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I'm afraid I've got some Bad News...
Come look into our crystal balls as we attempt to look into the future and predict E3. No, wait, come back! I promise you that this is an entertaining pre-E3 edition of Nerds Without Pants. We decided to dream up some wild (but plausible) wishes for the Big Three, and then do a reality check and talk about what we think will actually happen. Before that, Consumption Junction!
Defining the weak and the strong.
*This review contains minor spoilers*
It took about twenty five minutes into my play through of “In Harm’s Way” to realize that I hadn’t encountered any zombies yet. For that period of time, I was too caught up in the perilous situation that Clementine and the rest of the group found themselves in. This isn't a mark against it though; for me, it was a testament to its engrossing narrative. As each progressive event occurred, I became more and more engaged before being rewarded with a gruesome and gory finale. Episode 3 was another great chapter in Telltale’s Walking Dead series.
The other great way to park.
Oh, the rush of zipping around another car, missing its bumper by a tiny smidge, and slamming on the brakes as you pull into the perfect parallel spot before oncoming traffic T-bones you into oblivion! This is the heart-revving, nerve-rattling, airbag-exploding life of a Parking Star: a fantastical existence we can all now get a taste of thanks to Parking Star 3D! Alright, I can’t hide the fact that parking cars is lame, but thanks to my low expectations, after playing Parking Star 3D I almost feel like parking is really exciting.
One giant leap even smaller step into the content of this series.
I want to heap praise upon Moon Chronicles - Episode 1 for being the fantastic FPS nobody was asking for on the 3DS, but it’s tough to do so when there’s so little content. There’s no question that what’s presented is entertaining – it’s graphically sharp, it controls well, and it channels both Metroid Prime and Perfect Dark. However, clocking in at just a bit over an hour, just as you’re getting hooked, Episode 1 comes to an abrupt close.
Embrace the flames!
To help you cope with the encroaching demise of online Wii gaming, your PixlBit family is here to help you send the service off to its eternal existence before it all ends on May 20th. What better game to do this with than one of the few that had a significant online community: Mario Kart Wii. Join us on Thursday, May 15th starting at 9:00 p.m. EDT to play Mario Kart races until we puke blue shells. If all goes according to plan, we’ll also record the event so you can see how it played out from at least one other person’s perspective. To get in on the fun, just post your Mario Kart code in the comments and we’ll add it to a big list for everyone to tediously enter into their Wiis.
Where we talk about stuff. And things.
We're a man down this time, so listen to Julian and Patrick talk about a bunch of stuff that nerds who do not wear pants would talk about. What are those things? Good question?
Kill the skies.
The wonder of some indie games that go for that retro aesthetic is they kind of live up to our brain’s memories of what those old games were like, without the warts we seldom remember. Sort of like a period film, it might not be like how things really were, but while catering to our modern tastes, a finer piece of art is sculpted, one that has learned the mistakes of the past. Luftrausers is a game forged out of what once was – not only with its 8-bit aesthetic, but also with its satirical Nazi artwork. Both of these themes work for and against it, but overall what we have here is a great game that is a commentary not only on the past, but on the future.
Come see four PixlBit staff members unbox their crappy games on video!
Sometimes it's necessary in life to shake things up. The fact is, the PixlBit writers seem to have it too good, so Chessa and I (but mostly Chessa) concocted a little event for our own amusement. Rather than allow our writers to continue to cover the things they love, we've decided to force upon them the junk games that have been sitting around PixlBit HQ for ages.
“Sacred geometry.”
Every so often, I am lucky enough to play a game so delightful, so perfectly engineered for its platform, and so inspiring that I have to take a step back, stunned. While other arts such as literature and painting seem long in the tooth these days, clutching to cynicism and nihilism like a terminal patient clinging to the sheets in his bed, great games seem imbued with a sort of impossible optimism and generosity towards the human condition. Monument Valley, a game about redemption through sacred geometry, is one of those games.
