PixlBit

You know...just when I've seen it all something surprises me. Anime is great. I love anime. I've watched hundreds of anime series, and Beyblade was one of them. Granted I was in a anime phase at the time, so everything was cool. I mean it's a show about kids launching fucking magical spinners into an arena for gladiator-esque battles to the death! Of course anime doesn't translate as well in real life. In reall life you watch tops spin around and hit each other out of the ring, but as a kid you pretend that it's like the show and "let it riiiiip!". The show...also doesn't translate into a video game...and today I tell you why.

Now I'll be honest here...The plot baffles me. I have not watched  Metal Fusion so I have no idea who any of the characters are..nor do I care. Basically some of these beybladers get kidnapped into competing against each other and some anime friendship stuff happens. It's relatively filler and the voice acting is hit or miss. I would have payed attention to it more, but honestly even the episode that comes with the game is better...not that I knew what was happening in that either...and it's completely unrelated to the games plot...so I have no idea why they added it in. My only guess...Hudson realized they were getting subsidized by Konami and said 'Fuck it" Alas Hudson I knew you...

The game tries to make more out of the basic top spinning gameplay and fails to achieve any depth. Half of the game is in your launch, but the physics do not feel like they match with your input. You pick a starting target and the angle from which you will launch your top, and then you make a single, swift draw of the Wii Remote to launch it. Simply watching would apparently be too boring, so the game introduces three options that players can abuse. This only makes the game far too easy.

First, players can "juke" their tops with a quick swipe of the Wiimote, at the cost of a little bit of the top's speed. The direction you shake the Wii remote is where the top goes, but I found this doesn't translate. Second, collisions or near-misses build up a super gauge that allows players to temporarily boost a stat, though do little in the game. Finally, the game provides a way to trigger the anime's special moves by using a full gauge and a waggle motion. This is frustrating because it sometimes triggers a juke ruining your timing. If your move has one or more opposing tops in range, the move triggers with a dramatic cut scene, which looks pretty terrible compared to the series. These moves are supposed to turn a fight around, but they rarely do so even when used by the opposing AI.

Better than LSD!

The graphics tend to be extremely simplistic and boring. The sound effects sound ludicrously unrealistic. The music sounds as if it's trying to copy the show, but fails to do anything in that regard. If you're looking to let it rip...buy the toys...are better yet...a dreidal

I'm worn out too...

Review: A Battle Fortress of Suckitude

Onto the next day! And the next game! What lies ahead of us?