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Angry Birds + Tower Defense + Side Scrolling Beat ‘em up = Concept Over-saturation

When I first downloaded CastleStorm, I was expecting a tower defense game akin to the classic Flash games. What I found, however, was a game crammed with bits and pieces of different classic genres that should have satisfied my nostalgia itch, but failed horribly. With a twist of tower defense, a mechanical snippet of Angry Birds, and a smidge of beat ‘em up, I was left in a state of confusion about what this game desired to be along with horribly cramped hands from the poor control schemes.

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It’s a curse to play such horrible garbage.

Imagine for a moment that you’re the world’s perfect predator, and you have an open and sprawling city that is now your playground after being at rest in the shadows for hundreds of years. You’re sneaking up on your prey, salivating at the heartbeat that is about to feed you when you suddenly step on a twig. The echo of this twig somehow alerts every known enemy of yours, and you’re suddenly flanked and flayed mercilessly without ever being given the chance to fight back. This is Lords of Shadow 2: everything sounds great in theory, yet nothing works the way it’s intended to do so.

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The curse is real; now prepare to die over and over

Masochistic is a word often associated with the Souls games. Though they’re known to be incredibly difficult for anyone who may be new to the series, they’ve become only mildly challenging for veterans. However, Dark Souls II is no pushover, proving to be difficult as soon as the journey begins. Even in the most basic tutorial area, players will find death waiting for them. Whether you fall into a hole you overlooked or walk past an enemy who is able to catch up to you for an easy backstab, Dark Souls II isn’t afraid to kill you mercilessly. Although the game never feels cheap, it always finds a way to lure me into a well sprung trap in which I am ill-prepared for. Difficulty isn’t the only thing in which the Souls franchise is known for though, and Dark Souls II gives us another beautifully crafted world that’s perfectly ripe for exploration with rippling lore waiting to be uncovered and dissected.

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Let's try not to die (too often).

If you plan to venture through the lands of Dark Souls II, you’d best be prepared with the reflexes of a tiger and the survival skills of a Cub Scout troop leader. The adventure won’t be easy, but it can be made bearable with a few tips and tricks from the grandmaster himself (which is me, if you didn’t know). Throughout this gratuitously grandiose guide, I’ll be giving a few tips based on the environment and exploration, combat, items and item management, and online portions of the game, so grab a nice blanket and get comfortable, because this is going to be one hell of a ride!

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Sweet eye candy with a bitter gameplay aftertaste

Forza Motorsport 5 is probably one of the most beautiful games I’ve played to date. Honestly, it’s not uncommon for me to stop paying attention when I should be braking into a turn, simply because the beautifully crafted background grabbed my attention -- much like a gorgeous woman gracefully striding past me on the sidewalk. And, just like how I often walk face-first into a sign or lamp post while gawking at a stunning woman, my Forza 5 car often slams into a concrete barrier while cruising at 200 mph with my focus on the magnificent graphics as opposed to the course ahead.

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