Posted on 12/04/2013 at 10:58 PM
| Filed Under Blogs
FUCK THAT TREE SECTION!!! Seriously though, Plus10damage are doing a GOTY podcast soon where we argue about what games should and should not be on the GOTY list. I'm going to be arguing so hard against Tomb Raider it's not funny. Seriously, fuck that game. Here's some reasons: "Whoever designed the first two hours of this game is going to the special hell. After I kill them in a terribly vicious manner that would make Kratos proud, of course. Preferrably ripping out their eyes using a quick time event, which would be an ironic twist of fate seeing as how this insufferable cunt is so fucking fond of them."
"One of the main praises for this game is that it has a strong female lead. Sure, if you count a completely psychotic sex symbol as strong, then you're absolutely right. However, Lara is seriously not a good role model, nor is she an accomplishment of feminism. For starters, the only thing that seperates her from Nathan Drake is that she screams a lot more, and is a lot more scared than the big male action heroes who don't need to cry. I mean, outside of crying and screaming and being in an incredible amount of pain, she barely has a character. We're supposed to believe that she's gone through this huge transformation by the end because she can shoot people without crying, but she did that at the start of the game. She killed a dude who was getting frisky with her and started crying over it, only to start killing off his friends with the precision of Lee Harvey Oswald. SHE DOESN'T EVEN WINCE! I mean this bitch is completely psychotic. After she gets upset over killing a moose, she kills about a thousand animals for what is basically the game's currency. So not only is she a psychotic bitch, she's also an avid hater of anything that isn't human.
This is without mentioning that the first hour and a half holds your fucking hand more than the first 20 hours of FFXIII. At least that game let me walk for more than 5 seconds before interrupting me with a cutscene. And in the first 3 hours of this game, I swear to god there were more quick time events than the entire of Resident Evil 6. To take someone out silently you have to do a quicktime event. What's fucking silent about smashing the keys a million times per second?"
Look, Tomb Raider is decent, but not even in the top 20 games released this year.
Those are my thoughts on the game. Also, I'm glad you like Path of Exile. The game is great! I just finished it. The last boss is fucking hard though. Going through the next difficulty, and there are new spells and abilities! THEY ARE AWESOME!!! Oh, and you thought the game was grim early on, wait until you get to the second last area. There are piles of bodies, failed experiments on people, torture devices, pools of blood, and just general disturbing stuff. It's actually hilarious how overboard it is.
P.S. Sorry for how long this is...