PixlBit

Hey guys, remember that time I watched a terrible Hallmark Christmas movie? I’m doing it again. And again. And . . . again. I’m going to watch a bunch in the next month. I don’t know how many or how often or which ones, so you will have to stick to checking www.pixlbit.com every week for updates. We all know they're bad; here's why...

 

A Christmas Proposal (2008). Like the movie mentioned above, this one also has the small town underdog vs heartless big city fatcat angle:

 

Two lawyers dueling over a proposal to turn a quaint mountain town into a ski resort (they are former childhood sweethearts). Lisa is fighting to protect the hamlet, big city attorney Rick represents the developer who wants to plow it under. But when a car accident forces Rick to stick around, the small town, and his former beloved, begin to work their magic on him.

It’s got a 4.8 on IMDB and Tom Arnold prominently on the DVD cover. I still haven’t really come to grips with "Carpool," which, by chance, has the same exact IMDB score. I am prepared for the worst.

 

* * * * *

Rick and his gf Regan go the townhall meeting to debate the proposal. One of the townsfolk Lisa (Rick’s ex) wants to keep things as they are and the small city values. Remember that one time when the town helped some lady find her lost dog? But if they let Tom Arnold do the changes, then they’ll have more revenue for services. Remember when I had to drive you to the hospital 15 miles away when you got pneumonia? Hang on to your hats, this movie brings the plot dilemmas like you never even seen. It also dialogue that is lulzy in odd, sporadic bursts.

 

Afterwards there’s some kind of getogether (Rick used to live in the small town). Regan calls the town a pit, apparently not minding to insult everyone in the room. Lisa says “I guess we can’t all be ambulance-chasers and move to the big city can we?” Regan hits back with how Rick is moving up in his career and successful and Lisa counters with “Small price to pay for selling your soul!” Owned so bad. Reee-ow! Hiss!

 

Next, he and Regan end up at the bowling alley and when he gets her a drink she says, “That’s not what I ordered.” He responds, apparently channeling his inner Michael Scott: “Just. Drink it." And then the scene moves on like nothing happened. It was unexpectedly brilliant.

 

Then a little while later it briefly goes from lulzy to bizzare-o. There’s a scene where Regan and Lisa hang out to get a Christmas tree. “We just thought a little girl time is a good thing” WTF. That is a direct quote. Regan asks her in the car why they broke up. WHAAT. I’m pretty sure women don’t do things like that in real life. I’m pretty sure that in real life, these two would not want to even stand in the same building as the other and if they did, everyone else within a 50-yard radius would be completely uncomfortable and forced to take sides in a series of neverending, petty disputes.

Then it goes back to the lulz. Another of my "fav" scenes is when Lisa is on her laptop by herself while Rick and his ex are hanging out.

The old-school dial-up sound effect is heard while she says “This is like the middle ages.” That's totally realistic dialogue. It's funny cuz it's true.

 

Combining horrible and terrible into one creation, horrterrble, is the only way to describe it. There is so much horrterrbleness that the people on IMDB can’t quite come to a consensus on any particular fault:

 

by smh1026 » Sat Dec 7 2013

They make these movies about Christmas and especially this one which is supposed to be in a mountain town with a ski resort. The entire time, the trees are thick with GREEN leaves and there are even flowers planted all around. Now, I live in NC which doesn't always get a lot of snow, but it's Dec 7th and not one of my trees has a leaf on them. This is my one pet peeve and I think it's a legitimate one.

Legitimate maybe, but relatively small compared to the horrterrble characters and general plot points:

 

by kristen1165 » Sat Nov 9 2013

They pretend like they're just sweet, nice, innocent country bumpkins, but they're total manipulative jerks. Ragan wasn't very pleasant, but I almost can't blame her.

It seems as if they were all so offended that Rick wanted to get out of that crap town after college that they were determined to hate anything that comes from a city setting, that they didn't even want to give Ragan a chance. They couldn't even bother to pronounce her name right when they knew darn well what it was. Maybe she would have been nicer if she felt more welcomed.

I mean, are we supposed to root for them? Because I didn't. I was hoping that not only did they not save their town, but that they actually pushed it into bankruptcy.

 

Yup. There’s really no one to root for. None of them are particularly interesting, and there’s no reason to like the small town. It’s just, his gf is annoying, therefore the small town is better and his ex is better, by default. Story!

There are a few attempts at humor by bringing in David DeLuise, but those moments are swamped by the movie’s 87 other minutes. How about you stick to the greeting cards, ya Hallmark hacks!

 

by bond66-141-878233 » Thu Dec 15 2011

I think the blonde woman and Reagan?s roles should have been switched around. The blonde was a huge beyotch and Reagan was just trying to update the backwards hillbilly town.
Plus what was up with them switching RAY-gan and REE-gan over and over??? They acted so douche-baggy about it when they were the ones saying her name the wrong way. They mispronounced it so many times I forgot which was the correct way by the end lol.

 

Another visionary IMDB commenter I can agree with.

 

In case you couldn’t see it coming, Rick and his small-town ex (Lisa) slowly get back together and Lisa ends up being a total bee-hatch anyway and leaves. Then because he’s in love, he has Lisa help him ruin his own development deal with Tom Arnold.

After being told off over the phone, Tom just sits in the chair and goes, “I’m gonna miss him.”

Sometimes I wonder if Hallmark's experience in the greeting card business doesn't quite carry over into the field of filmmaking.

 * * * * *

The saving grace is that it’s only 88 minutes long, 2 of which are bloopers at the end. So there’s that. I think IMDB's 4.8/10 is a fair score, but I’d knock it down to 2 or 3. I hated it, but I was expecting worse. It could be worse. Stay tuned. IT WILL GET WORSE.