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The Last Tinker: City of Colors Review

Color me neutral

Once upon a time, your average big budget game was expected to be bright and colorful with more realistic looking games being the exception. Today, however, a realistic look is more prominent and colorful games stand out more than ever. The Last Tinker: City of Colors feels like an attack against the loss of color - personified into a game - where the objective is to literally stop an evil force from removing all of the color in the world using the power of the red, green, and blue gods.

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Gummy Bears: The Magic Medallion Review

Might be enjoyable if you were high on crack, and weren’t the one playing.

This review is part of the 2014 Sh*tty Game Review Fest - read about the event here.

I hope there is a special place in Hell for Nintendo Wii shovelware developers. Gummi Bears, The Magic Medallion alone would win Storm City Games and everyone else involved with it prime oceanfront property at the sea of fire.  With platforming gameplay akin to wading through mud, and graphics similar to a bad Sega Game Gear game, this game, frankly, makes me want to dismantle the developer so they never strike again. 

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Jett Rocket II: The Wrath of Taikai Review

Releasing this game between the launch of the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 and right before Mario and Zelda was probably a mistake.

If you know the company, Shin’en, it’s likely that you associate them with their well-crafted shooters, and not the platforming genre. But back on the Wii, the team charted into these new grounds with Jett Rocket. The WiiWare title was a decent attempt at a 3D platformer that now has a follow-up on the 3DS eShop. Jett Rocket II: The Wrath of Taikai takes a slightly different approach, blending both 2D and 3D platforming, while working in an assortment of mini-games to break up the fifteen core levels. The brief experience is enjoyable at times, but more frequently blasé, being outclassed by other titles in both variants of the platforming genre.

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Cloudberry Kingdom Review

Level designer > Random level generator

I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t realize that Cloudberry Kingdom is entirely made up of randomly generated stages. They demand a level of precision and contain enough traps that you’d think some masochistic level designer was madly laughing as he put most of them together. Of course, this does speak volumes of the quality of the level generator that sits behind this intensely challenging 2D platformer, but without anything pulling everything together, it’s more of a never ending gauntlet of disparate levels than a game.

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Velocity 2X - Gameplay Footage

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Guacamelee! Review

¡Viva la escuela vieja!

Old school games are here to stay, thanks to gems like Guacamelee, a fun 2D beat-'em-up/platformer with endearing characters and dialogue and a distinct Mexican flavor. It's filled to the brim with humor and now-ancient video game references to Mario, Zelda, and Metroid that will leave you laughing at how blatant they are. Its setting, music, and modern design choices all work together to make something new enough that you'll forget you're off yet again to save una otra princesa.

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Rayman Legends Review

One of the best modern day platformers.

Two years ago, Rayman hit the scene with one of his most inspired adventures yet. It took series staples and wove them into one of the most beautiful and interesting platformers I’d ever seen. Well, Rayman Legends is now here and it somehow manages to surpass Rayman Origins in every way imaginable. It applies the same great platforming to gorgeous new inspired worlds and even manages to make it enjoyable for more than one concurrent player this time around.

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Steamworld Dig: A Fistful of Dirt Review

I really dig this game…

SteamWorld Dig is one of those completely out of left field games. Before it hit the market, I had no idea it was even a thing that existed. Shortly after witnessing a small sample of the gameplay, my interest level shot through the roof; rightfully so, as it turns out. This mining action-platformer is innovative, interesting, and fun from end to end.

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DuckTales: Remastered is a Thing That's Happening

Woo-oo!

PAX East just kicked off today in Boston, but we may already have born witness to what may be the event’s biggest announcement.  Capcom has announced that they will be resurrecting one of the most beloved platformers of all time.  That’s right, DuckTales is making a comeback this year.

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Ah! Heaven Review

The debate about the existence of Purgatory has been resolved! You can experience it yourself for an affordable 200 DSi Shop Points.

Boy, since jumping in video games is a lot of fun, it’s gotta be really great to play a whole game that lets you just jump, jump, jump all the way to Heaven!  Ducking? Pshhhhh.  Shooting?  Lame.  Variety?  Pass.  All we want is that sweet, sweet jumping!  These and other idiotic statements must have been scrawled down during some malformed focus group of imbeciles when the developers of Ah! Heaven were doing preliminary planning for their amazingly boring platformer.

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