This one's for you, asrealasitgets!
Well, we're a man down this week, but instead of leaving you lovely listeners hanging, Julian and Angelo have a special edition of Nerds Without Pants just for you. Yes, you! Come back next week for a bonus episode of NWP, followed by your regularly scheduled Panstless Ones. It's three weeks of rambling!
Only YOU can prevent mediocrity.
The only thing worse than knowing about an import game you’ll never get to play is receiving the inferior sequel that you do get to play. Such is the case with The Firemen 2: Pete & Danny. Originally released in Japan in 1995 on the PlayStation, the game was recently re-released as an import download on PSN, courtesy of MonkeyPaw Games. In a nutshell, the game is more or less an overhead shoot ‘em up that focuses on fighting fires instead blowing up aliens. It’s a novel idea to be sure, but one that wasn’t executed nearly as well as it was in the previous game on the Super Famicom (aka: Super Nintendo).
Shipwrecked.
PolyPusher Studios, the Irish developer behind Montague’s Mount, describes its latest project as a “psychological rollercoaster ride through isolation, desolation, and one man’s tortured mind.” Its perception of the game it created doesn’t quite align with the game it actually released, where the rollercoaster is more like rush hour traffic, and the only tortured mind is my own. Montague's Mount is a first-person adventure/puzzle game about a man who awakens on the beach of a deserted fishing island, unable to remember who he is or why he’s there. Promising although the concept sounds, concept only goes so far without the execution to back it up.
Femme Fatale
After 2012’s disappointing Assassin’s Creed III, I was beginning to get burned out on the franchise. The idea of Assassin’s Creed III: Liberation on the PlayStation Vita seemed interesting as it decided to tell the story of a French-African heroine named Aveline, but the draw wasn’t enough to get me to invest in a Vita solely for that game. However, with tales of Assassin’s Creed IV restoring faith to much of the series’ fan base, I grew curious once more. In an attempt to rediscover my interest in the Assassin’s Creed franchise, I went into Assassin’s Creed: Liberation HD – an HD port of 2012’s Vita adventure – with some optimism. Thankfully, I wasn’t disappointed.
The flash clone died soon thereafter.
As a huge Halo fanboy, I’m happy to take any non-Master Chief content the good brand managers at Microsoft are willing to toss out there. After getting fairly hooked on the Halo novels, and finding that the universe created to support a space marine shooter was actually pretty interesting, I’ve often pined for actual games that use this setting in completely new ways. Halo 3: ODST was a fantastic side-step and Halo Wars reportedly made a great effort at a console RTS, but the latest attempt to get Halo characters not wearing green body armor on your Xbox, Halo: Spartan Assault, smacks of an easy cash grab.
Haven’t I been here before, over and over again?
Just imagine that you’re one of the most unlucky people in the world for a moment, and you’re walking along and a cute girl asks if you want to have a free try with a small lottery machine. Now let’s say you win for the first time in your life, and that prize just happens to be a transformation into God. That’s how the story goes for Renya, and unfortunately, it’s the last bit of luck you see throughout the rest of the game.
The most ‘90s gaming character out there, now in futuristic 3D.
It’s fascinating to go back to the original Sonic the Hedgehog after so many years and so many new entries in the series. These days, everyone wants to convince you that Sonic is a game all about speed. Without it, it’s simply not the same – not like the original titles on the Genesis. What the original game has reminded me of is that Sonic is a platformer first and foremost and a game about speed second. Very rarely does Sonic hit breakneck speeds in his debut; more often than not he’s taking calculated jumps in a sidescroller that’s merely more mobile than the one that features his Italian plumber counterpart.
Sweet eye candy with a bitter gameplay aftertaste
Forza Motorsport 5 is probably one of the most beautiful games I’ve played to date. Honestly, it’s not uncommon for me to stop paying attention when I should be braking into a turn, simply because the beautifully crafted background grabbed my attention -- much like a gorgeous woman gracefully striding past me on the sidewalk. And, just like how I often walk face-first into a sign or lamp post while gawking at a stunning woman, my Forza 5 car often slams into a concrete barrier while cruising at 200 mph with my focus on the magnificent graphics as opposed to the course ahead.
Get all emotional with teh Haloz.
Halo games have continuously fumbled the stories that justify Master Chief and crew blowing everything up. Somehow amongst this mess of in-game cut scenes, a colorful and interesting sci-fi universe with tons of potential was cobbled together, ready to be harnessed by a real pro. Karen Traviss has worked wonders with Halo’s raw materials in the final installment of the Kilo-Five trilogy, Halo: Mortal Dictata, giving us an action-packed book with moral quandaries and personal relationships injected throughout – intensely better than the clunky narratives the games foist on us.
“Feed me quarters.”
Oh, Space Harrier, how should I describe you? Should I compare thee to an endless runner? Thou art more lovely and insane. Rough controls do tire the limbs of any gamer, and this title’s fun supply is far too short. But the eternal summer of my nostalgia for this game shall never fade, nor will the death of the ‘80s cast shadows upon its uniqueness.
