
I actually really liked what you wrote. Obviously, since this is a part of your story in media res, I don't have full context of what people look like or exactly what a crumbling Kingdom Tower would be like, but I'm intrigued by these experimental enhancements and what exactly makes the Kingdom so sinister.
Honestly, the deaths went by pretty quickly, and I saw this more as a character study of Sophie, with her past and relationship to Ray, her parents, and the Kingdom, so if that's what you were going for, you succeeded.
I will say there was more context to Sophie's murdering, and Ray's came off a bit random. Both are obviously blind acts of passion, but Sophie's character is explored so that I know why she did what she did, but I guess Ray's killing of a random, incompetent worker could be indicative of rage issues, I just don't know enough about his character from this scene to judge that's what it is. You could write plenty before or after this to provide more context though, this seemed focused on Sophie, so you could focus on Ray a bit more.
Good job overall, I think.