PixlBit

As the title suggests!

I’m sure some of you have been playing “Where’s Ben?”. It’s kind of like the unpopular bastard version of “Where’s Waldo?”. Regardless, a lot has been going on so I’ll do my best to summarize.

March 4th I took my cat to the vet one last time. His temperature was 10 degrees below normal and the vet was surprised he was even alive. Alex and I chose to put him to sleep simply so he would not suffer anymore. I broke down and cried at the veterinarian clinic and this has been followed by periods of numbness, shock, and utter disbelief.

As for gaming? Yeah well, I think Jesse’s angry article about the demise of the Dead Space franchise sums up how I feel too. I’m tired of companies striving to sell 5 million copies with their “one size fits all” mentality. Many franchises are special because they start off with something unique about them. Though throwing in things like co-op, micro transactions, and weapon customization seems “hip and modern” it can also detract from other things such as atmosphere, immersion, and the feeling of isolation.  I’m not saying DS3 is a bad game. Hell, I haven’t played it yet. However, I did pick up RE6 and though I enjoy that game for what it is (I don’t think it’s as terrible as the critics lead us to believe) I can see where it stumbled. (Capcom tried to make RE 6 so it would appeal to everyone yet as a result they simply made many long time fans angry. Not only that but they fell short of their goal to sell 7 million copies. Why do you think we’re getting a copy of RE: Revelations so soon? So they can use that game to make up for their losses of course!)

The problem is game publishers see this as a numbers game. They’re not gamers who are passionate about playing games nor are they developers who are passionate about making games. They’re just suits trying to find a magical formula which can manifest “instant win” into their profit margins each time they release a new title. Where has that gotten them? They’re losing money fast. So much in fact they’re having to close down studios and cancel franchises. Yup, karma has finally come to bite them hard on their green-back adorned asses! It’s just too bad that as a result creative people who truly loved contributing to game creation are being laid off on account their higher ups are money munching narcissistic retards.

By now we’re not impressed by shock and awe. We’re used to great graphics and we’re starting to catch on that it takes more than impressive visuals to make a good game. This revelation is making many big dawgs in the gaming industry quake in their collective britches. They know they’re going to have to come up with a new strategy fast.

So what have I been playing in the meantime minus all the corporate intrigue? Cave-Story + on Steam and Super House Of Dead Ninjas on Adult-Swim! In a way indulging in these games gives me the same smug satisfaction as giving a big finger to EA and Capcom but besides that, they’re so much fun to play! Can you believe Cave-Story was made by one guy? (Even the music) That’s mind blowing! Both these games can be “free” depending on where you look for them. I actually bought Cave-Story + on Steam but I’m playing the free version of Super house of dead ninjas.

Sorry I didn’t make rounds yesterday. I was kind of in a rut and had to go grocery shopping. Beyond that, my cat is still in a fragile shaky state. I want to say he’s getting better but Alex still has to force feed him with a dropper syringe. We’ve also been doing steam treatments to help clear his sinuses. (For those not in the know, my kitty has been sick lately.)

Eventually I'm going to start posting some "actual blogs" again. It's just lately I've been caught up in Rpgmaker vx ace and doing actual house-work so visitors will actual think I'm a homosapien instead of being a neanderthal!

Just wanted everyone to know if you sent me a friend request via Xbox live you've been added! Would have done that yesterday but things kept coming up. At this point my headset is screwed (frayed chord) but I can still correspond via keyboard! Though I tend to be shy, I'm good about responding to replies sent to me. Thanks for being patient with me! You're the best bros ever,bros! (And bro-dettes!)

I’ve been a dunce with my introductory blog here at pixlbit. Twice I wrote it and twice I ended up not being signed in. I finally had to check the box for the site to remember me. Seems like common sense, right? Be that as it may,  sometimes I’m running short on that stuff. Lol. Regardless, I’d like to thank Julian, Nick, and everyone else here for making us feel welcome. Certainly I expected kindness and sympathy but I did not the red carpet treatment too! You guys are the best!

