge and though I had most of the foundation set for these blogs, along with helpful ideas for blogging by various commenters, I wasn’t able to get them off the ground. Not in time for the final week of course. Besides that reason being due to my internet woes, you could also say it was because I was having second thoughts about posting them due to their nature. The more I re-read those blogs, the less and less comfortable I felt posting them. I know that the BaDs are suppose to be a way for those to blog about more than besides games, but about anything that could put more of a face with the person that blogs. It was like looking into a mirror and not liking what I saw staring back at me.
Seriously! Look at this face! This is from only 28 days of not shaving! My wife said I looked like a cross between a demented Paul Bunyan and a wild Sasquatch. She wouldn’t even kiss me anymore, not fearing for her life mind you but for fear of the upper layer of skin she’d lose off her face if my “epic” beard scrapped it away. Okay, in all seriousness that’s not the reason why I game up on BaD this year. I mostly found how despite me thinking that I’m a man of concrete stances on issues; I seem to be a jumble of contradictions.
Examples:
I’m not one for drugs or alcohol yet in my blog entitled “Drugs in my Gaming” I find that in every game I play I use said drugs/alcohol if offered in the game play type. Be it drugs that help me be stronger, faster or just to drink for drinking sake I’d do such.
I’m a man that values life, be it born and unborn, yet in my blog entitled “Why I Play: I like to kill”, I find myself relishing in the fact that I am indeed a “virtual reality sociopath”. If my kill count could be attributed to real life situations, I’d be up for war crimes against humanity.
I’m a man that believes in the faith, yet in my blog entitled “Religion in my Gaming” I have no problem playing games that have a theme that would run contrary to my faith or have a plot that consists of me protecting/resurrecting a God or killing that God.
I’m a man that holds a form of respect for civility and respect toward others, yet in my blog explaining why I despite the East Coast/New England/Connecticut you’d think I was about to declare war on the whole area.
These themes are nothing new to me mind you. If anything I thought this would make me more tolerant and less polarizing when it came to such issues about my dramatis persona. Yet at the same time I feared I could get called out on this given how it seems that everyone is to assume you’re so polarized about any issue you have to be one way or another in all issues that are spoken of. Call it a momentary weakness but that’s what stopped me this year on BaD. Perhaps these blogs will see the light of day eventually but for now I think I’ll tuck them away.
Experiencing my own personal “Twilight Zone.”
As of late I’ve been having the most lucid dreams that I’ve ever had in memory. In the past I use to document these dreams on a blog back on MySpace. But with MySpace’s blog option gone it would seem that those dreams that use to come have also eluded me. Until now that is. I don’t know why or how they started up again but they are so confusing and odd I’ve found myself writing more about them than my blogs in general. These dreams are not only lucid but also interconnected! My favorite kind! The general themes are as followed.
Shopping for an old book written by Jennifer Hoyt about “Encounters with the Dead” and actually reading a chapter
Being at a class reunion only for my class to abandon me in some futuristic resort that has a mass evacuation of its workers, leaving the occupants to fend for themselves against something.
Female classmates making a business of home cosmetic supplies and having me quality control them.
And lastly, and most oddly, reading about “Peanuts Porn”?!?!?!
My wife is the one that suggested that these dreams are my own personal “Twilight Zone” given how it is me experiencing them and not just some dream persona.
Playing Catch-up:
To date I still have over 400+ messages in my pixlbit inbox. And I don’t even want to say how many I have in my IGN/1up.com accounts. It’s taking me awhile to answer them so please forgive me if I’m still a month or two behind on blog reading/commenting.
That about covers what I’ve been up to but worry ye not, I have much to blog about so the floodgates should open soon enough, once I get a handle on things.
Ta-ta
“N”
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