Posted on 02/24/2015 at 09:52 PM
| Filed Under Feature
I have lost 30 pounds since my diagnosis, and that puts me at 60 pounds down from my largest back in 2013. I am very hopeful that I will beat this, and once I do I am not going back!
I learned a lot. It still hurts, and I still miss her. I keep thinking to myself that if I could go back 9 months with the knowledge I have things would have been great. Or if she had just waited a little longer before moving on. But this had to happen for me to learn. It wasn't just us breaking up; it was her moving on so completely and quickly, and me taking a lot of time to really evaluate myself and realize that there were changes that I needed to make.
Since recording this episode I have come to the realization that it is too late for us. Oh, she could eventually want to take me back, but that could take years. I can't sit around moping and feeling sorry for myself. I can take the lessons I learned and analyze them and make myself a better person, and that's what I choose to do. If she could see the man I have become already I think it would shock her, and if she ever meets the man that I plan to be at the end of this journey she may end up wishing that things had gone a different way.
The friend that I cried to gave me a great bit of wisdom. My girlfriend changed me for the better, and I get to keep that. She doesn't take it away along with her love. It is mine, and I will take that and expand on it until I feel like the person she always knew I could be. Thanks for the kind words, they mean a lot.