PixlBit

 So, 2014 sucked ass for games – unless you're a Wii-U owner, to which I say: shut the fuck up you smug cunts, it took 2 years for your system to not be a waste of time. And the controller is still stupid and hurts my hands. But I still want one. But... fuck you, this is a metal blog!

And unlike video games, metal was AWESOME this year. Making this list was extremely difficult because so much good stuff came out. And since this list was so difficult, you will read it. And you will enjoy it. Bastard.

While it was awesome though, 2 of my favourite bands released terrible albums. I'm looking at you, Cynic and Opeth. Fuck you both. I'm not asking either of you to go back to metal, but please make an album that isn't either following the trends of every other similar band (Opeth) or sound completely half assed and uninspired (Cynic). YOU BOTH STARTED/PIONEERED ENTIRE GENRES!

 

10. Mastodon – Once More Round the Sun

This album has the worst song Mastodon has ever produced. Hell, maybe the worst song of the year. Maybe even this decade. The rest of the album is fucking awesome though, so how the hell did they end up with a track that even Avenged Sevenfold would be ashamed of? It stands out like a sore thumb, and sounds like nothing else on the album. It's fucking putrid.

Really, that's the main reason this album is so far down. It should be top 5, but The Motherload sucks. It's awful. And Mastodon should feel ashamed. Especially when this album has some FREAKING AMAZING tracks, like Chimes At Midnight, which is utterly epic.

So get this album, it's awesome. But skip track 2. Seriously. It's bullshit.

 

9. Septicflesh – Titan

Ah Septicflesh. They seem to hire the guy who does the soundtrack for Dark Souls to work the strings, and then form a metal album around it. This album doesn't quite sound as manic and “Dark Souls-y” as the previous ones, but it's a kickass album nonetheless.

 

8. Troldhaugen - Obzkure Anekdotez for Maniakal Massez

I found out about these guys because of Angry Metal Guy, and he described them thusly: Imagine if Finntroll, Diablo Swing Orchestra, and Unexpect tripped on acid together.” I was sold.

AND THESE GUYS ARE AUSTRALIAN!!!

 

7. Insomnium – Shadows of a Dying Sun

You know what, I'll just out and say it: Insomnium is one of, if not the best Melodic Death Metal band still kicking. The clean vocals are quite welcome, and the bound sounds weirdly uplifting in this album. THEM RIFFS!

 

6. Primordial – Where Greater Men Have Fallen

Whoo! Primordial are back, baby! They're last album was mildly disappointing, but this album shows that these gods of epic metal are not going to falter! Yeah it's their usual mix of mid tempo subtly celtic inspired Black Metal with clean vocals (that's right you pussies, if you don't like harsh vocals, you might actually enjoy these guys!) - albeit stripped back and simplified.

Put simply, it's Primordial doing what they do best: writing kickass songs about crumbling empires and wars long since past.

 

5. Soen – Tellurian

Emotional Progressive Metal that eskews wankery in favour of songcraft. It sounds like a mix between Tool and Opeth but without harsh vocals. It's an absolutely outstanding album that had me listening again and again. And again and again and again. And again. And well, again I guess.

 

4. Behemoth – The Satanist

Well this might just be the most evil sounding record I've heard in a while. Also... wait... Behemoth are making good albums again? When did this happen? Regardless this album is hypnotically evil, a slow paced onslaught of heaviness that will kick your ass while being introspective and solemn about it.

Also, can we just stop to admire that production? I feel like a huge reason metal is so obscure is often times the production – especially in the extreme genres. This knocks it out of the park. It has harsh vocals, but you can understand damned near every word even if you're not paying close attention. Unlike a lot of music in this genre, the guitars aren't ridiculously trebly or overpowering, and everything just feels right! Goddamnit, this album is awesome!

 

3. Ne Obliviscaris – The Citadel

Damn! Two Aussie bands on this list. Go us! Ne Obliviscaris is back with their brand of pretty metal, merging classical music with metal, and continuing the Progressive Metal tradition of being as pretentious as humanly possible. Seriously, google the track names on this thing. They're fucking ridiculous.

Anyway, this album is more focused than their previous album. It has direction, and it's far more refined and dare I say mature. I'm not fussed on the harsh vocals though. They do excellent black metal shrieks, so why go to the death metal growls that they clearly aren't as good at? Their clean singing is MUCH better this time around, and far more prominent.

 

2. Agalloch – The Serpent and the Sphere

It's freaking Agalloch. These guys are my second favourite band of all time, and they're back with an album that pissed a lot of people off. I don't actually know why to be honest. I guess it's just because it's not game changing or revolutionary like every other one of their albums has been. Either way, it's not their worst, and even the worst of Agalloch is pretty darn great.

 

1. Panopticon – Roads to the North

Their last album was a cool novelty that didn't quite come together. The recording was awful – even for their chosen genre, and they used recorders or something that sounds like a recorder, and as far as I'm concerned, that's a crime that freak even Charles Manson out.

But BAM! Along comes Roads to the North, and it absolutely flaws me. Mixing Bluegrass, American Folk music and Black Metal into one hell of an awesome and emotive cocktail, these guys have truly learnt from their mistakes and made one of the best black metal albums of the year, if not all time.