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 On 03/17/2013 at 12:51 AM by Casey Curran See More From This User » |
Gears of War: Judgement comes out this Tuesday. I’ll be holding off on it, but would like to get it later down the line, preferably if I have a friend to co-op with. But one thing about this game bugs me: That the developers thought Baird of all people deserves to star in a spin off. Baird is a bad character even by Gears of War standards.
Say what you want about Marcus Fenix, he fits the game well as someone who has gone through hell and back a few times. Baird, there’s nothing good about him except when Marcus tells him to shut up. So here’s five characters from other games who do not have their own game, but I would rather play as than Baird.
5. Nix (Infamous 2)
Look at that. Just fucking look at that. That has to be one of the worst character designs ever. Nix was a terrible character somehow made by the same guys who gave us Sly, Dimitri, and THE MURRAY! In fact, I may even say that she’s even more annoying than Baird. But she does have superpowers, which would make me want to rather play as her than Baird.
4. Johnny Sasaki (Metal Gear Solid series)
Johnny appears in Metal Gear Solid 1 and 2 before 4 fleshed out his character to turn him into a pussy. Want to know what he did in these two games? Shit himself. Still better than Baird.
Waluigi (various Mario spin-offs)
Ah, Waluigi. There was a Wario in Mario sports games, so there had to be a Luigi counterpart. The guy we got was the character no one picked. Still, a platformer with him would be better than Gears of Baird.
2. Disciple (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2)
He looks like Michael Bay with a lightsaber and his personality’s even worse. Obisdian kind of tried to make the whole naïve, but smart in other ways with a good heart guy, but it just didn’t work and made you want to test all your dark side powers on him. Basically as annoying as Baird even though it's in a different way. But he does have a lightsaber. Thus, he’s better than Baird.
1. Desmond (Assassin’s Creed series)
If there is one character who really cuts it close to being as bad as Baird without getting his own game, it’s Desmond. Well, technically you do play as him and control him, but it’s all about the ancestors he’s reliving. There are a few moments in the later AC games, but they always take a backseat to his ancestor, just like how you could technically play as Baird in Gears 3. Still, I had at least accepted that I would play as him for a full game at some point, can’t say the same for Baird. In fact, when I get around to Gears Judgement, I’ll make sure to have a friend play as Baird so I can take over COLE TRAIN BABY!!!!
Yeah, Baird is a pretty lame character to star in a game. This could have been a good opportunity to even star one of the female character. Despite the apparent contingent of fans who 'refuse to play as a women.' God forbid Gears of War tones down its dude-bro machoness!
I might get the game soon though as it comes with Gears of War 1 (which I don't own) in early copies. Then again, I can also get Gears 1 pretty cheap anywhere!
That would have been cool if they had Sam in it. And you can literally pick up Gears 1 for $5, unless you're dying to play Judgement, there's no reason to get it for that.
the problem with these alternates is none of them are taking as many steroids as Gears of War characters (necessary to survive the Gears universe). That would have to be priority #1 when making the switch. Disciple would need them injected directly into him every three hours for a couple weeks.
They need to "go on the cocktail" as my brother (a Gears fan) would say. 
Well, I'm not saying I'd rather have these guys in a Gears game. Just that a game starring them in their own franchise is a better idea than a Gears game starring Baird.
Well lets be honest almost all the Gears characters are bad so it was always slim pickings. Mind you as bad as I think Coltrane is I think he'd be better.
Don't be so hard on Nix she's more sympathetic to work with than the other woman, uh! I need tto finish this game
Nix looks retarded. WTF?! Is Infamous 2 any good? I thought the first game was alright. Baird must be pretty bad if a guy that crapped himself is better lol.
Infamous 2 is basically just more Infamous. I liked its powers and city more, but if you thought the first was just okay, you're going to think 2 is just okay.
I don't have much interest in this game anyway. I have the other gears games in my backlog. I've considered playing Gears 3 Mon night to celebrate 
a cheaper option.
Gears was a pretty good series, even if 3 felt like a step down outside its horde mode. I'll still get Judgement eventually.
I would have prefered playing as cole.
Cole Train would have been great to star. Gears' story may be terrible, but it did a great job feeling like some awesome cheesy 80's action movie that would have starred Stalone or Schwarzeneggar to make up for that.
Baird always seemed like "the dick" in the group. lol. Certainly dicks can be endearing in their own special way but for now I'm just not that interested in the guy.
Baird was many things. None of them particularly good.
No fucking way. I'd take Baird over Desmond any day of the week. Especially since People Can Fly are developing the game. Might actually be fun now...
Yeah, PTCF made Painkiller and it's one of my favorite shooters of all time. They have potential. Besides, Baird could grow on me like Deadpool did. At first I thought Pooly was a Spiderman ripoff who used cruder jokes but as I stayed with him I got to love him! (I swear it was in a non homoerotic way. Though Deadpool has a fine asss. Mmmmm! Mmmmm! See? I objectify both genders equally!)
I considered not putting Desmond on this list because he is terrible, but I just realized the only difference is we see more of him than Baird. If we only got a few comments out of Desmond, he wouldn't be seen as that bad.
This blog is hilarious, particularly the Sasaki entry.
Thanks.
I know I hate Nix more than Baird, but you make a good point. At least she has super powers. Fun blog.
a good list of terrible characters to play as ;)
Baird is a massive tool! That is so lame. The list you came up with was great. A real whos who of mediocrity! Lameness at it's very lamest.
So that is the same guy from the original trilogy. I haven't played it much and wasn't sure if it was truely him. I know it makes me sound dumb but sadly true.
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