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Your Childhood Sucked


On 09/26/2014 at 06:00 AM by Blake Turner

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Are you in your mid 20's to late 30's? Was at least a month of your childhood consumed by a Final Fantasy game? Do you still have nightmares about the first time you encountered a Licker in Resident Evil 2? Do you still have the urge to punch anyone who says that Super Mario Bros. 3 isn't the best platformer of all time? Then you will know, better than anyone, that gaming has really gone to hell lately. There are no good games being made. Everything is terrible. Games stopped being good after the Playstation 2 / Playstation 1 / N64 / SNES / NES / The System That Was In Your Life As A Teenager. 

Well, you're wrong. Super Mario World is better than Super Mario Bros. 3. Oh, and the games you liked as a child totally suck.

 Read the rest here.


 

Comments

xDarthKiLLx

09/26/2014 at 09:55 AM

the games I liked as a child DID suck.  Thank you Blake, for helping me to realize this lol.

I've got a couple interviews to get to this AM, but I'll check out your Plus10 article when I get back, before I throw down on this week's edition of the muthafuckin WEEKENDER!!!

Have a good day dude!

Alex-C25

09/26/2014 at 11:08 AM

I don't condone overly blind nostalgia, so this is a post I really like. Though not without its faults, this generation and the last has very much improved the way we create games and the possibilities for many types of genres is astounding.

That said, I do think Mario 64 has aged just fine and I found it even better in recent years than when I was little.

Speaking of my childhood sucking, I replayed some of Sonic Heroes last year (my first 3D Sonic game) and that game showed its flaws inmediately.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 10:17 PM

Haha. I know the feeling. I recently replayed Sonic Pinball... damn.

 Mario is an amazing game hampered by shitty controls. I'm quite tempted to get the 3DS version actually.

Alex-C25

09/27/2014 at 04:44 AM

I can give you that about the N64 pad, though when I replayed the game it was the Virtual Console version and I either used the Classic Controller or a (non oficial) Gamecube controller, which were probably better.

Super Step Contributing Writer

09/26/2014 at 11:49 AM

Actually, having grown up with Super Mario World and playing Super Mario Bros. 3 later on as an adult through emulation, I'm not sure which one is better. I might even consider them even. There are some games that simply stand the test of time, but I read the rest of your article, so I know you know that. I just hope Pixlbits know that you know that the way I know that you know that. 

Blake Turner Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 10:19 PM

Pretty sure they know me and what I'm trying to say pretty well by now haha. Also, your opinion on Mario is different to mine and therefore wrong :p

Matt Snee Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 11:58 AM

Super Mario Bros 2 kills all that shit.  

mothman

09/26/2014 at 06:46 PM

Which one

Matt Snee Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 07:39 PM

everything in the world.  Tongue Out

mothman

09/26/2014 at 08:02 PM

I meant which Super Mario 2? Doki Doki Panic or the Lost Levels?

Matt Snee Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 08:04 PM

oh!  Doki Doki!  

mothman

09/26/2014 at 08:11 PM

I love that frikkin' game. :)

Matt Snee Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 08:04 PM

ain't nostalgia great?

mothman

09/26/2014 at 08:11 PM

I love nostalgia. If only I could remember it. 

KnightDriver

09/26/2014 at 03:49 PM

A month of my life was consumed by Wizardry.
I still have nightmares about the dragon eating me in Adventure for Atari 2600.
I have the urge to punch anyone that says Crossbow isn't the best shooter of all time.
Games stopped being good after Atari/Colecovision/Intellivision and arcades were around.
And I'm wrong. Wolfenstein: New Order is way beter than Crossbow. My childhood sucked. Waaa!

Casey Curran Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 04:22 PM

My childhood was awesome. And my life is still awesome. That's the difference between me and the people you're addressing: I didn't become a miserable human being

mothman

09/26/2014 at 06:42 PM

What the Greenman said x 3

Blake Turner Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 10:15 PM

You are miserable deep down. Mainly because you can't be closer to me and my awesomeness.

V4Viewtiful

09/26/2014 at 05:14 PM

My childhood only sucked when I became a teenager, The 90s ruled!

Blake Turner Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 10:14 PM

I think the 90s ruled too... but thats because I was also a kid then. Most people who weren't kids then tend to think the nineties sucked. It's just like the 80's, but darker! 

V4Viewtiful

09/27/2014 at 01:51 PM

I think you meen eXtreeeme!

mothman

09/26/2014 at 06:44 PM

There are still great new games, there are still great new bands, there are still great new books and beer is pretty good too. :P

Oh and even if Mario 64's controls are antiquated they still work the same way they did when I loved it back then so why would I stop loving it now. It was a milestone then and it remains a milestone.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 10:07 PM

Anything designed for the N64 controls horribly now. Seriously, what were they thinking with that controller? I mean Mario 64 has some of the best level design and music in the business, but fuck those controls right off. Same with N64 Zelda's. Thank god for Ocarina of Time for the 3DS. Now they just need to release majora's mask and I'll be set for life.

mothman

09/26/2014 at 11:03 PM

OK, the controller wasn't the best one I've ever used or maybe it's a toss up between it and the DC controller for worst controller, uhm but the original Xbox controller sucked pretty badly too. Yep, O0T on the 3DS is great and Majora's Mask could be cool as well.

asrealasitgets

09/26/2014 at 08:08 PM

I was thinking back to one of your blog posts about how new 2D Mario Games are always given high marks and praise even though they don't really evolve the formula that much except for upgrades, and games like Rayman Origins aren't given the same praise, even though it does a lot more with the 2D platformers than New Super Mario, visually and in terms of controls and characters, plus it utilized more functions from the gamepad. I believe there was also a rhythm game level with rock music or something. 

My point is that Rayman tried new things with 2D, while Nintendo played it safe with nostalgia. Even if you didn't like Rayman, it was a step forward for platformers and playable on almost every console. You might not think the two are comparable, but I wish Nintendo would have done more with 2D Mario other than remaking the same games over and over again. I really enjoyed Mario Kart 8, Smash Bros, and Mario U but it's just repackaged Nostalgia and we keep falling for it.  

I would be interested in seeing an evolution from Super Mario World. Of course there was a Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island wish had a new gimmick, that crying baby thing, or even Warioland which had open world exploration in some cases.

I have to say the best part of this gen is the ability to play all the things,new and old, sometimes free, like all the MMOs that have gone Free to Play and has been eating all my play time.  

Blake Turner Staff Writer

09/26/2014 at 10:13 PM

Yeah. I remember playing New Super Mario Bros and having a blast with it. Then I played nEw Super Mario Bros 2 and New Super Mario Wii. They are literally the same fucking game and it's kind of ridiculous.

 There are tonnes of music levels in Rayman. At least one for each world, and they're all fucking amazing.

 And you're right. F2P MMOs get a bad wrap, but they've given me tonnes of enjoyment. I adore Tera Online's PvP. Planetside 2 is great. Hearthstone is the best game I haven't paid a cent for. Actually it's one of the best games full stop. Free to Play is pretty dang awesome.

 

asrealasitgets

09/26/2014 at 10:36 PM

I mean, if I was a kid right now, oh man I'd feel so lucky. You also have MOBAs, STEAM and tons of emulators. Not to mention twitch and youtube for sharing with other players with similar tastes. Now is a great time to be a gamer. 

I also read a criticism about Mario WiiU that it re-used art assets from the Wii version, which if true is kind of shitty.

In any case, the only level that really stood out in Mario Wii U was that painted world level that looked like a Vangough painting. Wish to have seen more of this.
 

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