PixlBit

Alone in the Dark is a very interesting game series. It  was a puzzle horror series that I really didn't know too much about until I watched a retsupurae on the first couple of games. So in 2008 Alone in the Dark was revived by Atari. How did it turn out? Well if you have a PS3 then for less than $10 you can pick up the vastly superior Inferno Edition. In fact, I would recommend it. It's a solid 7/10 game...it has it's flaws, but definitely is the version you should play...the Wii version however...not so much. And today I will discuss why.

The game begins with Edward Carnby, a paranormal investigator and the main character, being taken to the roof of the building he is to be killed in. The guard is killed by an unseen force, allowing Edward to escape. He has amnesia and doesn't remember anything. As he wanders the building looking for a way out, he witnesses several people being killed or possessed by "demonic" forces. During his search for an exit, he meets Sarah Flores, an art dealer (city planner in the PS2/Wii version). Together, they make their way to the parking garage, where they find Theophile Paddington, an old man who claims to know what’s going on. He says that the chaos in the building was caused by a stone that, until recently, was held by Edward. It had been taken from Edward by a man named Crowley, who released its power. Paddington has the stone now, and finally states that in order to end the chaos, Edward must follow the "Path of Light", before it is too late.

The three of them take a car from the garage and head out into the city, finding it in the same kind of chaos as the building they just left, after outrunning an apocalyptic earthquake with giant fissure wiping out the streets as it follows them they crash the car in Central Park. There, Paddington claims that he lacks the strength to continue. He hands the stone over to Edward and asks him and Sarah to meet him at the museum, then kills himself.

On the way to the museum, Edward finds out that his last name is Carnby. He tells his name to a doctor that he meets who tends to his wounds. As the doctor checks Edward’s medical history, he informs Edward that the only Edward Carnby in his records disappeared in 1938.

At the museum, the ghost of Paddington explains more about the stone. It contained Lucifer after he was cast out of heaven, until Crowley released him. Lucifer now wants to use the stone to bring about the end of the world. Paddington tells Edward that there is a secret in Central Park that will allow Edward to stop Lucifer. As Edward makes his way back to Central Park, Sarah remains at the museum, e-mailing excerpts from Paddington’s diary that she believes will help Edward. Edward eventually finds a temple hidden under Belvedere Castle and after completing the trials inside, he meets Hermes, an immortal who holds a stone similar to the one that Edward has.

Edward and Hermes return to the museum to find Crowley holding Sarah at gunpoint, demanding Edward’s stone. Edward shoots Crowley in the head, then Hermes opens a cavern in the museum that leads to Lucifer’s gateway to reality. Hermes combines his stone with Edward’s then tells Edward that Lucifer will soon be reincarnated. As Lucifer begins to take over Edward’s body, Sarah grabs the stone to prevent Edward from being possessed. At this point, the player is presented a choice to shoot Sarah to prevent her from being possessed, or do nothing. If the player chooses to shoot Sarah, Edward becomes possessed by Lucifer. Otherwise, Edward and Sarah hug and say goodbye as Sarah is taken over. Lucifer, now possessing Sarah, taunts Edward and asks him how it feels to be alone, to which Edward responds, "I'm used to it", and walks away as the game ends. It is unknown what happens to Edward, Sarah, and Hermes.

So there you go I spoiled the game for you. Yes I'm that kind of guy. I do this because A: you'll probably never play this game. And B: You won't want to. The game has two things going for it. The first is the chapter selection, allowing you to say fuck it and just get to the horrible ending anyways. The second is the music. It's from grammy award winning mystery of bulgarian voices. I actually got the soundtrack edition of this game for like $10. There are 8 tracks on the soundtrack CD so essentially if for say I'm paying $1 per song...then I spent $2 too much on this fucking game.

Let's talk about some of the terrible aspects in this game. First, the voice acting is D grade. It's awful and cheesy. The controls are also something to be desired. In fact in the very first part of the game I died climbing down a rope from a building. I wondered why I kept dying, and it dawned on me that only poor controls can send me falling to my death over and over again.

Ammo management is essential, but the game provides you the lack of means to defend yourself properly. The motion controls when swinging a chair or fire hydrant are undetectable. You also get a special sight option by pressing the minus button. Closing your eyes allows you to see invisible enemies. This is especially problematic in the heat of the moment.

Puzzles are a chore and mostly involve your inner pyromaniac. Puzzles go from set such and such on fire, controlling fire, or even extinguishing it to set another. It's a fun concept in theory, but ultimately you'll kill yourself or slowly down from burns due to lack of treatment from failing to bandage yourself or just not having any bandages.

Now for the worst thing about this game. Driving sections. Oh boy...I thought driving section in Disaster: Day of Crisis were bad, but this...this beats it by a million. It's so uncontrollable, so god awful, so mind numbing that you should avoid them at all cost. You will drive around avoiding obstacles at break neck speed. You'll veer left and right, crashing into everything. And you'll have to start over due to lack of checkpoints. I have never played something so broken. The driving sections are hell.

This game has everything wrong with it. The graphics are bad, the controls are terrible, driving is broken, and puzzles get boring and tedious. 

Review: Set this game on fire/10

Okay well with that done? What can I use to torture myself tomorrow?