PixlBit

I'm going to be 100% clear, I didn't read this. I'm getting this game on Tuesday when I get paid and I'm avoiding reviews until then. I will totally be back to read this review when I play the game, and reply to this message accordingly.

 However, I think my biggest problem with Zelda games is the hype around them. I didn't grow up with Zelda, and so some of the charm of the nostalgia is lost on me. I didn't really start playing them until a few years ago, and I while I can see why they are good well made games, they're also all the same game. Which is also totally a criticism you can hurl at Dark Souls. There's little differences, but they're basically the same.

 The difference is that I was there for the first Dark Souls and it resonated with me. I feel the way about that game that many people feel about the Zelda series and so I totally get the love, they just aren't feelings I share.

 Also, so many games I loved and enjoyed before playing Zelda took things from that series and so it doesn't quite feel revolutionary to me in the way it does to many others. I've played Dark Souls. I've played Metroid. I've played Tomb Raider, and Darksiders, and Beyond Good and Evil and many games like that.

 What I'm trying to say is that to me, this game seems different. It seems like a breath of fresh air for not only Zelda, but the industry. So I'm going to go in blind this time and hopefully get some of the joy other people do from the series. This seems like they honestly made a Zelda for people like me and I am keen as fuck to try it.

I'm also typing this comment out so you'll reply to me and I'll remember to read this when I've played the game.

Oh no! So if she gets too pretentious and up her own butt I'll have to get Quagmire to come over and yell at her for 10 minutes!

It's mixed in with the BLOOD!

 Also, I Saw the Devil isn't horror, so check that shit out if ou like action-ish thrillers.

I really don't know where that stereotype comes from, but bondage definitely isn't a gay exclusive thing haha.

 I read one of his novels recently called Imajica, which is fantasy horror with extra dimensions and weird orc like beings with ak-47s. It was cool, if a little fucked up.

 And man... I remember now. I really need to see that film again!

It Follows is definitely one of the best horror films of the decade, definitely the best American Horror film of the decade at least.

 I want to see Get Out so badly, but it's not out in Aus until late April.

Man... Caliban would be an awesome name for a dog when I get one.

Part of what I like about Clive Barker was that he was very openly gay as early as the 70s, and yet was still adored in horror circles despite putting a lot of his experiences and wish fulfillment into thse books and films. I don't remember much about Hellraiser, so I can't recall any specific reference from that, but rewatching Nightbreed recently, that movie is almost entirely about homosexuals being persecuted, coming out, and then getting revenge on the public at large. Although, he replaced homosexuality with being an awesome movie monster...

 I'm definitely going to have to watch the original Hellraiser again though. It's been entirely too long. I have the book it's based on but I haven't read it, and I have almost all of Barkers books too...

 I find trailers for films that verge on horror are often terrible. I almost didn't want to post the trailer for Martyrs because it makes it look like a generic as fuck horror movie, which most trailers do. Green Room's trailer really doesn't do it justice at all. The movie isn't a horror movie, it's a thriller in the vein of David Fincher's Panic Room, except a bit more brutal and a hell of a lot more suspenseful. I think you'll love it honestly.

You should also check out that other directors films, like Blue Ruin and I Don't Feel at Home in this World Anymore. The former is a cool indie thriller that has some early Tarrantino vibes but is really subdued with barely any dialogue, and the latter is an insanely awesome dark comedy about a girl with depression who has her house broken into and becomes a vigilante. And it has motherfucking Frodo in it. 

Do it. It's awesome - if you don't mind subtitles that it.

Yeah that's one thing I miss about 1up. And also that I could like blogs so people would know I enjoyed what they wrote even if I didn't have anything to say.

As in she's adorable but also a vicious killer who was adopted by a weird guy with a beard? Yeah that sounds about right.