First let me preface this with a disclaimer: I'm not a zombie fanatic. I like Resident Evil and Dead Nation, but never got into either the Dead Rising or Left 4 Dead series. That said...
I've been playing nothing but Dead Island for almost 2 months now, so I couldn't disagree more with your opinion of this game... well, maybe I could. I do agree with you on a few of the things on the presentation end, mainy the fact that I loathed most of the NPC's (helpless, annoying douchebags, one and all). But none of the presentation isses ever got in the way of my fun. I could spend pages of time writing about where our opinions differ, but i'll try to keep what I have to say down to a couple of key points that are more about the facts.
First is the fact that, while you were playing this game for review, the version 1.3 patch became available on consoles (this is according to your 1up blog last Monday where you stated you were playing the game; the patch released the next day). This addresses a couple of points you make; namely the level gap issue (individuals can now choose to have zombies scale to their level, not the host's) and kicks now cost stamina. I realize these are only two issues out of many that you have a problem with, but it seems pretty irresponsible of you to put out this review when these two points were addressed, for all practical purposes, a full week before its publication.
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a quick side note:
This game is 2 months old now, but since there are many people out there who haven't played it I can understand why PixlBit would want to post a review, even at this late date. However, you could have made a distinction with this review by including the differences between the game at launch and the game after the 1.3 patch, not to mention possibly even making that the focus of the review. You, and the other staff at PixlBit, missed an opportunity here.
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Second, I have to wonder just how much of the game you actually played when you say that "almost every single woman on the island is wearing a bikini." The resort is only the first area of the game; you make no mention of the city or the jungle (where the women are dressed appropriately for the location) or the prison (where there are no women, period). Furthermore, you say that most zombie encounters involved you kicking them to the ground and then finishing them with a series of punches/kicks. This tells me one or more of three things:
1. You didn't get very far into the game. That strategy MIGHT work ok through most of the resort, but it becomes less effective once you hit the city. And regardless of the mileage you can get by using that technique, it's not very fun. Which brings me to...
2. You missed out on a lot of fun. Either you didn't take the time to seek out some good mods (which really isn't "seeking out" as most, if not all, of the best mods are either in places you'll be for quests/missions or given as rewards), or you chose not to use them. If you're telling me you'd rather kick and punch a zombie into submission instead of swatting them dozens of yards down the jungle path with a tesla sledgehammer, or slice them with a toxic machete and watch them helplessly puke their guts out... well, i don't know what to say about that except "your loss."
3. You weren't playing to your character's strengths. This touches on your dismissal of the rpg elements; you didn't even mention the skilltrees. Which again suggests you didn't get very far in the game because if you get only halfway down the combat tree of any character (which can be done as early as level 9 if you focus only on that branch from the start; more realistically it will likely happen somewhere between level 10-16,and level 20 at the latest) you get the headstomp ability. Once a zombie is on the ground it can be killed instantly with a headstomp instead of "pummeling them with my fists or a series of kicks." Incidentally, using headstomp also grants a few bonus xp (for the headsmash), so why would you choose to not use it? Likewise, why would you choose to use your fists instead of weapons based on your character's proficiency? There are plenty of workbenches scattered around with which you can repair, upgrade, and mod your weapons, and money isn't hard to come by after the first couple of hours. If you'd spent a proper amount of time with the game for review purposes, you would have found out that beating on a zombie with your fists is NOT as effective (or fun) as using a weapon, especially one geared toward your character's skills (and, even more especially, one that's been modded). I'm sorry to keep repeating myself, but again i'm having a hard time believing you even made it past the resort area.
Also, concerning your problem with level capped weapons - this is a loot game. Weapons don't level up with you, so being on the lookout for (and finding) a newer, better weapon to use is part of the fun. And if you find one that's a level too high for you at that moment (I've only come across one weapon, in over 400hrs of playtime, that was 2 levels higher than my current state) well so what, you have something else to look forward to when you gain that level. I just don't understand your complaint there.
You're a good writer, Jesse, and I usually enjoy your work. I respect your opinions, even if i don't agree with them. My problem isn't that you didn't like this game, my problem is that it seems pretty clear to me that you didn't experience enough of this game to qualify yourself to review it. That makes this a bad review. The fact that you excluded version 1.3 information, even though it was available in plenty of time before publication, supports this. The fact that the review gives no indication of gameplay experience past the first zone, but instead suggests the play experience of someone who hasn't even progressed past said zone, supports this. As someone who has an intimate knowledge of Dead Island, this review comes across to me as a quick and dirty effort to put some filler content on the site. I'm sorry, but it feels like you (and PixlBit) failed a test here.