PixlBit

So I guess I won an award from Snee for all this and many people felt like this year had a very fast BaD month. For me this month couldn't have gone slower, but maybe it's because after after about the 14th game or so...I lost that part of my conscience that tells you "Don't go and murder somebody!" Of course I'm ending where I started...with Data Design Interactive. Today is special for reasons that go beyond reality. I'm pretty sure that once you read this, my dying will....you'll understand why I decided to plunge myself into a padded cell at an asylum nearby. A special 3 for 1 on Myth Makers today!

The plot consists of The evil sinister Rebus  who has trapped the Myth Makers in the Orbs of Doom; you must complete his mind boggling challenges in order to save them. This quest will test your skill, tax your mind and your nerves.

The simplest way to describe Orbs of Doom is as a cheap, Super Monkey Ball rip-off, which is pretty bad considering that I hated Banana Blitz/Step & Roll. Using only the Wii Remote, I tilted my way through levels and obstacles that are 30,000 feet high. All the while I kept asking myself why am I in this orb? I don't know. Where am I? I don't know. Who am I? I don't know. And frankly...I'm not sure at the end of it I cared.

There is no map, no way to view an overhead of the level, absolutely zero control and you'll find yourself falling of courses many, many, many times. Seriously, the controls are so terrible that you'll constantly hold B to brake inching your way through levels. There is even a multiplayer if you have friends you hate and want them to suffer the pain you're enduring.

Review: Trapped in Orbs of DOOM!

Okay so now let's get into the terrible racer that is Super Kart GP. The controls are equally poor here. The camera is terrible and the collision detection is so broken, you'll wish you were facing off against the cheating boomerang A.I. of Mario Kart on 150ccc Mirror mode Special cup. Controls aren't to bad when you aren't hitting anything. However, if you hit something (and you will), it's pretty much over for you. Even minor collisions with an obstacle or hillside are enough to completely stop you dead, and you'll watch all your competitors pass you by as you attempt to recover from the crash. The recovery is impossible for two reasons – first, because the camera freaks out and loses track of you, and second, because the controls to back up into reverse and reset yourself don't seem to even register half the time.

 It also has basic, uninspired menus, worlds and characters lack detail. And well I don't know how I'd feel if I were the easter bunny, santa claus, or Frosty the Snowman, but I know I wouldn't take kindly to these idiots making a mockery of them. Also if you still have friends who dealt with your shenanigans in orbs of doom, Super Kart GP is here with a multiplayer option to make sure you don't have any afterwards.

Review: A Tacky Racer that crashes!

And now finally Trixie in Toyland. The evil Penumbra, leader of the Acrostic Riders has stolen the Myth Makers Orbs (not the doom related way) and has hidden it from Toyland. Trixie must explore every inch of Toyland and find the stolen orbs and return balance to the Myth realm. But its not going to be easy. Along her way, Trixie must do battle with killer clowns, rampaging robots, and hovering helecopters. And it all sucks so bad.

So if you remember my Anubis II review...let's just reuse that a second. Because they are the exact same freakin game. The controls are horrendous. It's so poor that jumping across even the most minor of gaps becomes terrible. I must repeat this...in case you have a sheer morbid curiousity to try this game...use the "Z" button. It also let's you jump and you don't have to shake the nunchuk. Remember these games will not...I repeat not tell you this.

And that's all I can take of this game. These games...DDI...can all go to hell....that's what I'd say if they weren't desined by the Devil himself. After all the first D stands in perfectly as Devil Design Interactive. And you know what...I'm glad that BaD is over. Now if you all will excuse me, I'm going to lock myself in a padded room full of alcohol, drugs, and enough of anything else that can possibly put me into a cold state of amnesia coma for a solid month

Analysis: Severe Psychological Damage From Overexposure to Bad Wii Games.

Thanks everyone for reading my blogs and hopefully you all enjoyed it more than I did. Seriously...I need to drink until I don't feel feelings anymore.