PixlBit

This review is part of the 2014 Sh*tty Game Review Fest - read about the event here.

Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure is a tough nut to crack. On one hand, I can see where the developers were going with this and aiming it for children. On the other hand however, they made this game incredibly difficult to talk about considering the fact that I’m a grown man reviewing a game meant to be played by adolescent children. While Disney Princess comes through as a boring and extremely monotonous for my mediocrely functioning adult brain, it could still conceivably be a solid title for kids everywhere, probably.

Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure centers on your custom-built character, who is the apprentice to the Fairy Godmother. The adventure portion of the game revolves around a series of events that lead into the friendly Sprites transforming into horrible and mischievous Imps who are wreaking havoc all over the lands of Disney. Throughout your adventures you traverse the lands (and sea) to visit the likes of Cinderella, Rapunzel, Belle, Ariel, and Tiana. The story as a whole was simple, but still drove home the point in what needed to be accomplished as you progressed.

The custom princess creation is fairly straight forward and simplistic, but advancing through it actually stalled me for a while. It was in the creation phases in which I learned that the typical buttons for Accepting and Canceling actions were reversed, which surprisingly proved to be quite the obstacle to overcome in a weird and fascinating sort of way. No matter how far I progressed in the creation I accidentally kept undoing my creation of epic proportions, resulting in countless remakes. While it is a small hurdle, it actually proved to be a major annoyance as I attempted to choke this game down and push onward.

Once the creation phases were over, I was thrown in to a small tutorial section which introduced me to the very basics of the game: running, jumping, shooting magic that looked like bottle rockets, and the all-mighty twirl magic. After all was said and done, the game showed me around my amazing garden where I was able to plant numerous flowers as well as being able to randomly access the shop via a wishing well for various dresses and accessories I could wear in order to bring all ‘da boys to ‘da club. The gardening aspect of the game acts as a sort of expansion upon the game itself in terms of a post-game activity, but it turns out to be as boring as it sounds when you literally watch flowers grow for fun.

Thankfully, there’s more to Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure other than simply gardening and accessorizing. Once you venture into the various realms of famous Disney characters, you’re met with numerous puzzles and obstacles to overcome. For the most part, these challenges are easy to topple with little to no effort required, but they were rather over-bearing and tedious as they are continually and mercilessly thrown at you. Navigating is beyond easy as well, for no matter how lost you are, you can always follow a gilded vapor trail to your next destination.

While the challenges were never tough, they offered no difficulty hike and often proved to be impossible to lose. While this sounds great for children of all ages, I can honestly say that it hinders any type of learning experience that may be offered within the game. If you’re unable to properly match your colors within three tries, the puzzle will instantly reset itself so you can get it on the first try next time. If you’re unable to somehow follow the easiest of stylus swipes during the dancing portions of the game (I’m fairly certain my beard shrank during these particular sections), the game continues on as if nothing ever happened and the high and mighty princesses of Disney shall never judge you for your inferior swaying abilities. Sure, it’s a minor complaint to never truly lose to a kids game, but it had an interesting psychological effect on me while playing that resulted in never really trying to first-guess my answers, instead I relied on randomly pressing buttons until the answer popped up and I could effortlessly proceed.

Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure has a bit of everything for the youngest of gamers, but absolutely no noteworthy qualities for gamers over the age of ten. With throwbacks to classic Disney movies and characters as well as copious amounts of slightly varied puzzles, Disney Princess is able to show variety yet never offer a decent challenge, proving to be adequate for young gamers who want their intelligence insulted and grow up in a world where they are never challenged or faced with the consequence of giving a wrong answer. Just take my word for it, and never play this game if you have the slightest inkling of being too old for it.