It's 2015 and we've run out of ideas. You come up with them!
Hey PixlBit people! I’ve commandeered the website because, well, I can! It’s time for the Nerds Without Pants to do the obligatory year in review thingy, but I’ve decided to do things differently this time around. Yep, it’s time for another community topic episode, so read on to see how you can participate!
Get a real feel for Doom's stunning visuals!
Anticipation was high heading into this year’s QuakeCon, and the excitement was all due to the planned reveal of id Software’s upcoming Doom. Without any cameras allowed in and no demo videos or screenshots released, letting you get a good feel for what was shown in two separate demos will be a bit tough. Through the high-tech wizardry afforded us by MS Paint, though, you’re sure to have a full grasp on the dark, brutal, and intense segments shown on stage.
Now that all of the reviews have been posted, you, the reader can choose this year's winner.
Well, PixlBit's first Sh*tty Game Review Fest is officially in the books and from it, we've received four outstanding reviews. Julian Titus told us about ancient aliens, or was it something about Rome? Who can remember, but what we know for sure is that it didn't involve Matt R's travels through Wii shovelware via a Dodge Ram. And while a Dodge Ram is pretty manly, I'm not sure it grows the beard quite like playing dress-up with Chris and his Disney Princesses. Word's still out, but I think Matt Snee might've torn out his facial hair attempting to make Gummy Bears jump.
Might be enjoyable if you were high on crack, and weren’t the one playing.
This review is part of the 2014 Sh*tty Game Review Fest - read about the event here.
I hope there is a special place in Hell for Nintendo Wii shovelware developers. Gummi Bears, The Magic Medallion alone would win Storm City Games and everyone else involved with it prime oceanfront property at the sea of fire. With platforming gameplay akin to wading through mud, and graphics similar to a bad Sega Game Gear game, this game, frankly, makes me want to dismantle the developer so they never strike again.
Time to trade in my beard for a tiara, let’s do this!
This review is part of the 2014 Sh*tty Game Review Fest - read about the event here.
Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure is a tough nut to crack. On one hand, I can see where the developers were going with this and aiming it for children. On the other hand however, they made this game incredibly difficult to talk about considering the fact that I’m a grown man reviewing a game meant to be played by adolescent children. While Disney Princess comes through as a boring and extremely monotonous for my mediocrely functioning adult brain, it could still conceivably be a solid title for kids everywhere, probably.
Need for sleep.
This review is part of the 2014 Sh*tty Game Review Fest - read about the event here.
Believe it or not, the Dodge Ram license is the least offensively bad part of this bargain bin shovelware detritus that came out on Wii a few years ago. I'll grant that it's a fairly novel way to grab the attention of the idiot masses, and it's never been done before. Now that the good aspects are covered, it's all downhill from here.
Don’t know nothin’ ‘bout history…
This review is part of the 2014 Sh*tty Game Review Fest - read about the event here.
When the directors of PixlBit approached the staff with Operation: S----ty Game Review, I jumped at the opportunity. I’ve been off the writing horse for a bit, and there’s something a bit refreshing about getting a chance to eviscerate critique a game that you know isn’t very good. If anything, it helps put things in perspective. So, when we got our games and did our unboxing videos, the general consensus amongst the PixlBit readers and staff was that I got off easy with HISTORY ™: Great Empires: Rome. Well, as someone who has absolutely no love for classic PC-style games (no, seriously), an old-school, turn-based strategy title ala Civilization is about as appealing as playing Barbie’s First Free Clinic Visit.
Come see four PixlBit staff members unbox their crappy games on video!
Sometimes it's necessary in life to shake things up. The fact is, the PixlBit writers seem to have it too good, so Chessa and I (but mostly Chessa) concocted a little event for our own amusement. Rather than allow our writers to continue to cover the things they love, we've decided to force upon them the junk games that have been sitting around PixlBit HQ for ages.
Thunder rumbles on the Genesis.
If there was one thing that Techno Soft did very well in the 16-bit days, it was shoot ‘em ups. It all started when they created Thunder Force in 1984. It was released on the NEC PC-8801 and several other Japanese home computers at the time, but never saw the light of day in the US. The game featured an overhead free-roaming viewpoint and the goal was to destroy the enemy’s shield generators, using your main shot for air targets and the bomb shot for ground targets in each stage. While it’s tough to gauge the game’s popularity from back then, it apparently did well enough to warrant a sequel. Thunder Force II was released four years later for the Sega Genesis in 1989, making it the very first shoot ‘em up on the system.
Get ready to earn your wings.
In the early ‘90s, a new video game console was only as strong as its launch titles. When we look back at a console’s history and wonder what attracted us to it, often it’s those first games that we think of and say, "that’s why I fell in love with that system." Nintendo understood this concept when they released the Super Nintendo. Included among a shortlist of launch games was the flight simulation, Pilotwings. Beginning as an early tech demo in 1988 to show off the Mode 7 graphical capabilities of the 16-bit system, Pilotwings was developed into a full-fledged game that allowed us to take to the skies in a way never before possible on a home console.
