PixlBit

I've had this question asked of me at times so I figure I might as well use this moment to explain why I despise the Half-Life series. And for those wondering, yes this is a reposting of the original reason why I despise Half Life. I still get this question asked of me every now and then so I thought this would be a good time to reiterate the reasons. And why my feelings for this game have been downgraded from “hate” to “despise”. Perhaps there is hope for me in being able to heal from this age old betrayal. But first and foremost, some obvious reason the reason why I don’t hate or despise this game:

I don't despise it because the main character is a mute.

I don't despise it because Half-Life 3 has yet to see the light of day

I don't despise it because it used tech that still wows people today

I don't despise it because it helped usher in the game series Counter Strike

I don't despise it because the games are so short

And

I don't despise it because it started out on PC.

To understand the reason why, one has to go way back to the Sega Dreamcast era to fully understand my (petty) hatred for the series as a whole. You see I was one of those bright eyed youths that looked forward to the Half-Life game release for the Dreamcast. Not because it was a series I was looking forward to, but because in its creation it helped not only prove to myself but to my other gamer friends (who were PC gamers) that consoles were getting powerful enough to warrant game releases for that system. Games that would normally stay on the PC hardly ever saw a console release and if they did they were subpar at best or dreadful at worst. (Ultima on the SNES is a great example of this) Despite the fact that some PC games had found their way on the Dreamcast, thanks to Windows CE, Half-Life helped signal that gaming consoles could pull off graphics that were usually reserved for the PC gamers out there.

So I waited with anticipation for this game's release. I reserved my copy at Baggages, read up on the game in every game magazine. Even ate up every word from the Official Dreamcast Magazine. Even with fear that they system might DIE before the game's release; I kept hope that it would see the light of day. During that time we all felt that the DC was on its last legs, despite the fact that the system still had a good number of future game releases under its belt. Even when the latest article from ODM was saying the game might ship early, without any multiplayer functions, just so it could make launch I believed them.

But then it happened. The Dreamcast was KIA and the slate of future release titles began to shrink.

Even then I hoped that Half-Life would still make it, if only to be a final gift to us loyal DC owns that bought the system at launch. Even when I heard rumors that were saying that the game was finished, with multiplayer following in a few months at a discount price, I held out hope.

I think we all know what happened next don't we?

My friends made sure that I'd never forget that not only did the DC die, but that the very game I was heralding as the bridge between PC and console gaming, was never going to come.

Eventually I learned that the game had indeed been finished but instead of releasing it, they decided to write off the project as a tax break figuring they'd make more money off of that then trying to sell the game on a now dead system.

I don't think I ever got my reservation money back.

After that I was in a very foul mood because of this. I had hoped and waited for this game only for it to be cancelled. So what do I do I thought? I wasn't going to play this game so who do I blame? The game maker? The publisher? Sega?

In the end I decided to hate on Half-Life itself. Why? At the time it was the easiest thing to blame given how we wouldn’t know the whole story about Half-Life DC’s cancelation. Yes petty I know but because of that one event I started hating the series. Sure I could've downloaded the game off the internet (by then the game had been pirated) but I didn't want to go thru the trouble plus I didn't know how to do stuff like that.

So that's the reason why I hate Half-Life. I know it's a real stupid, petty reason. I've been told that the game isn't that great (load times are real long) but it still messed me up just the same. I didn't even buy the Orange box, even though I wanted to play Portal, just because of my unwarranted hatred for Half-Life.

Over the years I’ve been told I should move on and let go of my unhealthy hatred for Half-Life. And over the years I will admit I have softened toward the series. Not because I’m missing out on something grand or that this game is on everyone’s list of “Games you need to Play” list. But because it’s been so long and I should just let bygones be bygones. It happened so long ago and perhaps I should listen to Elsa from Disney’s Frozen and just “Let it go.” Plus I don’t rail as much on the game or the series as much as I used to. Perhaps old age is making me wiser or the passage of time has helped to heal this age old betrayal, I can’t honestly say which. Still just the same I can’t bring myself to play it or end my self-imposed embargo of Half-Life. So instead I’ll downgrade my feelings of this game from “Hate” to just “Despise”.

What? It’s a start! Change can’t happen overnight. But I get the feeling that if I’m ever able to get a hold of one of those bootleg copies of Half-Life DC, complete with official looking mockup of a game release, I may just buy it and let the true healing begin. Who knows? I may just buy the PS2 version after that point. But till that time comes I despise the precious Half-Life and have no qualms in using my Xbox version of Half-Life 2 as my tea cup coaster.

BaD Thought of the day:

When will they release Half-Life 3 anyway?

Ta-ta

"N"