What happened to 1up was sad and more than a little scary for me. I remember at that moment I was working on my game in rpgmaker xp. When I returned my closest friends had sent me messages wanting to “keep in touch”.  I would have thought it was an April Fool’s stunt if not for the fact it’s February right now.

Jeremy Parish wrote a beautiful soliloquy about how much the site (and by extension us) had meant to him over the years. I could tell it was sincere. There was not a single patch of veiled sarcasm to be found. (Though there was a pretty funny reference to Harry Potter and Hagrid!)

Some people accused Jeremy and co. of “not caring” towards the end but to me it seemed more like the case of dwindling resources, dwindling staff, and dwindling  revenue. All things considered, the 1up crew kept that derelict-ghost-ship running smoothly long after its’ power core had been ejected into space. As a result I have nothing but respect for them.

As for my personal run as a blogger? Towards the end I was pulling in over 1,000 views a day. Throughout my years of being on 1up I was even offered jobs by other sites to write for them. I wore the “game journalist hat” just long enough to realize how difficult it can be. The experiences I had gave me sincere respect for those in the field. Trust me, being a “professional game journalist” is not easy. We hear stories about champagne parties and backstage invites but that’s only for the journalists who work for the biggest names. Everyone else struggles and works their asses off for the smallest snippets of information and the occasional game demo.

Of course that wasn’t my goal at all. I blogged because I loved games and I loved to talk to gamers. (You, yeah YOU! The person reading this! I did it for you!) It really was that simple. I probably could have made money and been deemed a success story but the truth is I’m too sporadic and off the wall to thrive in a structured work environment.

I do feel some regrets over my blog dissolving slowly into the great nothing. I thought the recent piece I did on cyber bullying was really good and it hit home how even us geeks are not without our faults and petty moments. Yet a part of me is also willing to let that part of me die a quiet dignified death.

1up was a rose but it had its’ thorns too. I remember thinking I’d never make enemies but sure enough, I did. Between us, I don’t mind the occasional troll, posted Spiderman meme, or heckle. If it comes from a friend it can even make me laugh and brighten an otherwise dreary day. Laughter is the best medicine!

Thus I was surprised to learn that there are people out there who really have malicious intent. They really do see themselves as “the elite” and they try to defame and slander anyone who is not apart of their collective of loathing. It doesn’t hurt as much when you realize most of these people haven’t created anything worthwhile themselves. Usually it’s just a sad lonely person on the internet trying to get a reaction from anyone who will respond. Yet when one of those people turns out to be a professional paid game journalist from a revered place we call "home" it gives us reason to pause.

Before I go on, most of you know who I’m talking about. There’s no need to mutter his name. Last time I checked on this guy he was sick and going somewhere to be fired. I can honestly say at this point I wish this person the best and hope he recovers soon. Furthermore, I hope he doesn’t stay unemployed too long. I’ve been poor, jobless, and homeless and I don’t think I possess the spite necessary to wish that on another human being. (Even one who caused me so much grief)

My point is we need to give this consideration. We need to accept our words hold power and can be used for good or for ill. The more influence we have the more people we can hurt. With great power comes great responsibility! (Check out how original I am!)

Like a wary knight coming home from a mythical battle, I’ve seen both the wondrous and terrible sides of the gaming subculture. Additionally I’ve stumbled along the path of righteousness myself. I never tried to harm innocent people yet at some points I have. My dented charred armor is every bit as imperfect as I am.

Needless to say, my blogging sword arm isn’t what it used to be pixlbit. For now I’ll step away and let other heroines and heroes tell their tales of valor as I merely listen to them by the warm hearth with a smile on my weathered face. I may not be much to look at but I’ve been told my lewd jokes can incite a giggle and I’m willing to work the fields when they need a good plow! Will you have me?